Quote from: Eve of Chaos on February 16, 2011, 11:19:10 PM
So in my transition it would seem HRT is my next step. I am 100% sure that I want to be a girl, what I am not so sure of is if I can handle life if I dont pass to 95% of people. not that id be ashamed or anything, idk its a big thing tat this post isnt about
Right, well give it a try. If that avatar photo is you, I'm sure you'll do okay. Just get out and try, and see how it feels. Get some girl friends to doll you up, and go out to a party or dinner or a show or whatever with them. I bet you'll find that the benefits outweigh the stark raving terror - and you get over that.
QuoteI have this fear that after everything said and done it wont be enough for me and I'll always feel incomplete, yet at the same time I dont feel like not transitioning is my best option...
You won't feel complete. For one thing, you'll never get your lost childhood back. But who cares? You don't feel "complete" now, do you? Why waste your 20's too, or your 30's or ... Transitioning is about doing the best with what you've got.
Quoteso after reading a few accounts on a few websites I heard how being on HRT for most Tgirls feels "right". and I feel like I need to try this before I can make the full decision to completely transition. I feel like it'l either feel "right" or "wrong" and I can deal with that once I know.
Go for it. I think some of that "right" and "wrong" business is in retrospect. But one thing I noticed quickly was a change in my sex drive. Also, the relief of knowing I would never have to worry about getting more body hair, never going bald, that I could avoid getting craggier and more masculine with each passing year, even if nothing else happened -- that felt "right."
But don't worry about being like "most Tgirls." Why transition if you're just going to jump from one set of artificial social constraints into another? When you read about the experience of other trans women, try to see in their experience possibilities for how to live, rather than recommendations on what you should do. It's your choice to try to live like them, or do something different. In other words, worry about being
you. Actually, don't even worry about that -- just
be yourself. I thin you'll find it's much better than being anyone else.
Quotebut I also wonder if its maybe like the placebo effect, that most will be so happy to be on it and so happy for the changes that the feeling comes from that.
So what? That's totally legit.
Quotemy therapist also warned me that it makes you moody and emotional and I may confuse that for a "wrong" feeling.
It really didn't do much to me. I guess I was always a little "moody and emotional." I guess I can cry a bit more easily now. Also, transitioning in general means I'm much more in touch with my emotions, and that's
awesome. It's one of the best things about transitioning.
Quoteso my question is to all who are on it. is it a good indicator for transition? i know theres permanent effects, but I really dont think it would take me more than two months to decide and at that point I dont see anything as being too irreversible to devastating.
my therapist has told me she is willing to sign for hormones when i'm ready, she knows that I'm taking everything into consideration and not just jumping in and trusts that If I feel its right then I can handle it. I would also like to add that I am very much leaning towards this path and unless someone can give me very good reason not to I think its what I need to do. I just wanna make sure I ask before I do it.
I also kind of feel like I need to push myself into the point of no return so I can get the strength to keep going and not hide out so much.
It sounds as though you are going about it in exactly the right way. My only advice is to just take it one step at a time. Don't worry about "transitioning"; just do what feels right at the time. HRT is a big step, but it comes in little tiny steps, a few pills at a time.
