February 16, 2011
posted by Sebastian

Trans Etiquette 101: No Offense, But That's Offensive

http://www.autostraddle.com/how-to-talk-to-a-transperson-76785/

A lot of non-transgender people have asked me what is and isn't appropriate to ask trans people. I think the relevancy test is a good place to start. As much as you might want to know when they started hormone replacement or how their parents are handling "it" or what kind of surgery they want to get, if the answer does not impact your relationship with them, don't ask the question. And to be honest, that means most questions are off limits in most every situation.

Here is the exception: if someone invites people to ask questions. I like to be as open about my transition and about trans issues as possible, because it is an opportunity to be an education resource for people who otherwise might not have one. It means you have to have a thick skin and I think it is completely acceptable to not be as open as I am. But there are plenty of trans people who are.

So let's say you are a non-trans person and you are with someone who is out about being trans and is knowingly open to questions. You have some things you want to ask. Here are some guidelines to follow.