hi, this is my first time posting

I came out to my aunt last night, and we were talking about the next steps, and she asked me if i wanted to have the full op, and if i liked guys or girls...   I said i wasnt sure to both of them, and she said if I wanted to have relationships with girls, i had to have bottom surgery, or I'd be a lesbian (i dont think she understands im really a boy).   but is this true? i want to be considered as straight if i like women, but now im confused :/

thanks
-Jay

That isn't true at all. If you see yourself as male then how can you be a lesbian?
Most guys don't get bottom surgery because they're not happy with the current options, it doesn't make them lesbians.
to be a lesbian you'd have to be female identified.
(You can get prosthetics to have intercourse like a bio-male anyway)

Also, how rude of me, welcome to Susan's. : )

thanks for answering, it's a nightmare trying to tell people im a boy, not a boy-ish girl. so i think ive got a long road ahead of me trying to explain the sexuality thing to them... oh well, i'll just have to deal with it. and thank you for the welcome ^^,

-Jay

Hey, you're welcome! I'm kind of in the same boat, but with my dad. He called me a lesbian even though he knows I'm trans, and he usually makes fun of me by saying female stuff to me on principal. I think the best way to get your aunt to understand that not having bottom surgery doesn't make you a lesbian is telling her that you feel the surgeries aren't up to par (if you feel that way, of course). I wish you luck. : )

Nah, man.  Your orientation depends on what you're attracted to and your gender identity.  You like girls?  You identify as a male?  Bam, straight.  And having sex with girls is still possible without bottom surgery (which most people don't get anyway because it's not that great yet).  Harnesses and strap-ons and such.  So don't let her bother you   She just needs to be educated more.  Because you know, there are penisless cismales out there.  They're still considered straight, so why can't you?

Also: Just to add.  You don't have to confine yourself to a label.  It does make things easier, but don't stress over it  

Most people just can't separate sexual orientation from gender identity, when in fact the two have nothing to do with each other.

Dang I hope that's not true, or I'm REALLY bad at being a lesbian. I identify as male. I like men. So I'm guessing I'm not a lesbian. The part that gets my goat is that people think I can't identify as male and still like girly things. Helloo? What exactly is a "girly" thing, and why can't I like it?

With your aunt's logic I would be "straight" just because I'm with guys but may not get bottom surgery. I'm very gay TYVM
How our genitals happen to look really does not define who we are or our sexuality.

Welcome to Susan's!