I had a therapy session today, I go every other Saturday for two hours and I've been going on this schedule for over two years not including my monthly visits to my psychologist.  I mention this because I was pretty sure up until today that I had resolved most every issue I had lurking in relation to this overly Girly me in this overly masculine body.  We were talking about surgery options and doctors and then she said it.  I have a client who has recently undergone surgery and who has offered to talk with you regarding the Montreal clinic.  She said the name, and it was a friend from long long ago.  A friend who I had eventually (right or wrong) considered toxic and so had distanced myself from.  It was very strange the reaction it triggered inside me, part anger but a lot of confusion and sadness.  I sat there at the end of my session literally with my head in my hands and my therapist saying "ok breath Kyndra, is there anything you need" I told Her I needed another hour but I knew her next client had already arrived.  So we had the traditional end of session hug and I headed out the door.  I got in my car and drove to a nearby Burger King to take my pills, mostly vitamins and other supplements along with a dose of Progesterone that I was a few hours late taking.  I got the pills in me and one bite of hamburger and then broke down crying for a half an hour.  Now I know I am more emotional around the beginning of every month but there is a whole lot more to it then that based on what I was feeling.  I don't know why I'm sharing this with you all, I don't have anyone else to tell who might remotely understand I guess.  Heck I don't even understand right now.  But I know I have another knotted ball of yarn to untangle that I had forgotten I had put in that closet so long ago.  I wonder what I will find as I embark on yet one more discovery mission inside the mind of me :-)

Oh well, at least it's not a rescue mission :-)

Oh, and yes, once I figure out my issues with all this I fully intend to call her.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Kyndra
XXOO

Ugh - never a fun situation to be in. Can you write your therapist an e-mail or something letting her know how you feel about this all? You don't have to see this friend - that's your right.

I kinda had a similar experience to this: A couple years ago I became really good friends with a girl who lived in a neighboring hall at my college. Things were great for a few months, and it almost evolved into a semi-relationship-thing, but then things started to get weird. She had some serious issues, and I eventually one-sidedly broke off our friendship, with it culminating one night being at a restaurant in a group of friends and me nearly shouting "get away from me". Next day, she's dating my roommate - whatever, as long as they aren't at my apt. Next year, im going with a group of friends to a halloween party, and guess who is (unbeknownst to me) hosting the party... And she was (is) still dating my (now former) roommate.

That's the weirdest, most awkward, absolutely sickening feeling. I feel for you. Just remember, you can always decline to go. I don't think your therapist would want to put you into a situation that would make you upset.