At first I really didn't, but after thinking about it, I sort of do.

None of my friends take me seriously and they all still call me by female pronouns. Well, one of my friends calls me by male pronouns, but sometimes forgets. Yet my entire group of friends knows another transguy and they all call him "he" and by his male name, which pisses me off because they can't seem to do the same for me.

I feel like, if I came out to my parents, at least my parents would believe me or somewhat care. I mean, as far as I'm aware, my mom does care if I'm feeling like ->-bleeped-<-.

Anyway. I do want to come out, but I've pretty much missed all of my opprotunities. And I don't want to come out to my step-dad face-to-face. I don't really like talking seriously with him, it makes me nervous. I figure, if I come out to my mom, she'll tell my step-dad and I might have to talk about it to them anyway.

I kind of need to put myself in a position where I won't try to run away from the situation.

I've been wanting to ask my therapist to bring my mom in so that I would have to force myself to continue with my decision to come out.

My parents, just in general, tend to make me really nervous. I'll start to shake badly if I try telling them something serious.

But still, I think I should go with my idea of having my therapist call my mom and me in at the same time, because my therapist seems to get really excited at the idea of my mom and I talking, like, making a break through or something. XD

How would I say it though? Would I just say, you know, "Oh, hey, mother, I'm transgender." or...should I try explaining that I've felt this way for a long time?

I'm stuck on how I should say it.

Any help?

I don't know how else to go about it, so I'm just going to tell you how to go about it like I would if I had to do it over:

You walk into the house, do it right after school or whatever. Do nothing before you do this: walk into the room where they are together and say:

"Mom and Dad, I need you to know that I am transgendered [pause for reaction] I've known for (insert length of time here). This means that my mental and physical gender are not the same. It is not something that can be cured, it should be examined seriously, I have had the time to ask myself all of the hard questions necessary to come to this conclusion: I want to be a man."

Answer all of their questions as thoroughly as you can, and hopefully they only freak out for about a month. It's hard for them too.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 20, 2011, 09:30:13 PM
I don't know how else to go about it, so I'm just going to tell you how to go about it like I would if I had to do it over:

You walk into the house, do it right after school or whatever. Do nothing before you do this: walk into the room where they are together and say:

"Mom and Dad, I need you to know that I am transgendered [pause for reaction] I've known for (insert length of time here). This means that my mental and physical gender are not the same. It is not something that can be cured, it should be examined seriously, I have had the time to ask myself all of the hard questions necessary to come to this conclusion: I want to be a man."

Answer all of their questions as thoroughly as you can, and hopefully they only freak out for about a month. It's hard for them too.

That could work.

Yeah like Emma I didn't do it how I wanted to either. I was terrified of my mom's reaction so I said "Mom I need to talk to you about something very important... I'm..." Then I broke down crying so my ex finished with "Your son is transgender" My mom knew the term though so that worked out.

Do you know they know what it means? If so then I would simply stick with something like what Emma was saying. For my dad (over the phone) I made a point of saying "Imagine if you woke up tomorrow feeling the way you do now except stuck in a woman's body" for him that was what really got the point across. However you do it good luck and just remember to try and relax. Oh and like Emma mentioned questions be prepared some of my family didn't have questions but my grandma had a BILLION of them. Good luck

I know what you mean about being nervous and shaking. When I came out to my mom my voice was even shaking really bad. She already thought i was gay so i kind of started of by saying mom im not gay im trans and then explaining what that meant. She actually didnt really know much about being trans at all. I think thats cool that you have a therapist that can kind of be there to help, it might make it easier. If I had a therapist, I probably would have done it that way too. But like you said your mom cares about you and as long as she knows your serious, it will probably go just fine. Does she already have an idea about you being trans?

I told my parents that it felt like I was wearing a masquerade suit I couldn't take off, among other things, such as that I'd been feeling like I was "in the wrong body" for three years, that I would still be the same person, that I wanted to be called Elias (we settled on Eli as a compromise, as Eli is a gender-neutral name, and it would be easier to adapt to).

So far, they haven't used male pronouns, they still call me by my old name, yadda yadda. Apparantly, I have to be discreet in order to make it less of a shocker for my little sister. My sister once started yelling at me about how ridiculous it was for me to just "choose my own name", and to be called "a boy's name which I'd just made up", and that she refused to call me it. Later on, she saw me wearing boxers and was pretty upset by it (she found it super weird). Then, father said that he had boxers, too, and mother did the same (she has a pair of boxers, actually). This made her look like this: It seems my sister is quite immature, so maybe waiting and being discreet will work out.