Hi guys, wondering if you can help me out on this one too--I have so appreciated your feedback on other posts. My FTM partner has been on T now for 17 days, and recently I have noticed s/he can go from 0 to 60 in terms of stress over what seems like not big deal triggers. Our son (age 4) and I are sort of tip-toeing around. But considering how stressful all this transitioning is, it could have nothing to do with the T at all. I guess I was wondering if any of you experienced stress/claustrophobia etc as part of this T stuff. I am doing my best to go with the flow but sometimes, yikes. Thanks, Helios.

I'll be honest and say that nothing get me irritable more than when people blame my irritability on T. I'm not saying that you are doing that though. When I first started T I would get a bit moody because I was still adjusting to it and it was kind of like winding down from being so stressed about transition, like coming to the realization that you don't have as many things to stress about. Plus you get all those raging hormones inside you that you have never experienced before. It went away pretty quickly, probably within a month or two I think. I've been on T for just over a year now and am much more relaxed, way less irritable, and much happier than I was both pre-T and during the first few months.

My experience was the opposite: After starting T, I was better able to shake off stressors and handle adversity that would have stressed me out.

However, a lot of my experience was related to the process of HOW I started - taking hormone blocker first, then introducing a low dose of T, and taking weekly & not biweekly injections.

If your partner has JUST started T at a higher dose, in the biweekly format, and without stopping the E in the body first, yes, it could take time to sort itself out.

Also, some people experience the trough period (10-14 days after injection) much worse than other people and need to shift to a weekly schedule & some people even then are better off on daily/gel delivery for mood stability.

The best way for your partner to figure out how much of this is the T versus random life events is to keep a mood journal. Have your partner write down at the end of the day: (1) How stressed did he feel that day? (2) How well did he feel able  to cope with that stresss? Scale of 1-10.

Do that for the first 2 months. Look for patterns. If it is all over the place, then it's not the T. If it is ALWAYS high, then your partner probably could benefit from counseling and/or stress management help. If it maps out in a pattern around injections OR around the timing of the menstrual cycle (if it still exists or where it would be if it was still happening), then you can identify more of the cause. And if it is related to the peak/trough of T, then your partner can adjust accordingly (more frequent delivery of lower dose).

Dear Carson, yes I totally get how it could really piss someone off to suggest they're irritable because of T!! Which is why i rely on you guys to give me the skinny....thanks, i appreciate it.

Dear Sean, thanks so much about the idea of a mood journal. He's just started writing some stuff down and maybe I can suggest this without being too annoying about it. Part of the problem is he seems to be denying that he is stressed, but I think that's probably because he's feeling guilty about it. I am sure it must be very hard to be doing all this AND trying to maintain a 13 year relationship and be parent.

Anyway thanks a lot, once again. I really appreciate it. Helios

I attend a family support group ... my son is transgender...the two guys who run the group are transmen.

One of the issue that was brought up at the meeting was the irratiability of our kids who have started hormones --- the group has parents of both ftm & mtf .... and both of the guy said --- if you had asked them at the time they started hrt they would has said the hormones had no affect on them and it would have pissed them off if you said it did.  Both of them transitioned late in life (after 40)....and they said if they had been younger it would have been worse.  They both said it took them several years to realize that even though they thought they had control over things that the emotions of getting folks to accept you, the switching your mindset that you didn't have to fit into the gender roles you were born into and the hormones changing things was over whelming and difficult to manage.

I also had a couple of months where my friends described me as "less than predictable" ....... but it passed fairly quick. Now most people say I'm even calmer than before (I'm a Pisces....what can I say). I will say that most of the time when I was "moody" I had no idea why, what could fix it or anything. It's puberty......the Bermuda triangle of rationale and sanity;-)

-J

I am almost a year on T and I'm just now feeling REALLY irritable and stressed. It might have to do with transitioning in a house that doesn't accept me so it constantly makes me furious but I don't know. I don't feel sad. I feel angry OFTEN. I know it's an emotion I'm having because of the T because I can't cry at all.

I'm sorry that you're having to work around that.  Have you tried suggesting taking up running/swimming/something like that?  It might help to work out some of that stress.

After starting T it was if the "noise" in my head went down and I was more "aware" of my emotions.
I've come to realize that I'm carrying around a lot of anger.

But T itself has not increased my irritability at all.

T has made me much happier and more relaxed.  However ... it has also made me more assertive.  For the first few months I had a tendency to blurt things out, or act impulsively, when I got irritated, instead of bottling everything up inside like I used to.  It took a little while to regain my natural tendency toward circumspection.

Quote from: Jamie-o on February 01, 2011, 07:05:52 AM
it has also made me more assertive.

Assertive that is the word I am looking for. I started about a month ago and am starting to chill out a bit more. I never got "angrier or irritable" but I did get annoyed/frustrated easier. My uncle, when I was pre-T use to be highly annoying but I could bite my lip and ignore it. Now I actually say something to him. I speak my opinions more so I'm having to learn how to do that without coming off sounding like a jerk because in the past I always just kept my mouth shut if that makes sense?