I am not sure how to best phrase this, so I will just be blunt.



Let's say you are in public and you think some guy is talking crap about you to his friend. 
You feel like this situation could easily turn ugly.

What are things you can do to manage your safety?
How would you play it out if he confronted you?

And when you get home, how do you stop shaking and lose that sick feeling in your stomach...

Quote from: bearded on December 30, 2010, 04:50:33 PM
I am not sure how to best phrase this, so I will just be blunt.



Let's say you are in public and you think some guy is talking crap about you to his friend. 
You feel like this situation could easily turn ugly.

What are things you can do to manage your safety?
How would you play it out if he confronted you?

And when you get home, how do you stop shaking and lose that sick feeling in your stomach...

This has happened before in the past and the first thing I did was find a heavily populated store to walk into - the more people around, the more witnesses, the more protection.
When they followed and confronted me, I reflexively fell back on humour and managed to (just barely) diffuse the situation.
Another time I wasn't so lucky and ended up in the back of an ambulance. I didn't shake the sick feeling and the feeling of nakedness for a couple of weeks. The scar on my leg still hasn't faded.
Stay safe, stay sober. Alcohol is your biggest enemy in situations like this.

I'm really scared.     I don't want some mean guys coming after me, but I don't want to have to go out with someone every time I want to get a coffee or snack.  I know a little self-defense, but I'm not strong!  I'm really going to have to build up my self-confidence and not let the fear RULE my life.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I have never faced this situation.  But Vexing has it best head for a crowded store and if you can seek out security.  I have never been confronted, stared at a few times but never confronted.

I think about stuff like this alot. Situational awareness is key, and so simply by suspecting that something might happen gives you an advatage right there. If you feel uncomfortable around someone, leave as soon as you can. When you go someplace keep track of how you would get out (this is also useful for fire safety). Keep track of where other people are, especially groups of them, and whether they seem hostile or neutral. Obviously avoid hostile, neutral can be used for cover since most people are less likely to try something with other people they don't know around.

Also do things like parking near a light if you think it might get dark before you're done. I like to park a few spaces away from other cars if possible just to leave some open space to see what's around. Also, confidence can be a big factor too. I've heard it said that people are less likely to attack someone who appears confident than someone who appears fearful or distracted. I find that knowing what's going on around you and knowing what'd you do in a situation ahead of time provides alot of that confidence.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on December 30, 2010, 06:58:49 PM
Fortunately or unfortunately, I have never faced this situation.  But Vexing has it best head for a crowded store and if you can seek out security.  I have never been confronted, stared at a few times but never confronted.

Count your blessings, hon. 

Sure, I remember all that crap they taught us in the U.S. Marine Corps, it has been years, I'm longer strong and no longer young.  This very situation and wig hassles (along with economic meltdown during the holidays) are what forstall my going fulltime.  However, I'm seeing Reid in mid-March to get a carry letter, document my starting RLE/RLT and qualifying for SRS/GRS. 

My "androgyne scene" causes a stir in public.  Fortunately, it's not been a hassle but nearly was a time or two.  Again, you've been lucky, Babes!

Hugs!

   Lacey Lynne

I have only ever been confronted by women. I always go someplace very public. The men who notice don't really do or say anything.
Besides: --I carry a knife for protection--

I have never been approached in a hostile manner, but I have been yelled at about which bathroom I plan to use from across the store. I just duck my head and go away.

If I was ever confronted I would just smile and walk away again. There is no obligation for me to be their entertainment.

I posted in "supermarket experience" that exact sort of encounter. I walked away. He was way bigger than me and what could I have done. If I was a guy, there is no way I could have taken him on.

Very few people understand violence. People who randomly want to be rude and violent are very unpredictable. They should only be engaged by people who know what they are doing and in force. If you see how many police it takes to arrest and aggressive drugged/drunk person you realise that if you are alone, no way could you.

As a woman I feel no problems in walking away and hoping they don't follow, but in a public place asking for help. As guy that might be more difficult, but there is nothing unmanly from walking away from a confrontation.  You never will know what you are up against, I do not mean this rudely, it is unlikely that most FtM will ever build the muscle mass that GM's have, particularly if they have been working out from teen years.

In my late teens early 20s, I had a 1st Dan  in karate. I was very good. I had few fears. I was still underweight for big open fights but it was a brave person who walked into the ring, I was very fast.  I loved free fighting and as a light weight I had a rank.

These where the days when the girl was still trying to be boy . I went to  pub with friends. I went to the toilet, a big guy from another group followed  me and he must have needed to make his flags, so he went for me. He lasted two heartbeats. I smashed his face on the sink taps, he never had a chance to use his physical advantages. But it was a time I was top of my game.  As soon as he attacked me he was doomed, at that time in my life few people could stand against me, unless I gave them time. But I was still a 5' 8'' little guy. I still sort of regret it.  I was angry and had some drinks, there was not a lot of his face left after. I walked out and his table looked around expecting to see a happy big ****, I walked up and told then to call an Ambulance as their friend had slipped and fell.

As it happened I left the country a few months after.

So where does this dribble fall in your post?

You never know who you are going to meet.
You don't have a chance against more than one
People  who like violence practice. You don't
Nice people don't win.

If people are getting nasty, get out of there.

If you are going to do something do it very quickly; asking a thug time to get the Mace out doesn't work.

Cindy

People who like violence practice. You don't

A thousand times this.  And a once a week class in self-defense is not practice.