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For those who live in a place where you can't change your license...

Started by xAndrewx, February 07, 2011, 11:02:19 AM

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xAndrewx

and live full time how hard has it been for you? Me and my mom are still looking at places to move and she got me very interested in a city that is incredible with an equestrian college. A degree I've been interested in since I was 8 but always thought would be impossible. The downside? I can't change my gender without a changed birth certificate and I was born in a state that doesn't allow change without SRS which I will not get. I feel like this would be worth it. This place is a smaller but very diverse city. Opinions, experiences? Thanks :)

Robert Scott

You can get your birth certificate changed...what state is it that you were born? There is even a way in Texas which has the strictest laws against transgender.

My youngest daughter interested in an equine program ...she attended Stephens College (it's all girls) --- private schools offer far more financial assistance -- both my kids got grants that made it affordable to send them to school at private schools and a way lot less than public
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xAndrewx

Thanks Rob, I did look into it a little bit from what you had told me before. I was born in Virginia and I know you had mentioned it might be possible but I guess I'm just asking on the off chance that I can't get them to change it. I have a job now though and am going to be getting my name change papers in the next month and will hopefully be able to figure out how to request the judge order a request for change of my birth certificate like you had told me

Brent123

Quote from: Andrew Scott on February 07, 2011, 11:11:47 AM
Thanks Rob, I did look into it a little bit from what you had told me before. I was born in Virginia and I know you had mentioned it might be possible but I guess I'm just asking on the off chance that I can't get them to change it. I have a job now though and am going to be getting my name change papers in the next month and will hopefully be able to figure out how to request the judge order a request for change of my birth certificate like you had told me
I live in Virginia now. Born and raised here. So I can't get my birth certificate changed without SRS? That kinda blows.
Every day brings me one step closer to being myself.
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Robert Scott

Virginia Birth Certificate Law: Gender Identity Issues
Issues a new or amended birth certificate? Yes.
Virginia will issue a new birth certificate upon presentation of "acceptable evidence," including a physician's affidavit.

Citation: 12 VA. ADMIN. CODE ch. 5-550§320.


This is what it says....which is common for most states .... depending on the judge it can be read many different ways.  I know in MN ...an ftm can get their certificate changed with just taking T and there be some changes - facial hair growth - lower voice b/c these changes cannot be reversed they are considered perment physical changes thus the necessairy physical changes for a birth certificate change.  Most doctors here will write the letter and state for the personal safety as well the documentation must be changed.  It works.  I would talk with your local GLBT organization they could point you in the right direction.

That being said I do know some transgender folks who never get their birth certificate change but change their driver's license.  They keep their birth certificate the same so they don't invalidate any marriages or mess with inhertiance rights of their children.
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Logan1986

As far as the license change goes I know it's something most of us aspire to and that I got mine done as soon as I could but it's not always necessary.
My best friend is trans and has a full beard. If I didn't know him I would bet money that he was a bioguy. He hasn't had an surgery and therefore hasn't changed his license over. We go out drinking a lot in a lot of different places and not ONCE has anyone noticed the F on his license or said anything about it. He obviously had to tell his boss when he started working, but other than the boss no one at his work knows.
I understand wanting to get it changed and how good it feels when you do get it done but sometimes I think we as trans people pay more attention to it than anyone else.
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Radar

When you talk of moving do you mean to a different state from where you live now? If you can get the gender changed on your DL where you live now then that will transfer over to a new DL in a different state.
"In this one of many possible worlds, all for the best, or some bizarre test?
It is what it is—and whatever.
Time is still the infinite jest."
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Brent123

Quote from: Logan1986 on February 07, 2011, 12:57:32 PM
As far as the license change goes I know it's something most of us aspire to and that I got mine done as soon as I could but it's not always necessary.
My best friend is trans and has a full beard. If I didn't know him I would bet money that he was a bioguy. He hasn't had an surgery and therefore hasn't changed his license over. We go out drinking a lot in a lot of different places and not ONCE has anyone noticed the F on his license or said anything about it. He obviously had to tell his boss when he started working, but other than the boss no one at his work knows.
I understand wanting to get it changed and how good it feels when you do get it done but sometimes I think we as trans people pay more attention to it than anyone else.
Thinking about that, its actually pretty true. I used to work at a grocery store and I never saw the F or M on drivers licenses when I had to check for alcohol. All I noticed was the picture and the name. If both looked like they matched, then I didn't notice anything.

There was this one person though I could have sworn was a bio guy. I'm not sure if the person was trans or not but the name on the id was female so of course I noticed. I'd say you would have no problem if the id reflected your name change and a current picture though.
Every day brings me one step closer to being myself.
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Autumn

For various reasons, I've been FT for over a year and haven't processed legal name change yet.

The only real problem is doctor's offices who dont give a ->-bleeped-<- enough to use the name I tell them to call me by. Random embarrassments are things like getting carded for stepping into the books section at an adult store while browsing with a friend, or accidentally using one of the credit cards I have with my male name on it (I got one issued in my female name just by filling out a request online.) Downtown, apparently, most places card you on purchases, but they actually *can't* do that if it's signed and isn't otherwise suspicious. I'd honestly just call VISA right from inside the establishment if any place actually refused to bend when I pointed out the requirements to them. In the suburbs, it never really happens.

I also live in Texas.

I also completely avoid non-gay bars and basically never order alcohol when I'm out, don't buy cigarettes (but I don't smoke usually, anyway), etc etc. I feel like a second class citizen, but it's hardly impossible.

I actually feel worse about the idea of female name + male on the license, than my current license. Just feels like a pariah brand. Then again, I have a fairly recent female picture on my license so *shrug* But a passable picture + gender accurate name, and most people will never even think to look at the gender marker. I kinda figure I'll spill some coffee on the card to try to stain over it when I file for name change next month or so.
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K8

I changed my name on my license, but it had to have an 'M' on it until I had surgery.  No one seemed to notice or, if they did, care.

I was stopped for speeding after going fulltime but before my name-change came through.  I was wearing a skirt and heels and breastforms since I hadn't grown my own yet, but the picture on my license showed me with a full beard.  The officer never indicated in any way that it was a problem.  I also had a credit card with my new name but had to show my old DL several times when using it.  I just explained that I was in transition and hadn't been able to change my name on my license yet.  The clerks were cool with it, as was I.  (These were regular shops, not necessarily gay-friendly.)  In my experience, if you are confident (but not defensive) and act like it is no big deal, then more often than not it won't be a big deal.  Of course, YMMV.

Good luck.  Follow your dreams.

- Kate
Life is a pilgrimage.
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xAndrewx

Thanks for sharing your experiences everyone :)

Brent: I also checked ID's for people buying alcohol where I used to work and you're right, I never noticed a gender marker either.

Logan: I think you're right we pay more attention to it then anyone else it's just so easy to get caught up stressing about it.

Kate: Thanks :) I do tend to get defensive because it's just... I spent so much time getting the weird looks or nasty comments so I naturally am defensive with my attitude but it's something I will work on.

Thanks Rob and Radar: I never even thought about the fact that it would transfer. I'll have to see if I can call up a department of vital statistics and see what they say specifically about it.

Autumn: Thanks :)