Even when I was a kid and didn't know what being trans was, I didn't think I looked like a girl.  Even when naked I think I look like a guy with breasts and fat hips, like I'm a hermaphrodite or something.  I thought of myself as ugly and 'too masculine,' but the truth was I wanted to look that way...

Anyone else feel this way?

Quote from: perlita85 on February 04, 2011, 04:24:20 PM
When I am naked I see somebody I do not know in the mirror. However, I am dressed, then I see a woman

I feel the same, but let me rephrase, "when i am naked, i see somebody I do not know in the mirror.  However' when I am dressed i see myself, maybe a bit younger then I am, but I see a young man"

A very awkard and clumsy chubby guy. Who knows. Maybe it will change someday.

"A giant a$$ho1e from Moscow."

Oops, sorry, wrong movie.

I see this middle-aged man looking back at me. For years, it was a reflection that I didn't think much about, really. These days, it looks so ... unexpected. I expect to see a middle-aged woman, but this breastless fool is there instead.

I see a girl with a few flaws..

Just so it's clear, I'm not trying to brag about passing or anything.  I just don't feel like my reflection is someone I don't know, I know it's me but my brain can't seem to comprehend the female part.  I have to squint and force myself to see that my hips are actually part of my body.  It's weird and I don't know if I'm explaining it very well...

Quote from: Sylvester on February 04, 2011, 06:36:59 PM
Just so it's clear, I'm not trying to brag about passing or anything.  I just don't feel like my reflection is someone I don't know, I know it's me but my brain can't seem to comprehend the female part.  I have to squint and force myself to see that my hips are actually part of my body.  It's weird and I don't know if I'm explaining it very well...

I think I understand.

Biologically, anatomically, I'm male. But, I having trouble of late getting my head around that fact. I expect to see a reflection that is biologically and anatomically female. I'm not there yet, I just at the very beginning of my transition. But one day, there will be a woman in the mirror.

I see a woman who is dismayed by a particularly embarrassing birth defect

I see a guy.  Slightly feminine features, but still a confident guy. 

That is, unless I'm naked, then my mind just collapses and I'm so messed up.  I feel like a horrible freak of nature. 

Quote from: Sylvester on February 04, 2011, 04:16:32 PM
Even when I was a kid and didn't know what being trans was, I didn't think I looked like a girl.  Even when naked I think I look like a guy with breasts and fat hips, like I'm a hermaphrodite or something.  I thought of myself as ugly and 'too masculine,' but the truth was I wanted to look that way...

Anyone else feel this way?

I felt exactly this way. Funnily enough, now that I've accepted who I am and have taken steps to appear more masculine, I see my physical appearance as male less often. I sure don't see a girl but it's not explicitly male all the time either. Yesterday my dad had to refer to me as his daughter in a phone call and I literally couldn't make the personal connection to the names and pronouns. I've always felt stung by them, but I wore the badge reluctantly because I hadn't even learned about trans stuff yet. Now that I've gotten rid of those particular labels I just can't feel related to them anymore. I've just been surrounded by so many people who use the right name and pronouns, it's made dysphoria a lot quieter.

I still see this guy in the mirror who isn't me.
But every once in a while, out of the corner of my eye, when I'm passing a mirror, I do see me.
The women that I am inside , but when I stop and look she vanishes.
But I do have hope that one day she/me will be all it see in the mirror.
For now I do not like mirrors.
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on February 04, 2011, 11:31:56 PM
I still see this guy in the mirror who isn't me.
But every once in a while, out of the corner of my eye, when I'm passing a mirror, I do see me.
The women that I am inside , but when I stop and look she vanishes.
But I do have hope that one day she/me will be all it see in the mirror.
For now I do not like mirrors.
Jillieann

This is very close to how it is for me.

When I'm undressed, I consider myself kind of hot, but I have learned to disassociate myself pretty well from my body/hide myself from myself in mirrors for my own sanity.

However, when I'm dressed as my usual male self, I feel so in tune with myself that I become extremely confident and outgoing (the exact opposite of me when I'm in girl attire unless I'm doing it for fun or I've become desensitized to an extent to the clothes). I kind of can't look away when I feel totally in tune with myself in a mirror, actually.

I used to hate mirrors even more than now because I had an image of myself in my head, and looking at myself in the mirror would always crush it fully (plus, the snide comments about my face and acne didn't help my fear of mirrors during that time).

I hate mirrors and I avoid them as much as possible, especially if I'm naked. Then what I see doesn't connect with what I feel. Its like I'm not looking at myself, but a stranger.

Now that I've cut my hair, I see more of a man when I'm clothed. For the first time, I'm seeing a man and I love it. Of course that makes me feel worse when other people don't see it.. Oh well. Good with the bad.

Brent; You look like a pretty run-of-the-mill guy to me. Certainly wouldn't have you clocked as FtM if your avatar is anything to go by.

When I look in the mirror (Which I never do), I see someone that needs direction and help becoming herself.

I see a girl...though ocassionally the ghost of my identical twin brother comes back to haunt me.

Quote from: Lairiana on February 05, 2011, 02:26:39 PM
Brent; You look like a pretty run-of-the-mill guy to me. Certainly wouldn't have you clocked as FtM if your avatar is anything to go by.

Thanks that really means a lot. Especially sense its still hard to see myself as a man. That picture was a turning point for me. It was the first time I saw myself as the person I felt I was; a man.

If it helps, you remind me of me! If you grow your hair a bit more you could 'rock the Neil Gaiman look'

Quote from: Lairiana on February 05, 2011, 04:26:20 PM
If it helps, you remind me of me! If you grow your hair a bit more you could 'rock the Neil Gaiman look'

My hair used to look similar to that but it gave me the worse bouts of dysphoria. I don't know why. I saw female and I hated that so I chopped it off.

When undressed, I see a hybrid - too male to be a woman's body, too female to be a man's, with a horrible tumor of the crotch. Essentially, an androgyne who wants to be a woman.

When dressed, I sometimes see a guy, and sometimes a gal. The guy looks repulsive, and the gal is actually kinda cute.

As a teen, I used to think that my body looked like a girl's body with male genitals grafted on, and used to think it was a shame this body was wasted on a guy. Now, I just hope HRT will widen my hips so I end up looking proportional.