In another thread Cynthialee posted this comment, quoted in part:

Quoteyou are still using the male patern of speech. Women and men use different accents. Your accent is still in the male camp.

I'd like to hear more about this. is this a reference to cadence or idioms or something I'm missing?

I fully recognize my speech patterns are (to my great disappointment) too male, ubt i never thought of it as an accent, per se - but more a, for lack of a better description "highly-rational" pattern rather than an "highly-emotional" pattern.

As an example, and it's very hard to communicate in print: i see a girl friend of mine and we chat. it tends to come in things like "So where are you working now?" "Yes, I've heard they love to work a lot of overtime there" and "I know I need a job bad" and "So how's your family? Did your son get into that college?"

whereas, what i would consider an emotion based female pattern would be more like:
"So! I haven't seen you in SO long! What have you been doing?"
"Oh I know! Sue worked there and she said they 'bout worked her to death"
"I don't know what I'm going to do if i don't find a job soon, I don't know what I'm supposed to do"
"how are the kids? I can't believe Josh is already headed to college, they grow up so fast!"


Now that might be exaggerated a bit but you see what I'm saying I hope. Just more connected, more warm and heartfelt - I often think everything I say sounds "cold"

But is this the "accent" or is it something else?

I don't know if I'd personally call that an "accent", though I do see what you mean as far as speech patterns are concerned. Maybe you mean your inflections? I overanalyze things a bit, but I do notice how much women tend to have more variation in their speech and often end on an up-note, almost as if they're asking a question. This isn't hard fact or anything, and of course everyone is different but I do notice it quite a bit. I've always tended to naturally go with the "emotional" speech pattern as you called it, and it's something I've had to work on a bit to keep from being teased by the guys when I'm presenting as a male. I've also always been very animated, in that I use my hands to gesture a lot, another thing that gave me a lot of strife in high school. :p

Quote from: Tammy Hope on January 30, 2011, 11:10:57 PM

whereas, what i would consider an emotion based female pattern would be more like:
"So! I haven't seen you in SO long! What have you been doing?"
"Oh I know! Sue worked there and she said they 'bout worked her to death"
"I don't know what I'm going to do if i don't find a job soon, I don't know what I'm supposed to do"
"how are the kids? I can't believe Josh is already headed to college, they grow up so fast!"

There ain't no accent! Accents are localized: Southern, Midwestern, Northeastern, various across the ocean accents... and I talk like that all the time when I'm happy, I hope it's not exaggerated.

My wife just shuddered as I tried to put on Lola's accent (from the BBC cartoon Charlie and Lola) while reading to my daughter. 

I did pick up the animated hands ting real quick. I had a GG who was doing my eyebrows actually comment on how "classically girlish" I was in that regard. it came natural to me.

One other problem I have is that, as a friend of mine used to say, if you ask me what time it is I'll tell you how the watch works"

One of the behavior modification things - probably a myth - that I've always been drawn to is the idea of  (and this is an entirely inaccurate way to describe it but it's a phrase which captures the intent) "dumbing down" my speech patterns. Not of course to actually BE less intelligent, but just less inclined to use 9 words when nine will do.
Less inclined to always want to be the one with the right answer, less inclined to be the dominate a conversation.

There isn't a female accent, really.  There are some differences in how females project their voices due to some differences in the vocal structures.  If your voice is really deep, you will probably have difficulty mimicking those inflections.

I noticed that females tend to modulate their voice quicker than men do.  When I had a deep voice, I found that very difficult to do.  That's one of the reasons that I spoke in monotone when my voice was really deep.  Now that my voice is higher, it is becoming easier to alter the tone of my voice more rapidly, but I still don't really have that female "accent" as you call it.

As well as pitch and rhythm, women also tend to use language slightly differently. Remember that female is passive and that girls assimilate their mother's ways as they grow up.

As women are more passive their language is also cast in a less assertive voice, thus opinions tend to be softer with a questioning rather than asserting angle.

Women are more expressive in the softer side of life. You would never hear a man referring to shirt or jumper as "gorgeous", now would you?

Caroline

Quote from: carolinejeo on January 31, 2011, 06:03:45 AM
Women are more expressive in the softer side of life. You would never hear a man referring to shirt or jumper as "gorgeous", now would you?

"Never" is a strong word. My cis male, straight Marine veteran soon-to-be-ex likes to refer to things as "adorable."

Quote from: carolinejeo on January 31, 2011, 06:03:45 AM
As well as pitch and rhythm, women also tend to use language slightly differently. Remember that female is passive and that girls assimilate their mother's ways as they grow up.

As women are more passive their language is also cast in a less assertive voice, thus opinions tend to be softer with a questioning rather than asserting angle.

As an ex-English major, I can say that they try to beat this out of you in college. Literature written by women, does not tend to reflect this widely held belief - At least, not the literature I've read. The Handmaid's Tale is an excellent example, an extraordinary feminine work, but dripping with sensuality and heavy language.

Women writing generally do so in a neutral way .

Anyone can write for either gender and this is reflected in the language.

Remember that classic women authors were living in a male dominated world.

Caroline

Quote from: carolinejeo on February 01, 2011, 05:19:37 AM

Remember that classic women authors were living in a male dominated world.

Caroline

Yeah, I suppose writing is a bit of a different story.

We still do live in a male dominated world, though it's getting different (better!) all the time. I think of the continued changing roles of women in business environments, where a passive voice is considered weakness and will get you pounced on by some jackal, regardless of gender. This is the thing that I, not being raised as a girl among girls, have not been able to wrap my mind around. It's okay to speak as though you know exactly what you want, when you want it, and why. Less is more, and a passive voice does not allow for a full embrace of that concept.

In one regard I agree completely with you, I want to be like my mother. My mom is the most assertive person I know. My mother held three jobs while raising four kids and studying for her nursing degree. She was asleep when she wasn't at work or trying to keep up with us, and eventually became an emergency room director with a boat, two houses, three cars, and regularly takes trips around the country just because she can. My aunt, whom I closely identify with, is happy and successful in much the same way. I had a pair of wonder woman role models.