For the past week i have been dwelling on something that happened about 6 years ago. And as long as i continue to dwell on it,it will continue to hinder me. It's time to finally put the whole story down in black and white. Most of the people that are closest to me know most of it but not all of it. By no means does this mean it's the worst that could have happened to me or that others have not had it worse but it was the worst thing i went through.
It seems so surrealistic that at times i have a hard time believing that it really did. Anyways here goes
About 6 years ago my youngest sister was living in MO and she was having a hard time as her ex boy friend and her were both living there and her ex was trying to get placement of their daughter. She was flat broke and was looking to move out of the state. My folks sent her a bus ticket so her and her daughter could come up to WI to stay here for a bit so she could try to get things taken care of.
I did have very fond memories of my youngest sister as i am 14 years older and i helped take care of her and she was a really good kid,happy go lucky and just really sweet.
She got here and we starting talking and i came out to her and she was not only ok with it she also offered to help me with transitioning.
Her husband and son finally came up after about 2 weeks. Things seemed to be going ok,my sister and i were catching up on a long of lost time. (I hadn't seen her in 20 years) After about 2 weeks her husband walked out on her. At that time i was coming to the end of the job i was at as my shoulder was shot and i just couldn't do the job any more.  The part time business i had been working on for a while was starting to finally get off the ground but i needed some help as i had quite a bit of material to get listed. She started doing some piece work for me and seemed liked it was something she really liked doing. We started talking about it and between the 2 of us it looked like if both of us could work on it we could make a real go of it. The offer was made on the condition that the business would get off the ground and it could support both of us i was willing to make her a partner.
After a couple of months things started getting a bit tense with her and my folks. (A bit hard to keep 3 families under the same roof)
She ended up moving out and with one of my brothers. The distance was a bit long and she had no transportation at the time so it made it a bit hard to work on the business together. I had cleaned out m 401K at that time as there was a bit in there and it was going to be some cash to help tide me over till the business got going and start the transitioning. I ended up looking for a place where we would be able to live together and also big enough to have some office space. Finally found one and we ended up moving in together. Which was about Nov. Everything seemed to be going fairly well.
Right around Christmas all of a sudden her husband shows up and wants to get back together. He ends up living there also. In the mean time i am starting to wear more floral prints and was just starting to work on make up. But little warning signs were starting to creep in and i  missed them in some cases and others i just ignored. She was no longer working on the business and as she didn't have another job i was paying all the bills. About the beginning of March i finally had it and asked both her and her husband to start helping with the rent,heat and electric. That's when it all exploded. It was right before Easter and they started going off on me. They started on the finances,my clothes and just me. This lasted for about 3 days till the Sat before Easter. On that Sat they tried to get me commited in a mental institution,she tried to get me to sign off on all of my bank accounts,car and give up my drivers license. Her husband at some point during the day hit me so hard in the sturnam i was sore for 3 months. They ended up taking me to county and just dropped me off and they had a quick chat with the intake person. They left but the in take person didn't find any thing wrong. I got sent out to a shelter for the weekend and ended up by myself on Easter. Yippy.
On Monday i was finally able to get hold of my folks and they picked me up. The next day my father and one of my brothers went out to the place i had been at and they picked up most of my stuff. The following day my sister and her husband showed up with .... you guessed it all of my clothes and makeup kit. My father starts helping unload all the clothes and starts going balistic after he finds out that it's mine. He picked the make and slammed it into the trash can and started getting in me and in no uncertain terms he told me to get rid of everything else. And at this point with having no money,and being in quite a bit of debt and no job outside of the business which still hadn't gotten off the ground it didn't leave me much else to do as i at least had a roof over my head. I had looked over at my sister and her husband and it looked like they were getting some sort of joy out of what was happening.
Anyways by the time it was all said and dome i had gone through $25,000 in cash,was $15,000 in debt and she had taken close to $20,000 worth of inventory.
What i don't understand is how she could have done this. It happened it is what it is. I can't change it. It set me back quite a bit but i am ok.
I am sorry for the long post but i just needed to get it down so i can finally let it go.

Sarah

You must be feeling so hurt, to be treated in this way, by people you cared about.

There's no explaining why some people seem to feel ok with treating others like this.

I do know that some people seem to have the ability to be one person, for a long time, then turning and becoming something so horribly different.

Those that have a close family relationship and those that think they have, often find it so difficult to imagine how some families can be so cruel.

