Or how close were you if she's no longer around?
I am very close to my mother. Sometimes I wonder if that's a good thing. I mean, she knows everything about me. Including all the sordid details. Some of which she knows because she was there and others I just ended up telling her for some ungodly reason. She knows a good number of my sexual exploits (not the play by play). She knows a good bit of my hopes and dreams. She's privy to most of my plans. Sometimes I feel weird and tell her I feel bad that I tell her everything! And my transitioning has only seemed to heighten the closeness because now she understands me and my actions a lot better. But she knows some of the uglier sides to me and I feel bad about that. 

How well should a mother know her son?

My mother was the one who did not tolerate any gender variance in me when I was a kid. She put me in the box so to speak. Worse, I'm the youngest so I'll never grow up in her eye, I'm her 43 year old baby. I visit her a few times a year but generally don't talk to her. I love my mother and worry about her but if I don't have to see her I won't.

My Mom is gone now.  And I miss her.  I think she knew something was up, because she always seem to treat me more like a daughter.

I have even been told I now look like her.  And that is strange because I was adopted.  But they do say that if you spent enough time with someone you will begin to look like them.

My mother, when I was real young was my best and only friend. She and I spent a lot of time together. After first grade we started to spend less time with each other and after third grade (during the time my parents started to work on their eventual divorce) she had closed herself completely off to me. It felt like she didn't want to be too close to me. I think she knew that she wouldn't get custody after the separation.

We've had a rough relationship after the separation, mostly during times when I would stay at her house for anything longer then over night. Over the last 15 years I've lived more than an hour drive from her and we don't spend much time on the phone. When we do talk the quality of our conversations are far better than they've been in a long time, but we need to take breaks from each other in order to have the desire to converse in a civil manor.

As mothers do, she constantly professes her love for me has said time and time again that she shouldn't have left us kids with our father after the separation and regrets ever closing herself off to me. And as any good son should do, I have forgiven her for all of the frustrations she has put me through while growing up.

But I still can't have the conversation with her telling her how I feel about myself.

I think it would break her heart to hear it and wonder if she should have seen the signs sooner.

I loved my mum. Sadly, for her, she was unable to show or give any affection. It made her incredably lonely and isolated.

She viewed any show of affection, even when she saw it, as distasteful. Though she tried very hard to pretend not to notice.

When she was older and living alone, I pestered the authorities to give her a sheltered flat, in a small area that was dedicated for older people. They had a warden on duty at all times and a community centre. She busied herself growing pot plants for the centre. But most of all, she found herself. Her last 4 years, she was relaxed, feeling more confident and didn't feel she needed to prove anything to anyone. She was very cold though, but that is what she always had been, Having children was a mistake for her.

My mom is my best friend. I don't know how in hell I would cope without her. Not just with trans stuff. With everything.

I guess i could get out the tape measure but i would say about 5 ft. 

I must be close because when she messes herself i clean her up.. thankfully thats not too often unless i give her too much prunes.  hey she cleaned me

Yes i am her caregiver she is 88 and is almost like a child again. My siblings are very very happy someone in the family is doing it because they all have full lives..

She does do crosswords and likes to play with the kitty and a yardstick with a string and stick tied to it.

I had been doing some sort of help for her for 4 yrs now but i did have a break for 1 yr. However, now we are out in the country away from my siblings and living in my old mountain home near amish and farms and nature which we both love.

Yea i love her and well she was a head chemist of her hospital for 34 yrs and graduated in 1945 at an all womans college in Phila for chemistry which was all during the war years. She surely was ahead of her times.

but i would love a friend to move in here and share my farm and give me a break once in a while.

edited to add:  My mom knew all about my sexual / gender issues too ( i spent 4 months as a 12 yr old in a mental hospital for wearing womens clothes) and she never gave up on me when times were tough. She worked until she was 72 and then volunteered until 5 yrs ago and lost her drivers liscense about 13 months ago due to her kidney failing and her getting delierious and well she also went thru a divorce when i was 12 and she never dated again and has always been kind and giving to her 7 children who are all doing well. I am the middle child of 7 and of 11 due to miscarriages of two hermaphrodites twins and two others. Yes mom deserves anything she wants and i make sure i keep her butt clean and her clothes clean and she is warm at night even here with the wood stove which is actually warmer than her condo she has which sits empty but will soon be rented. I did run away at 13 to give her a break because she still had my 3 younger sisters to raise with dad gone.

We were very close, and we are incredibly alike, more so as I get older. I am now sadly coming to understand some aspects of her that I missed completely when she was alive.

My mother really understood my condition and paid for all my treatment.

My relationship with my mom is quite strange. I would say I am closer to her than my father only because I live with her, know her habits a bit more and also I have grown up being closer to my mom's side of the family a lot more than I am with my father's side. We don't get a long very well though; she's always trying to be happy go lucky yet I find it a bit childish of her so I get really serious.

I guess we don't get along very well not because I am her son but also because I'm very independent and my mom wants me to be dependent on her. Which is nice sometimes, however because I am the man of the house, I feel more like I have to take care of her and my younger sister than she does of me. My father even asked me to do this before a long time ago.

