As a pre-op, I have a habit when I date with men(straight) I don't tell them immediately what I am but let them get acquainted to me more. The majority DUMP me in a fraction of second as soon as they know, the others would accept you just for sex, then leave you but no one would wanna maintain a long-term relationship. But recently I've met a guy who pretends having fallen deeply and madly in love with me. (In my heart I was saying "You hypocrite, I sense how you're gonna dump me like the rest as soon as you'll know on me")After a while when I thrashed out the truth, I thought he'd either dump me or just stay for sex but this time this one stayed with me and his ways of treating me didn't change at all. He was just shocked.

The strangest thing is he is a strict straight man. He says he doesn't understand himself anymore cos he generally hates homos/->-bleeped-<-s. Before he use to hurl them with insults etc... When I ask him why does he still love me cos I myself I'm in complete shock that he accepted me as I am. He says he is so in love with my personality and cannot leave me no matter what. I asked him what if I can never manage to operate, will he still love me. He says he'd prefer see me operated but staying as I am forever won't change anything in the way he loves me. It's been already 1 week now we are living together in an apartment and all is going smooth. All this is too good to be true. I'm confused whether this will even last.

He says he was perhaps CURSED cos once as he was insulting a trans, the girl cursed him and said his child was gonna become one too. He says maybe it's a curse to give him a lesson that trans people should be looked at equally cos he cannot understand himself how he is deeply in love with me and cannot detach and pretends he won't leave me no matter what. I'm a bit skeptic but I'll see how long our story will last. I pray he's my lifetime partner, I waited almost half of my life to get someone accept me as I am.

Good luck.

Most people don't think very much about their prejudices. Honestly, I don't think most people think very much at all. They don't know why they do what they do, and they don't really care - until someone or something comes along to make them question it.

They don't always change their minds, but some do.

Whoa, you've only know him for a week and you're already living with him?

Quote from: kyril on January 24, 2011, 01:40:15 AM
Most people don't think very much about their prejudices. Honestly, I don't think most people think very much at all. They don't know why they do what they do, and they don't really care - until someone or something comes along to make them question it.

They don't always change their minds, but some do.

^^
This.

Quote from: Sharky on January 24, 2011, 04:44:44 AM
Whoa, you've only know him for a week and you're already living with him?

I'm not one for stepping on other people's sunshine, but this is what I thought too.

What is the meaning of transphobe exactly?

Hmmm i think my current friend, who is an older MTF lady has a crush on me and i had no idea, we've been hanging out a lot and i really like her in a "mom" type of way. after i found out she has a thing for me it creeped me out and just made me wanna avoid her. does this make me a transphobe?? 

Quote from: KillBelle on January 24, 2011, 10:07:17 PM
What is the meaning of transphobe exactly?

Hmmm i think my current friend, who is an older MTF lady has a crush on me and i had no idea, we've been hanging out a lot and i really like her in a "mom" type of way. after i found out she has a thing for me it creeped me out and just made me wanna avoid her. does this make me a transphobe??

Staying away from someone who creeps you out due to them as an individual is not transphobic. You are not avoiding her over ignorance and fear.

Quote from: KillBelle on January 24, 2011, 10:07:17 PM
What is the meaning of transphobe exactly?

Hmmm i think my current friend, who is an older MTF lady has a crush on me and i had no idea, we've been hanging out a lot and i really like her in a "mom" type of way. after i found out she has a thing for me it creeped me out and just made me wanna avoid her. does this make me a transphobe??

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! You're not a transphobe, you can't hate your 'owns'. You're maybe just a 'Pedophobe'. LOL!

Quote from: Sharky on January 24, 2011, 04:44:44 AM
Whoa, you've only know him for a week and you're already living with him?

I know him for almost 1 month already and we're both very in love with each other. We have been dating since 1 month but it's only 1 week now that we're living together. AND YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE THIRSTY OF LOVE AND HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF LOVE FOR ALMOST HALF OF YOUR LIFE, you have no time to think and will grab the 1st opportunity before it's too late. I have no time to wait anymore. Whatever happens, happens now...If he has to leave me, he leaves me but at least I know I jumped into the waters as fast as possible. I'm used being heart-broken anyway...

Quote from: KillBelle on January 24, 2011, 10:07:17 PM
What is the meaning of transphobe exactly?

Hmmm i think my current friend, who is an older MTF lady has a crush on me and i had no idea, we've been hanging out a lot and i really like her in a "mom" type of way. after i found out she has a thing for me it creeped me out and just made me wanna avoid her. does this make me a transphobe??

Some older people think that younger people want to date them or hope they do. This is why when dealing with people of ages greater than 10 ys its always best to state the mom or older sis or youger sister relationship. I did that with a friend after she transitioned and i had found out her age. She is now only 34 and i am in my 50's.  I also have had much old TS sisters want me too. Some people can deal with this as younger people and some can't Its your job to make clear to all you get close to or hang out with know where you stand and what are your interest. Also for those in their 20's they need to be especially careful with anyone under 18 as that can be legal trouble. They may be even only 18,19 or 20 but messing with under 18s is a recipe for trouble. And if your older than 21 its best to even be careful about 18 to 21 yr olds. Many youth like to use the power of youth and the feeling of potentially being taken advantage of as a power tool and threaten others for stuff etc etc. That is a concept readily accepted today by todays youth but never was used back in my days so many older people don't know about it until they are in trouble.