Thank you so much for sharing this. Take care love

Thanks Spacial,

The hardest part is that i feel like i was set up from the beginning and i did not see it. It wasn't till afterwards i had found out she is a pathological liar and had nearly ruined a therapists career. (She was really good at it) So i don't feel so bad about not missing it.
It's just a temporary set back. Everything can be replaced. And i am getting to the point that i can
It was a hard lesson but i finally learned how to set good boundaries and i also was able to start standing up for myself. So it wasn't all bad. I also found out a couple of things i really like about myself. I can't hate her and if she ever really had a very bad time i would still try to help but only very limited,but will i ever trust her again. I don't think so.
I am also finding out that when i start dwelling on things like this i start getting fearful and start questioning myself and if i can just talk it out a bit i find it no longer holds the fear for me any more. It's not to say that what i have gone through is any more or any less hard than anyone else. It's a just release for me which is a good thing. 
This morning after i had written this i actually had the confidence to do something that last week i so afraid of. I went and did my nails and put in my earrings this morning on purpose instead of just forgetting that i had done them the day before.
I know it's just a small little victory but it did feel good to be able to do so without the fear 

With love
Sarah

You may have been set up from the begining, but in my experience, psychopaths don't usually think that far ahead.

I suspect, you were being used, all along and when you were no longer of any use, you were dumped.

It may surprise you to learn that most psychopaths are not particularly intelegent. And at the risk of being lynched, psychopathy is more common in women than men.

Few countries now regard psychopathy as a mental illness, because it isn't. It's a personality type.

It also takes a number of forms. Broadly, it can be the destructive type or the manipulative type. Destructive psychopaths tend to destroy people's lives and generally end up making so many enemies. The manipulative type, as the title suggests, try to manipulate people.

Many people on the margins of society, other than through substance abuse, are psychopaths. Most Many politicians, most many successful business leaders, sales people, Drs, especially surgeons and most clergy, especially from the Abramatic religions are psychopaths.

The main characteristic is a lack of empathy. Female psychopaths will think nothing of using their charms, even on close relatives, to get what they want, then switch them off when they no longer need the person.

Those of us who have unfufilled emotional needs are particularly prey to psychopaths. We assume these can be satisfied. In reality these are emotional scars that we have to learn to live with. But when we lack experience, as you did with your sister and many have done, we mistakenly assume that it may be possible to have these scars soothed.

The rule must be, if someone seems too nice, then they probably are.

Edit. I wrote Most, that is an obvious mistake. My apologies.

You're a bigger person than myself...I'm not into hatchet burials. Not at all.

I'd at least have looked into a civil suit, criminal prosecution being harder. Admittedly, they won't have the money or property to pay you...but I think wages can be garnished against judgments in some states.

Then again, 20K is what I make in a year...if someone stole the equivalent of an entire year's wages from me, I'd go absolutely postal.

I'm a good person...but don't mistake that for being nice.

Wow Sarah... That is just way over the top messed up stuff!!! I don't know how some people can live with themselves

I doubt that I'd be able to deal with it as well as you have

Hugs

- Virginia

You should have buried her and her BF in lawsuits.

All you've done is let them get away with it to do it again.

I think you did the right thing by walking away and putting it down to experience.

Sorry to hear about this Sarah.

You certainly didn't deserve this.

 

Quote from: spacial on February 13, 2011, 07:58:54 PM
You may have been set up from the begining, but in my experience, psychopaths don't usually think that far ahead.

I suspect, you were being used, all along and when you were no longer of any use, you were dumped.

It may surprise you to learn that most psychopaths are not particularly intelegent. And at the risk of being lynched, psychopathy is more common in women than men.

Few countries now regard psychopathy as a mental illness, because it isn't. It's a personality type.

It also takes a number of forms. Broadly, it can be the destructive type or the manipulative type. Destructive psychopaths tend to destroy people's lives and generally end up making so many enemies. The manipulative type, as the title suggests, try to manipulate people.

Many people on the margins of society, other than through substance abuse, are psychopaths. Most Many politicians, most many successful business leaders, sales people, Drs, especially surgeons and most clergy, especially from the Abramatic religions are psychopaths.

The main characteristic is a lack of empathy. Female psychopaths will think nothing of using their charms, even on close relatives, to get what they want, then switch them off when they no longer need the person.

Those of us who have unfufilled emotional needs are particularly prey to psychopaths. We assume these can be satisfied. In reality these are emotional scars that we have to learn to live with. But when we lack experience, as you did with your sister and many have done, we mistakenly assume that it may be possible to have these scars soothed.

The rule must be, if someone seems too nice, then they probably are.

Edit. I wrote Most, that is an obvious mistake. My apologies.

I think you are right. It's something i have never thought of. I did find out later she has been doing this for a while. (Not quit as bad as this but.....)

Quote from: tekla on February 13, 2011, 08:38:17 PM
You should have buried her and her BF in lawsuits.

All you've done is let them get away with it to do it again.

A bit easier said then done. She's really good at finding cash only jobs,is fairly good at covering her tracks and going underground. And unfortunately the cost of any lawsuits and detective work would basically negate any gain as she doesn't have much as she dumps and runs. Kind of like a cicada she pops up from time to time and then goes back underground.
Although i do have some small consolation the one thing you do not want to do in WI is mess around with the revenue dept. Not to good,they have been known to get really nasty.


I do thank you all it was just something i needed to talk about instead of dwelling on it.