....

It really varies from person to person.  Everyone has a different reaction.
I firmly believe in taking everything step by step.  For example, I did therapy for 3-4 months to get the HRT letter.  I then started on anti-androgens (Spironolactone) just to see how it affected me.  After 6 months I started a more powerful anti-androgen in addition to Spironolactone, called Finasteride.  I've been on that almost a month and am now starting on Estradiol (Estrogen) today.

I can say that I have changed.  But it's not due to hormone replacement therapy.  It's due to me breaking down the male persona that I've built to cope with the world around me.  Now with that male "wall" broken, the little girl inside has a chance to go out, grow up and live her own life.  My interests as far as hobbies are the same.  I've always loved video games, computers, drawing, anime, manga and I still do.  My interests as far as clothing choices, reactions to situations, etc, have all changed.  I'm even more emotionally compelled in my decisions instead of rationally thinking.

I highly recommend reading about every article you come across for hormone replacement therapy.  It will help you understand what you are getting into.  Sure the physical changes are great but it won't make you a woman.  Only the way you carry yourself and the way you present yourself will determine how feminine you are.  You don't need hormones to feel complete and some don't even do hormones because they are comfortable with themselves the way they are.

During the short term ie 1st week I had a fuzzy headed or groggy sensation that didn't leave me. This happens rarely now if I stop taking my hormones for a week or so as I foolishly found out. I belive that to be a "menopausal symptom" really it's just really a good motivation to get me to take my meds >_<

The fuzzy headed ness quickly clears up tho within a week or so.
After that week a number of changes occur mentally.

I felt much less depressed and was able to focus on my work more no longer worrying about my body becoming more male.

My intellect was unaffected as was my intrests. I'm still a massive science geek. My emotions and sense of Empathy is also unchanged I still feel for pepole exactly as I do before.

I felt less competitive replaced with a much more serene feeling,

I was less driven to anger when under duress tending to cry more in private instead of taking it out on myself.

My sex drive was significantly diminished it vanished completely for many months and I became a "True" asexual when it returned it was somewhat altered in focus and orientation but largely as I remember it and still bisexual in spin and remained much lower and easier to control than my testosersone fueled libido.

Quote from: pebbles on February 22, 2011, 01:11:54 PM
My sex drive was significantly diminished

This is very true for me.  I am still able to perform with my male parts but it greatly increased in difficulty.

   That's a hard one to answer... The psychological and emotional changes you'll feel are subtle and cumulative. If I look back at myself 5 years ago and compare him to me I can honestly say that I do feel like a different person. From all the research that I've done and transfolk I've chatted with my theory is that the level of change you'll experience is dependent on your age at the start of transition and your  level of gender dysphoria. A large part of what you'll experience first will be the drastic reduction of testosterone. After about 6 months, you'll realize how much testosterone ruled your existence.  Many transwomen are very happy to be rid of it.

   Hormones make permanent, physical changes in your brain. As with any drugs, there will be physiological changes but how you experience them depends on you. I lived for 35 mostly miserable, confusing years in a male role. About two months into HRT I felt like someone turned on a light and I could finally see things the way I should.

   The core of my personality didn't really change but my sense of identity did in a really big way. It's hard to separate what HRT did and just how transition itself effected me. Again, HRT's effects are more dramatic over time; it was really over two years before I could really say that I felt like a different person. Id say the biggest change is my social ability/comfort. As a guy I was diagnosed with Social Phobia and Generalized anxiety disorders and needed psych meds to control them. I even surprised my therapist when I stopped the meds on my own about 6 months after living full time... I just didn't need them anymore; I was reaching out to people instead of shying away.

  I don't mean to sound like a Mom but you should seriously reconsider your stance on therapists. By rejecting the idea of therapy alltogether you're really cheating yourself.. Transition is HARD!  I thought I could do it all on my own but after a few therapy sessions I was like, "Wow!!! Why didn't I do this sooner??!!!" At the very least, I think a peer support group is essential for anyone in transition. You don't need to do this on your own :-)

  Viewing HRT as a means of self improvement (like working out) is a very, very dangerous way to view what you're about to do. Hormones are not for making solely cosmetic changes.

   It also sounds like you've got it all figured out... I'm not trying to be adversarial or condescending.. It's just that your attitude genuinely concerns me. What can you present to support your notion that the Standards of Care shouldn't apply to you? Also, how can you dismiss the experiences of others who have been on HRT for years as simply irrelevant to your situation?

