I was scoping around Susan's and found a similar topic dating back to 2006. So I thought I'd start a new one.

I was wondering what everyone's view point on dating as a transexual? Have you found yourself dating more or less since you have started your transition? Are you more confident or less confident when it comes to dating now? Do you make sure your potential date knows that you're transitioning before hand or do you wait to get to know them better? Have you found potential romantic partners more accepting or less accepting when you have come out to them? How do you come out to a potential partner?

Overall, what are your view points on dating as a person in the process of transitioning?

I ask because I'm curious. At this point in my life I am very content with where I am. I do not care to find a girlfriend at this time nor am I the type that believes in finding love (I believe it's something that should just happen naturally). However, if the occasion does arise and I do find someone who's as equally attracted to me as I am to them, I'm not sure what I'd do. I believe that honesty is the best policy. If I choose to date someone, I believe that I'd come out to them before even dating them. I know there's a high chance of them not wanting to date me any more because of it, but I would feel like I'm lying to them if I didn't tell them straight up before we start dating. I'm not afraid of rejection, just afraid of hurting the person. -shrugs-

Well, since going FT, I went on one non relationship date with a crazy bitch who was angry my body didn't react like a teenage boy; she knew I was trans before she met me.

I'm in my second relationship post-FT. The first one started with a magical first date, where I got to feel fully accepted as a woman because I knew she didn't have any reason to see me as anything but. Best date of my life, honestly, and some very sweet snuggling/snogging afterwards. I came out to her during that (though my bare chest passed with her before I told her, teehee), and we dated for 5 months.

My current relationship is 3.5 months long and we knew each other as friends for a little bit first. I also came out to her as trans when we were friends, which floored her. She wasn't sure about dating a girl, but our chemistry was impossible to ignore and she's finally come to terms with liking girls as much or more than men (especially this girl, since I do for her what men never could )

I intended to wait a couple of dates before telling #1, because I wanted her to get to know me a little before judging me. But I didn't expect the feeling of connection I felt to her right away, and didn't want to be rejected in a week or two; I had rather been rejected then. I met #2 while still dating #1, and she said she was straight. We clicked insanely well as friends, and I came out to her because we were being so open about our lives and I did not want her to feel lied to.*

You'll probably find much more acceptance from women than from men, though really it can go either way. Sex is part of dating someone, and my sexuality is all screwed up ever since I finally stopped using my thingy. Plus, anatomy is also a part of it, and some people might not be able to get past that. I'm thankful mine has, and she's thankful that she's finally discovered how fun boobies are.

I would *hate* to go dating at random pre-op. It's hard enough being drunk at parties now that I'm attractive enough to draw male attention. Especially when you're half naked and whipping people.

Basically, I'd say that you have to be with an intelligent, introspective person who can explore their own self as you explore yours. My girlfriend and I have discovered so much buried in ourselves that we owe to each other; especially regarding bdsm, d/s. and just sexuality in general. One thing that I feel terribly guilty about is that there are many questions I won't know the answers to until SRS.

Also, lesbian relationships are like dog years. It's amazing how much communication and growth happens in a quick period for f/f, versus m/f relationships.


*That is the bigger issue, to me. When, if, to tell friends...

What Autumn said.

So far I've been transitioning for 6 years. My last relationship ended about 2 years ago. She knew I was a trans man, and I wasn't on hormones and didn't have any surgery at that time.

Three months ago I started my physical transition with hormones. Since my last relationship I have been looking around trying to find a date but I'm in a weird situation. I'm not read as male, and am often seen as a sort of masculine woman. I have approached people but because of all the assumptions people make about who I am, it gets awkward pretty quick. I'm on a few dating sites, one of which I use often. I've sent out maybe 400 or more messages, have a fairly detailed profile and everything. In the two years that I've been on there I've received maybe 5 responses and out of everything I got one friend.

Since I try to make it a point to get people to see me as who I am (a guy) and I'm not read as male it's necessary for me to sort of out myself early.

ugh dating!
I was in a long-term lesbian relationship (I ID as bi) which ended last year. She knew from basically day 1 that I was trans and would be medically transitioning one day (which I since have).

Dating seems really daunting at this point! I still ID as bi though I've become increasingly attracted to gay men and other FTMs (though there are no other FTMs that I know of in my city). I've been hit on by gay guys & while I'm  out to everyone I know as Trans, I'm pretty freaked out at the notion of telling a potential date ! Ack!

I wouldn't be opposed to dating somebody trans. Beautiful is beautiful to me regardless of gender. Plus I feel like there would be more understanding in the relationship. We would each understand each other's dysphoria and all that. So yeah, I wouldn't mind dating trans people at all.

But right now, I'm dating a girl that is a lesbian. I've come out to her and she's cool with it. She even calls me by male pronouns. I told her about my plans to transition further with testosterone and surgery. So far, she's accepting. I'm hoping that doesn't change once I start t. I'm terrified about dating after transition because of the fact that some people won't accept me for it.