Hello everyone. This is my first post and I dont really know what to say. My boyfriend is in his 10th month (roughly) on T and I have been with him since he started. Funny thing is we've been dating since he got his first shot. Dating him has been an entire new thing to me. I've never known a trans guy or girl before and dating one is all new. I've had one mutual friend of ours to talk to because she's seen others go on T and seen their transition.

Basically I'm posting this to see if its normal for ftm's to not show their body at all (under clothes) to their fiance. He proposed last month and I plan on marrying him once I'm done with school. I've told him from the start that I love him for him and that I'm nothing but supportive of his transition. I just feel really frustrated knowing that he feels so uncomfortable around me during sex. He's hornier then any of my previous boyfriends, and I know that's from the T. Is this normal? or is there any way I could help make him feel more comfortable? any type of advice would help me greatly.

thanx

Welcome to the site, Inlove!

I am the SO of a MTF who hasn't yet begun his transition (and is unsure whether he is going to pursue transitioning at this point). Susan's is a wonderful  place, full of kind and loving people. The support here is unbelievable!

I can't really answer your question since I am not in a relationship with an FTM, but it doesn't sound like something that is too uncommon from some of the things I have read. I am sure that some of the guys will be around to throw in their two cents shortly.

Other than that, I look forward to reading more posts from you! Stick around, don't be shy, and again, welcome!

Hugs,
Jacquelyn

thanx jacquelyn. ya I'm hoping I can meet a few other people on here. My boyfriend doesn't know I'm on this site and I'm not sure if he'd be too happy about it. He doesn't like when people know about him.

Ah, the internet offers a veil of anonymity, so it's not like you are outing him. I have been trying to get my SO to join this site, he is on another one that isn't as active.

Hi InLove,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another SO.

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Hugs and Love,
Janet
   

Thanks Janet. I'm really glad I found this site. I've been searching for a while for places for SO's to talk and I finally found one.

Hi Inlove!

I'm also an SO to an FtM, and also pretty new here.

My partner never had bottom surgery. But I see his bottom parts as 100% "boy parts" because, well, they're on a boy. I think that has been important for him to perceive.

He does not hesitate to let me see him or touch him anywhere; although there *were* places that were off-limits (to touch) when we first started.

I almost hesitated to post, because your guy's feelings about himself are surely way more complex than "I hope my partner really sees me as a guy." But, I wanted to welcome you here too.

Elizabeth

I am the SO to an androgyn who is on T.
So I get some of the excessive horney around here also. My mate has been on T for the last year. The first few months of T and the horney was out of control but ze soon calmed down to a more respectable level of horney. (which is 24/7) lol
As for the body issues....That is very comon with transsexuals. Nothing to be too worried about here.

As for his comfort levels. Not pushing him would be paramount.

Welcome aboard.

Thanx everyone for your replies and don't worry, I'm not pushing him at all. I've reassured him many times that he is my man, nothing else. I was just curious as to if it was normal for him to really be...shy i guess is the word. I have a feeling ill be posting more things as time goes on and idk what to do haha...thanx again

Quote from: inlove@20 on February 16, 2011, 06:00:23 PM
Thanx everyone for your replies and don't worry, I'm not pushing him at all. I've reassured him many times that he is my man, nothing else. I was just curious as to if it was normal for him to really be...shy i guess is the word. I have a feeling ill be posting more things as time goes on and idk what to do haha...thanx again

I'm an SO - I'm male, married to a woman, so take this for what it's worth - I don't have direct experience.

I imagine he's probably shy because he's not fond of that part of his body - it likely doesn't fit with how he'd like to look, and likely doesn't think it's a sexy part of his body, among other things.  It also may be visible evidence of his struggle in life, which is painful, and certainly not a turn on for him to remember those struggles.

So I'm guessing it's fairly normal, although everyone is different - particularly in the bedroom!

I think all you can do is to go at his pace on this - knowing that he's probably been through a lot more than us SO's can possibly fully understand.  And don't get too concerned about it - it's not a sign of a lack of trust or anything like that.  You can create a safe environment for him to "let his guard down" but you can't set a time table on something like this.

Oh, and congratulations on being in love!  Isn't it fun? 

Hi and welcome,

It's good that you talk these things through. Open and honest communication is the key, and of course love! But it can be a rocky road and you have to keep your needs and desires out as well.  TG people can be seemingly quite selfish in going for transition, but it is a selfishness driven by the need to keep ourselves sane. The horror of being TG can be very daunting. So terrible that we will go through all sorts of procedures and life decisions that 'normal' people cannot understand.

Love and Hugs

Cindy

slanan yes love is fun.I really appreciate eveyone's answers. I have so many questions on advice because I really don't have anyone to ask.

Welcome to Susan's! I'm the SO to a FTM guy, very much in love, and moving in the right direction.

Like other people have said, it's important to just be open and talk about the things you two are concerned about. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, he's fully transitioned and has been for a while and was before we met, and he's still 'shy' in the bedroom, despite having surgery below the waist, so I think it's all going to depend on your guy and what he's comfortable with and the way it all makes him feel and what he wants to show. Even after all this time there are some things my BF isn't comfortable with. Patience is key.

Again, welcome to Susan's. It's a great place filled with people that are just full of warmth and great advice.
Best of luck, and enjoy being in love. It's the greatest feeling in the world.