Long story short, I come from a rather un open minded area. I long to live in a bigger more accepting place, but that is mearly a dream for now.

Having said that, here's what I'm wondering about and not really sure how to best word it.

If I were to start hormone replacement therapy, how long realistically would I be able to work at the same location, without people beginning to notice? I'm 31, 32 in November if that makes much of a difference.

My current occupation (grocery store night supervisor) is very public obviously and my store manager is not the most open minded type and fairly confident she wouldn't support this sort of thing.

I'm at the earliest of stages, having gone to exactly one therapy session, not even sure my current therapist can write a letter of recommendation, because unless I'm mistaken (and feel free to correct me if I am) a therapist has to be at The PHD level to do so.. and while I love my therapist, she's very easy to talk to, understanding and the only one within a reasonable radius that has any experience whatsoever with trans issues... she's only at The Masters level.

Having said that if I'm indeed right, following my next therapy session prepared to thank my therapist for everything.. because she truly is wonderful and finding someone, even if it's an online therapist via skype that will allow me to ultimately begin HRT.

Just scared I guess, maybe I don't yet want it 'enough' to set those fears aside, maybe I'm worried about ultimately having no source of income to speak of and living on the streets.

Sorry for being long winded, but I'm just confused... saw a trans girl on youtube that remained *male* in public for a full 11 months following the start of hormones. Is this realistic in most cases?

Believe me I want to be my true self, but in the end have to make a living. How likely would I be upon the start of hormones, to 'hide' things while at work for an extended period?

I'm thinking would ultimately like to be able to hide things at work for a good four to five months at a minimum.... hopefully that would be enough time for me to figure things out and find a more trans friendly occupation of some sort.

Your therapist should be able to give you a letter. An SRS letter is the only one that has that kind of restriction (two letters, one from a PhD).

One thing that has worked well for me that you might want to try is to get a black sweatshirt jacket, even better if it has your company logo. Throw that over whatever, and most times they wont care. In fact, I think it looks pretty sleek. Our employer requires a button-up shirt and pants with a belt, but throwing a black sweatshirt jacket over my dress shirt has always worked great.

The thing is that the parent company (Kroger) has a very strict dress code, especially for people in my position.

White button down shirt.. black slacks and a vest... color differs depending on division, where I work it's a black vest.

Leaves little options in terms of hiding things like breast growth. Knowing my company like I do, they wouldn't allow me to wear anything else.

On a more positive note, glad to hear that my therapist will likely be able to write a letter.

I think what it boils down to, is that I may need to face my occupation fears head on.

I've been wanting to start an online business for years, maybe this can motivate me enough to do that and try to make it work.

In a lot of ways the realization that each therapy session brings me closer brings a lot of joy, though also brings a lot of fear.

My advice to you is to just play it off as if you dont know what "changes" people are talking about if they asked you. It worked for this 7 month pregnant teen lol at my school. Everyone was asking her sister and her was she pregnant and they said no for the longest. No one can see inside your body!

Tiff:

The most radical changes, such as breast growth, take quite a bit of time (years) to become become too obvious to hide.  But your nipples will become swollen and very sensitive in just a few weeks.  If needed to you could wear a binder under your shirt to hide them if necessary.

Other subtle changes will occur sooner.  Your body hair will be come finer and fall out.  Your skin will be come softer and fairer.  And also you will be much more emotional.  Also, fat and muscle changes will start to occur after a few months.

You could safely hide the physical changes for a year or more.

Also, your therapist can write a letter of recommendation for your endo to start HRT.  And she would be able to write one of your two letters for SRS.

It's good for you to start planning now for your future as there are some pretty big changes in store.  You could also investigate what Kroger's LGBT group is like.  It looks like the LGBT group is called Alliance.

According to HRC, they have a rating of 75% out of 100% possible.  From the looks of it, they have an LGBT presence and a fair commitment to LGB employees, though no required diversity training for employees or management.  Also they have no specific transgender benefits, but have parity with same sex partners in all other health management resources.

It may be that they don't have any transgender benefits because they have not had any transgender employees.  Or so they think.

They do have an LGBT corporate non-discrimination clause in their corporate guidelines, so at least officially, they do not practice open discrimination.  However that is little comfort if you get laid off because of other reasons.

