My #1 cause of dysphoria is actually my voice, because no matter if I feel especially good one day, as soon as I open my mouth it's like stabbing myself in the chest.. This is the way it is, even if people tell me I don't even have a particularly feminine voice or way of talking. I find my voice extremely pathetic and I feel like an absolute failure of a guy who failed to go through puberty.

The even worse part is that I use my real voice when I'm thinking(unless I remember to mask it in my thoughts or borrow someone else's voice to think with). So I'm often extremely irritable.

So am I totally weird, or does anyone else here have this problem?

I have the exact same problem- both my inner voice and outer voice are a kind of high whiny pitch unless I'm thinking about it. It's annoying, but it's getting better now that I'm working on it.

The longer I've been on T, the lower my voice has gotten both inside my head and out so there is hope!

My mind-voice has always been masculine/low, which made me feel horrible whenever I actually opened my mouth and a feminine, high voice came out. It's part of what made me try to hide in seclusion for so long and I would never, ever use the telephone because of it unless I had no choice. When I did have to use the phone I would be depressed for days afterwards.

Now that I've been on T, my speaking voice has come to match the voice that's always been in my head and it's been amazing for me. I have no issues getting on the phone now, and between that and my body getting more masculine I no longer hide. There was a time when I wouldn't speak or see another person for days on end, and I'm glad that's all behind me now.

I don't have an "inner" voice. I think in abstract concepts.

Quote from: Miniar on February 02, 2011, 05:33:08 AM
I don't have an "inner" voice. I think in abstract concepts.

Seconded. I mostly think in pictures and abstractions that I then translate into words (if I want to speak).

My thoughts are text, occasionally read out loud by a male British narrator (think Stephen Fry). Occasionally, important parts become blue, like a hyperlink, and then link to another thought. My mind is like Wikipedia, sometimes. I also take things quite literally, which leads to funny mental images of certain expressions, idiomes, and such.

I think of my voice as deeper than it actually is.

My inner voice isn't really masculine or feminine.  It doesn't seem to have many phonetic properties.  It's more like a shadow of a voice.  A wraith.

I prefer to talk out loud when I think, anyway.  I think it runs in the family.  My mom has talked out loud to herself for a long time.  The funny thing is that my voice doesn't bother me when I talk to myself.  My voice only bothers me when I use it for socializing.

Quote from: M.Grimm on February 02, 2011, 01:02:45 AM
My mind-voice has always been masculine/low, which made me feel horrible whenever I actually opened my mouth and a feminine, high voice came out. It's part of what made me try to hide in seclusion for so long and I would never, ever use the telephone because of it unless I had no choice. When I did have to use the phone I would be depressed for days afterwards.

I'm the same way. When I think in my head, my voice sounds masculine so I think I have nothing to worry about. When I open my mouth to talk, it's like a contradiction. It surprises me how my voice sounds (though I've been told its not that feminine). It feels like its not me talking, that its somebody else. It feels weird because I know that's not my voice yet it still comes out. So I find reasons not to talk in public situations. Its hard to explain.

I have a lower voice, and it sounds masculine enough to me when I talk.  (Unfortunately, it sounds higher than that to other people.)  Anyways, I think in that voice.

Quote from: Miniar on February 02, 2011, 05:33:08 AM
I don't have an "inner" voice. I think in abstract concepts.

This.

I'm glad I'm not the only one, I always thought I was weird because I don't really have an internal monologue so to say.

Quote from: Brent123 on February 02, 2011, 11:35:57 AM
I'm the same way. When I think in my head, my voice sounds masculine so I think I have nothing to worry about. When I open my mouth to talk, it's like a contradiction. It surprises me how my voice sounds

Hm, even if I usually hear my female voice inside my head, I can sometimes get kinda shocked at what actually comes out when I speak, it's a very weird feeling. As if I forgot I had that voice.

I can't even immagine what it's like to be purely an abstract thinker, some things I just have to form into sentences or I can't hold the thought. I've got an abstract background - with constant blabbering on top, it's driving me nuts sometimes

My inner voice was always lower than my speaking voice. Now it pretty much matches, leaning a bit higher than it is in actuality. The difference is, my inner voice is further masculinised by the very flat intonation. I trained my speaking voice to make me sound more... uh... human? There are definitely times my inner voice slips higher, but even then it was always an unpleasant shock to hear my actual voice pre-T.

I don't  have an inner voice either..

The voice in my head doesn't have a sound. I can hear it in my head, it just doesn't sound like anything. I don't know how to explain it.

Quote from: Devyn on February 02, 2011, 06:47:14 PM
The voice in my head doesn't have a sound. I can hear it in my head, it just doesn't sound like anything. I don't know how to explain it.

yea im not sure how to explain it either.  like, i think in words, but it doesn't have a voice..

Quote from: Elijah on February 02, 2011, 07:28:03 PM
it doesn't have a voice..

You don't hear voices?  What's wrong with you?!

Voice is huge for my dysphoria too.  My inner voice is deeper than my outer voice.  Although I often think in written words.

Quote from: Elijah on February 02, 2011, 07:28:03 PM
yea im not sure how to explain it either.  like, i think in words, but it doesn't have a voice..

i'm with you guys on this one.. it's just like there.. i didn't even know people thought in voices 

I don't exactly think in a voice, but there is a way I've generally expected myself to sound...which had pretty much no basis in reality. I started t in December and voice has been the main change so far, but it's only just getting to the point where I expect it to be, so I've barely noticed while everyone else thinks it's really different.

I've always really hated my voice, though I think it has more to do with enunciation than pitch. There's just something really odd about it.