Okay, so I've been looking for a new place to live recently and I've come across some pretty insane people (and I realize that I'm a "different" kind of person even though I'm judging others). I went to see this one room being rented by a lady who was a hoarder. She had SO much stuff cluttered up around her home. I could barely walk. She was a sweet lady, though. The person I met Saturday night, though, beats them all.
Let me start by saying that I replied to the ad not knowing if the person was male or female (I'm preferring to live with females, but I'm at the point where I may take what I can get). She replied back that I sounded like I'd make a great roommate and to call her as soon as possible to set up a time to view the place. Being cautious, I asked if she had a problem with feminine boys who tend to wear makeup and be generally pretty fabulous (because it's better to be honest up front than for it to come out later). I get an e-mail reply followed by an immediate phone call that she just LOVES feminine boys and how wonderful they are and her son is gay and so on and so forth. She thinks I'd make the perfect roommate and she's cool and drama-free and what a great match I am, etc. Her enthusiasm should have set off my alarm bells, but I agreed to meet up with her just to be polite.
So, I get to the house... First, she decorates in this style that's something like... hunters lodge. It's okay, everyone's entitled to their tastes. She says she's 62 years old, she's average weight and height, and starts off giving me a big old squeezing hug and tells me how much of a girl I look like. She gives me a tour of her place which includes a long stint in her walk-in closet holding up different dresses to me saying how great I'd look in them and how sad I'm not her shoe size and how much she wants to make me over... Yeah, alarm bells are wailing in my head. She then describes her son, who is gay, a bear, is a top, and likes it rough. To a complete stranger!! I had only met her 10 minutes earlier! She claims the bedroom is noise-proof, so if I feel like screaming and getting off, it's all good with her. She's also drama-free too, remember? Well, we sit out on the porch and she launches into this hardship case about how she's got a huge medical malpractice suit pending, how her sons have millions of dollars and their own private jets, how she'd like to get me a part in this movie she's producing as a campy drag queen, and how absolutely fabulous it would be to have me as a roommate. After about another 20 minutes of talking, I was finally able to get a word in edgewise that I was late for a dinner date with a girlfriend. I then hightailed it out of there.
Don't get me wrong. She was an incredibly sweet, if a tad overzealous, woman. I just don't think I could be the dress-up doll for an older woman with empty nest syndrome. Plus, I really enjoy my privacy sometimes and I just don't feel like I could safely retreat to my room and be left alone. I could be wrong. Maybe it was the roommate opportunity of a lifetime, but I couldn't bring myself to accept her offer.
