Hi,
Since figuring out that I am trans and have a dysphoria problem I have found some remarkable new information on reasons it follows us so much.
I am a new person here and have had GID or Gender Dysphoria for years and am going to solve the problem. At 59 I have figured out for myself a number of ways to get clear. I am concentrating right now on working out everything with a Gender Therapist here in Germany.
One thing I have found interesting is to acknowledge that Transsexuality and TG are real. They are different, in that the cause is not diffuse. However, I think to understand how to calm down from our triggers is a big skill. I get depressed everyday when shopping (huge trigger) or going out to lunch. Until I came out to myself as Trans I did not notice...I just got more distracted. The same would happen with Sex with a partner I love but my brain does not acknowledge. The personal acknowledgement seems to me the key differentiation between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Gender Dysphoria.
Here is an important quote I want to share:
http://www.salon.com/2015/02/07/chaos_of_the_human_brain_how_our_random_thoughts_inspire_genius_%E2%80%94%C2%A0and_self_destruction/"The obsessive thoughts of OCD are different to those that tend to dominate other types of mental anguish. Recurrent and distressing thoughts are not always an obsession – at least not in the clinical sense. We can find our minds dominated by exaggerated and distressing thoughts of whether our child will survive and flourish in the world, for instance, or crippling nerves before an exam or driving test, but thoughts like that are in step with the rules and rhythms of our life. We want our child to be happy. We want to pass. We can think and worry non-stop about whether we might lose our job, but only because we know we need the money it brings to feed and clothe our family, which we feel and instinctively sense is the right thing to do.
manwhocouldntstopThoughts like that are 'ego-syntonic'. They are in harmony with our drives and motivations. Ego-syntonic thoughts can make us unhappy, but when they do it is their contents and not the thoughts themselves that are the problem. We do not question why we have them. Indeed, sometimes we resent others who do not have ego-syntonic thoughts as acutely as we do. 'I can't believe you left this to the last minute.' 'It's only been a month. Of course I still miss him.'
Taken to extremes these types of ego-syntonic thoughts can cause mental disorder, usually anxiety. But at their heart most concerns of anxiety are rational. So, usually, are the dark thoughts of depression: endless rumination on external events, regret of decisions and how life has unfolded. Severe grief, hysteria even, is based on the rational sense of loss.
Unwanted and intrusive thoughts, the raw materials of obsession, are different. They are irrational. They strike a mental discord. They are 'ego-dystonic'. They clash with how we see ourselves, and how we want others to see us. Just to think these thoughts is enough to make us question who we are. We are not dishonest, yet we could snatch the money from that open till so easily. We do not want to be the dreadful person who could think such terrible and ridiculous things."
In 2009, Daniel Wegner wrote an article for the prestigious journal Science titled 'How to Think, Say, or Do Precisely the Worst Thing for Any Occasion'. What it pointed out is that if you try to not think of something you can't because because your brain keeps scanning for it. He used the idea of trying to ask people to not think of a white bear and they could not stop once they started. But the nature of OCD is random and GID/Gender Dysphoria is not.
The point is that if one has gender issues they can also develop personality overlays to act as a defense to block the internal true self and they push the false self outside the shell. But the shell gets broken from the inside by the repressed gender. The girl or the boy inside kicks the shell which is our outer projection of the self we are equipped with because the inner self knows better and does not accept the defense. We are caught in a paradox. The true self keeps kicking the shell of our self defense attempt until the false self dies.
Unlike a white bear fixation, we simply become what our brains have always been and the problem is then a strength. Instead of tuning out and going internally...we can turn that brain power on to what will give us life and even though there is a lot of icky stuff to grow through...brings us to a happier place.
Am I on the right track?