My mom and I fight/argue a lot over things however I wouldn't trade her for the world. I wish she would loosen up a bit though, sometimes. Overall she's very loving and have been pretty supportive of the choices I have made in life. (I would never tell her this to her face though, unfortunately)

My mom and I used to be pretty close, speaking at least twice a month, with me visiting her about every 6-8 weeks. She seemed very loving and interested in me up until I transitioned. Right about that same time, she fell into a debilitating depressive condition. I'm sure my gender issues played some part in it, but much of it was her inability to accept her aging.

Thankfully, she has at least partially recovered from the deepest part of her depression due to medications and therapy. Sadly, however, she still refuses to grapple with my "new" gender. It's been three long years since I've seen or have spoken to her. This has not been my choice. She's only this year sent a birthday and Christmas card.

Looking back now, I can see where she had very binary thinking when it came to gender expression. I also realize that she was always very socially conscious of other people's opinions of her. She once asked me, "what will your neighbors think?" She saw their opinion as more important than my mental health. Of course, I'm sure she must just see this as a ridiculous late lifestyle decision. I'm not sure.

Still, I hold out hope that we will someday reconcile. I only hope that it's not too late, being that she and my father are getting up there in age. 

I'm raised by my grandparents, but I'm close to my bio mom too.

My mom is more liberal and easy to talk to about stuff then my grandparents. She's one of those "express yourself" type parents.

My mom and i are very close. I am the live in primary live in caregiver. She still can do some things for herself but she does not drive anymore and only does the laundry,cooking and dishes now. She can't bend down to much so i do most of the rest of the house work and some of the outside work. It's worked out well as neither one of us can really afford it by ourselves. We do get along fairly well but it's a little  disconcerting that we can finish each others sentences. We think wayyyyyy to much alike. 
Both of us are very much alike so it makes life a bit interesting 

Quote from: SarahM777 on February 13, 2011, 05:03:12 PM
My mom and i are very close. I am the live in primary live in caregiver. She still can do some things for herself but she does not drive anymore and only does the laundry,cooking and dishes now. She can't bend down to much so i do most of the rest of the house work and some of the outside work. It's worked out well as neither one of us can really afford it by ourselves. We do get along fairly well but it's a little  disconcerting that we can finish each others sentences. We think wayyyyyy to much alike. 
Both of us are very much alike so it makes life a bit interesting 

Thats sounds like my mom 4 to 5 yrs ago but now since my mom had a kidney failure in nov 2009 that made her lose a lot of her faculties.

Quote from: M2MtF2FtM on February 13, 2011, 05:13:54 PM
Thats sounds like my mom 4 to 5 yrs ago but now since my mom had a kidney failure in nov 2009 that made her lose a lot of her faculties.

Do you remember being a little kid and saying you were never going to be like your parents? I just had a scary thought I am becoming like my mom 

Suuuuper close! She has been my confidante and friend since I was young. She always encouraged me and was there to listen if I needed to talk.She has been very supportive of my transition and she was there when I had surgery, which meant the world to me I love her so much!

My mom and I aren't very close, despite living in the same house. She used to be like a friend to me when I was younger, but her business always kept her away from me a lot. 

Now in her life, she followed my great-grandfather and grandfather and has become extremely fundamentalist Christian. That has lead to some difficulties between us because she tries to force me to be as religious as she is. My mom is also pretty verbally hateful of my masculine appearance, and I can almost never tell her anything of my life because I know she'd instantly get angry or go into a lecture about how such-and-such is against her god's will.

She is able to get things done and stand up for people, which I admire, and she was able to life herself out of an extremely bad childhood, but I can't get close to her other than on so-called "neutral" subjects.

We used to be very close. Now Im almost never home and she always says that she misses me. I want to become closer again, because I feel bad. It just really aggrivates me because I had a talk with her before saying that I wanted to be a boy, and she just pretends like we never talked. I wish I could be more open with her.

Not very close. I spent years troubled by the thought I didn't love her. In my thirties I figured out that I do love her, I just don't like the woman. She is 79, I have no plans to tell her I crossdress, it would just be one more thing for her to criticize.

I've always been the duplicate of my mother having quite a likeness to her and also having a similar personality we are both good at hiding pain. we were pretty close especially compared to my sister who is my fathers duplicate. After I came out to her however she's been distant and gradually getting more so and dosen't want to talk to me.

She refuses to call me by my new name or use female pronouns in reference to me I only occasionally speak to her these days.

Very close. It started with me being autistic in my first years (later diagnosed with Asperger when I was 18), she was the only one who was there for me and she understood me when no one else did, so for many years she was my world. She knows way too much about me, but my GID? No. That part I left out, until I came out 8 months ago. Now she feels like she doesn't know me anymore. She's accepting, but she says she has to see me as a new person, which is sad.

I know what you mean though. I still tell her way too much stuff, feels like I probably shouldn't. Am I kind of troubling or weighing her down needlessly with everything I tell her? That's what I ask myself. I sometimes don't know what's appropriate and what isn't.
But then, she's gotten so used to me telling everything nowadays that if I seem to leave something out she insists to hear it anyway. Ah well