->-bleeped-<- As Pejorative
TS-SI
By Evangelina Carters   
20 January, 2011


http://ts-si.org/guest-columns/28598-->-bleeped-<--as-pejorative


I am not so naïve as to think everyone will agree with everything I write or say. I don't know Ms Love — and have not read much of what she has written — and certainly have not read anything she wrote regarding that column. But, if Ms Love believes I generalized too much while agreeing with a part of the message, I think that's a fair comment.

While this was going on, Autumn Sandeen published Ashley Love And Anti-Defamation as a four-part series at Pam's House Blend. [N2] The articles caused enough of a ruckus to draw comment from Enough Non-Sense [N3], as well as Sharon Gaughan at TS-Si. [N4]

First off, Sandeen conforms to guidance from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) Media Guide, which does not like the term ->-bleeped-<-. [N5] According to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) [N6], ->-bleeped-<- is defined as:

    a person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex.


Crossdresser, in the same dictionary, is defined as:

    a person who wears the clothes of the opposite sex.


Now, since I was speaking specifically of those who gain sexual pleasure from dressing in attire conventionally appropriate to the opposite sex, and becoming addicted to that sexual pleasure so derived, I am fully entitled to use the word in its correct context and meaning, even if the term is occasionally misapplied by others. Not is it my responsibility if Sandeen or anyone else does not like to admit to themselves what sparks their flame!

I think there is a stigma attached to everyone who is under the transbrella in some way or another. Transsexuals seem to have a lesser stigma (outside of the porn industry hijacking) than cross dressers do. I believe being transsexual is more acceptable to society in general than it is for cross dressers. I also believe that a lot of cross dressers do try to use the acceptance of transsexuals to justify their own situation. I believe this is really not fair to the transsexual community because it makes it harder to get certain rights transsexuals need.

There is one thing in common between us, though. We are all discriminated against in some way and are at risk of being ridiculed, bullied, attacked and even killed for just being ourselves.  I think it is important to think about this.

Several months ago I was on a date and we were at a bar in the LGBT district when a group from the burbs came in. This group calls themselves t-girls and is mostly made up of cross dressers. A few of them headed straight for the dance floor and started dancing. Almost immediately two of them started dirty dancing and grinding their knees into each other's crotches. I almost instantly had a minor panic attack and felt claustrophobic and had great anxiety. I felt everyone in the bar looked at them and then looked at me and to them I was a guy in a skirt. It was pretty horrific for me. I told my date we had to leave. Those cross dressers were enjoying knee massaging each other's male genitalia and it just freaked me out.

After that situation my mindset totally changed about our community. I do feel the need that transsexuals should not be under the current transbrella. But at the same time I don't want to be disrespectful of non-transsexuals in our group. Everyone should be able to do what they need to do to be happy.

I am really struggling with all of this and hope people don't yell at me for expressing my thoughts. I want to do the right thing for myself as well as our brothers, sisters and others in the group. I wish there was a way to come up with a methodology that makes everyone happy but not sure if that is possible.

Quote from: Dana Lane on January 21, 2011, 05:26:38 AM
I believe this is really not fair to the transsexual community because it makes it harder to get certain rights transsexuals need.

You know a sizable chunk of the LGB community say the same thing about us. Hence why were an easily sacrificable blob for negotiation when it comes to drafting legistlation for equal rights.

Quote from: pebbles on January 21, 2011, 06:09:18 AM
You know a sizable chunk of the LGB community say the same thing about us. Hence why were an easily sacrificable blob for negotiation when it comes to drafting legistlation for equal rights.

You have a good point there.