I liked trying to be a big sister friend (when i was dressing female) to those younger but even that can be misconstrued. I have always prefered people my own age or a little older so i could learn from them. However, i have found some 5 yrs younger as i am in my 50's can be very more knowledgable than myself. I do not have intimate experiences that many of them have but the difference in age further than 5 yrs younger makes me feel i should accept people 5 yrs older which i don't mind but many times i also don't depending on simple attractions.

Get ready for these issues everyone because as YOU grow older you will find them coming into play for you.

PS: There was a time i lied about my age but i still kept the age limit in my mind if it grew to love and the truth came out.

Quote from: Sad Girl on January 25, 2011, 06:34:25 AM
I know him for almost 1 month already and we're both very in love with each other. We have been dating since 1 month but it's only 1 week now that we're living together. AND YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE THIRSTY OF LOVE AND HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF LOVE FOR ALMOST HALF OF YOUR LIFE, you have no time to think and will grab the 1st opportunity before it's too late. I have no time to wait anymore. Whatever happens, happens now...If he has to leave me, he leaves me but at least I know I jumped into the waters as fast as possible. I'm used being heart-broken anyway...

Well for me the heartbreak is never worth the short stint of false love but hey to each their own.

I have always been hurt too since 5th grade and well after that breakup which i was in love and then after two more relationships which ended up with children and each one only lasted a month then they left with the baby in belly and then finally the post op who left me after my GRS,  i am not one to take any more chances for love even though i have looked. I prefer being single and celibate and thankfully after transitioning i have no sex drive unless it is true love so the only thing i desire now is a platonic roommate to share my farm when mom passes. I do hate being alone though    last night i cried thinking of being alone    i could be a great older friend though to a group of younger or elderly trans who need a decent safe place to live. i could be like the house captain 

WHEN YOU'RE THIRSTY OF LOVE AND HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF LOVE FOR ALMOST HALF OF YOUR LIFE, you have no time to think and will grab the 1st opportunity before it's too late.

Bunch of people I hang out with would call this setting yourself up for 'a nine mile skid on a ten mile ride.'

The only, ONLY, relationships I've ever seen that really work out are those that happen between equals as equals, and then, only about half the time.

Dear Sad Girl,

I am happy that you have found love. I am a believer in romance. (perhaps that does not make me a realist).  Collect the roses in life. Plant them in your heart and let them grow. Some time we just have to ignore the weeds.

I am not know for my great wit so if you are scratching your head, I am sure you are not alone. Ha ha.

Best wishes and hugs.
Patty

Hi Sad Girl,

Great you are in love with a guy who is accepting of you being trans. It doesn't happen a lot to meet guys like that, so you know you have a special guy out there. Wishing you the best of luck and have lots of fun together

Hugs,
Sweetie

Quote from: KillBelle on January 24, 2011, 10:07:17 PM
What is the meaning of transphobe exactly?

Hmmm i think my current friend, who is an older MTF lady has a crush on me and i had no idea, we've been hanging out a lot and i really like her in a "mom" type of way. after i found out she has a thing for me it creeped me out and just made me wanna avoid her. does this make me a transphobe??

As others said already... no you're not a transphobe. How can one be trans and also be transphobic? I can understand how it freaked you out that this person you like in a 'mom'-way has a crush on you... I hope you can remain friends anyway

How can one be trans and also be transphobic?

Well from lots of reading on here all I can say is, apparently its not very hard.

Quote from: sweetie87 on January 25, 2011, 11:26:54 AM
As others said already... no you're not a transphobe. How can one be trans and also be transphobic? I can understand how it freaked you out that this person you like in a 'mom'-way has a crush on you... I hope you can remain friends anyway

Thanks hun! 

Aww nice story =) Hopefully he can learn from this that we are real people. ALL of us.

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on January 25, 2011, 06:51:07 AM
Some older people think that younger people want to date them or hope they do. This is why when dealing with people of ages greater than 10 ys its always best to state the mom or older sis or youger sister relationship. I did that with a friend after she transitioned and i had found out her age. She is now only 34 and i am in my 50's.  I also have had much old TS sisters want me too. Some people can deal with this as younger people and some can't Its your job to make clear to all you get close to or hang out with know where you stand and what are your interest. Also for those in their 20's they need to be especially careful with anyone under 18 as that can be legal trouble. They may be even only 18,19 or 20 but messing with under 18s is a recipe for trouble. And if your older than 21 its best to even be careful about 18 to 21 yr olds. Many youth like to use the power of youth and the feeling of potentially being taken advantage of as a power tool and threaten others for stuff etc etc. That is a concept readily accepted today by todays youth but never was used back in my days so many older people don't know about it until they are in trouble.

I liked trying to be a big sister friend (when i was dressing female) to those younger but even that can be misconstrued. I have always prefered people my own age or a little older so i could learn from them. However, i have found some 5 yrs younger as i am in my 50's can be very more knowledgable than myself. I do not have intimate experiences that many of them have but the difference in age further than 5 yrs younger makes me feel i should accept people 5 yrs older which i don't mind but many times i also don't depending on simple attractions.

Get ready for these issues everyone because as YOU grow older you will find them coming into play for you.

PS: There was a time i lied about my age but i still kept the age limit in my mind if it grew to love and the truth came out.

Lol...i wouldnt date guys younger than me anyway...so gross!!! He'd have to be older, stable, sharp, witty in a sarcastic way, well put together and kind of reminds me of Mr. Big from Sex and the City. LOL....guys in suits are so to die for.