Here is the link to the HRC page for Krogers CEI:
http://www.hrc.org/issues/workplace/organization_profile.asp?organization_id=1465&search_id=1&search_type=Quick

Best of luck!

-Sandy

Thanks to you both, made me feel a lot better about things.

Especially the part about being able to hide the physical changes for a year or more, might have to for awhile (although hopefully not an entire year.. will do so if necessary though)

Thanks for the link and the information about Kroger's policy and GLBT group.

Going to go grab a bite to eat, but will dive into all of it upon getting back home.

Thanks again!

Quote from: tiffany_marie on February 06, 2011, 11:04:45 PM
The thing is that the parent company (Kroger) has a very strict dress code, especially for people in my position.

White button down shirt.. black slacks and a vest... color differs depending on division, where I work it's a black vest.

Vests give you plenty to coverup with.  Just make sure it is pretty loose.  With a good undershirt and a loose shirt and vest you should be able to hide your twins for a while.

hey you could get away with anything pretty much depending on what your doing who is work to question?

Even if they notice you growing breasts they can't exactly tell you to bind them up if your wearing the uniform. if anyone is crass enough to ask simply look offended and make a personal remark about them too. Seriously just refer to them as Pecs

It's if you start doing other things pepole are gonna go !!OMG!! and then confront you however working on your voice perhaps growing your hair out if you start dressing as a female or such your gonna get a whole load of attention.

I'm 29, about 7 months into hormones, and also live and work in an environment not very friendly towards diversity. (I live in a small Texas town and work in a factory.) I've done well so far simply wearing a compression tank to conceal my growing breasts. As far as everything else:

1) When people notice I'm looking fairer in the face or thinner in other places due to skin softening and fat redistribution, I just say I'm taking better care of myself.

2)When people notice I'm looking a little bigger in some places, like my chest since even when compressed the breast buds are resilient enough to not flatten entirely (the compression shirt really helps with keeping the coning down, though), I just say I'm taking a necessary medication which is messing with my metabolism (which is techincally true on both counts ).

3) When people ask me about my hair, specifically why I'm growing it out, I just say I'm almost 30 and I'm tired of being afraid to do what I want when it comes to my appearance (also technically true).

I'm really lucky, though, in that my coworkers give me a wide berth anyway since I don't have much in common with them. And even though I'm sure some of them are talking about me behind my back, so far none of them have felt confident enough (or seem to care enough) to say anything directly to me.

Wear a tight cotton undershirt over a loose dress shirt and nobody will see anything boob related.

We pretty much beat this to death a couple months ago:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,65012.0.html

One of my best friends is a hiring manager with Kroger. He actually said that if I needed a job that the company was pretty good with LGBT people.

The thing is: full disclosure. You have to tell them if you plan to express any part of your femininity. They can't tell women to stop having boobs or to go and cut their hair.

Quote from: MarinaM on February 08, 2011, 11:31:38 PM
One of my best friends is a hiring manager with Kroger. He actually said that if I needed a job that the company was pretty good with LGBT people.

The thing is: full disclosure. You have to tell them if you plan to express any part of your femininity. They can't tell women to stop having boobs or to go and cut their hair.

I was actually aware of Kroger having a good reputation in terms of The LGB part of the equation, wasn't as sure about the trans thing.

Honestly my biggest concern isn't the company itself, it's simply where I'm located at (middle of the bible belt) and the fact that our store manager is both

A: not very openminded
and
B: doesn't see eye to eye with me on very much.

Would she fire me for transitioning? Likely not... could see the union getting all over her for that and maybe even the company itself if I were to take things far enough up the ladder.

Doesn't mean she wouldn't fire me for some other random thing she came up, while it really being because of the transition.

Thanks for the replies everyone, my apologies Virginia as I wasn't aware about this sort of thing being discussed so much already.

I think I'm going to discuss this concern at my next therapy session a week from Wednesday, as I feel it's the only real hurdle I need to get over and the only thing that still really scares me.

You are very welcome, tiffany_marie, and if any apologies are necessary, they are probably by me. Nothing is new under the sun and there is a huuuge brain trust of information in the forum archive. I tend to get my panties (needlessly) in a bunch when folks don't exhaust that first before posting. And I do apologize for that.