Wow.


That's all I have to say

Quote from: JessicaR on February 24, 2011, 08:59:10 PM
Wow.


That's all I have to say

Yeah Jessica, I'm with you on this one. Wow.

Rabbit, let us know how it works out for you. I am interested to see how this turns out.

Hi Rabbit,

I think you should seriously consider seeking professional help.

HRT is a therapy destined to deal with a condition called Gender Incongruence Disorder. It's serious business and has nothing to do with boobs and soft skin (those are merely desired side-effects). If your assumption is: take a pill, grow boobs, stay the same. Think again. Sex hormones are the most powerful hormones humans produce and have an impact on who you are and how you deal with the world around you. HRT does impact the way your brain is wired. And you opt for HRT because of that, after all it enables alleviating the GID experienced issues (and that has nothing to do with "becoming more mature").

Quote from: Emma on February 25, 2011, 02:01:50 AM
Hi Rabbit,

I think you should seriously consider seeking professional help.

HRT is a therapy destined to deal with a condition called Gender Incongruence Disorder. It's serious business and has nothing to do with boobs and soft skin (those are merely desired side-effects). If your assumption is: take a pill, grow boobs, stay the same. Think again. Sex hormones are the most powerful hormones humans produce and have an impact on who you are and how you deal with the world around you. HRT does impact the way your brain is wired. And you opt for HRT because of that, after all it enables alleviating the GID experienced issues (and that has nothing to do with "becoming more mature").

I do have to say that I was pretty like Rabbit and I turned out just fine. Nearly 30 years on, 26 years postop, and with a 23 year long stable relationship I am living proof that one size does NOT fit all. I am a fairly typical "middle of the road" practical down to earth woman, but I didn't need therapy to become that.

If therapy helps you then fine, but please don't make the mistake of assuming that we all need it because frankly we don't. Therapy can help you resolve doubts, overcome confusions, maybe change things you want to change. If you don't want or need any of that it is just a silly exercise in box ticking. You can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink if it doesn't want/need to do so.

I did visit a therapist once in 1976, aged 16, and the only outcome was to confuse and irritate him, and needlessly force me into an unwanted de-transition when I had been lucky enough to more or less have my childhood in "almost" correct gender. (no mean feat back in the 1960's) His logic was that my parents had been wrong to allow me so much freedom and that I needed to try "manning up" before I did anything irreversible. His argument for this was that I had happily grown up as a bit of a tomboy girl - but that he didn't consider me "feminine" enough to justify surgical reassignment.

Frankly that sort of twaddle still does make me spit blood. You don't have to be at the extremes of gender polarity to want and be happy in a female body.

When I finally re-transitioned in the early 1980's I did so completely without therapy and I even found a way to bypass the need for formal HRT and SRS letters. My surgery was done without any formally monitored RLE, although because of my childhood it must be admitted I had by then had plenty of time living as female. The only thing I would say about not visiting a therapist is that if you don't then you have to be willing to accept responsibility for your own actions, but like Rabbit I was always towards the upper end of mental ability so I don't have a problem there.

Ultimately I hold myself up as living proof. If I had stuck with the therapist I would probably be dead now. As it is I am happily married and enjoying life. So while I agree that the "no therapy" route isn't for many, there are some of us who it genuinely is the right path for.

Everyone who treads the road of gender transition is an individual and the key to success is to follow the route which genuinely fits your individual needs. So please don't make the mistake of assuming that we must always all follow the same path.

I certainly didn't and we don't! After well over half my life lived highly successfully in target gender, with a stable home life, financial success, happy and respected within my community you would have to be pretty nuts to try and tell me that the unconventional way I did things was in any way wrong for me!

Quote from: rejennyrated on February 25, 2011, 03:39:00 AM
I do have to say that I was pretty like Rabbit and I turned out just fine. Nearly 30 years on, 26 years postop, and with a 23 year long stable relationship I am living proof that one size does NOT fit all. I am a fairly typical "middle of the road" practical down to earth woman, but I didn't need therapy to become that.

If therapy helps you then fine, but please don't make the mistake of assuming that we all need it because frankly we don't. Therapy can help you resolve doubts, overcome confusions, maybe change things you want to change. If you don't want or need any of that it is just a silly exercise in box ticking. You can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink if it doesn't want/need to do so.

I did visit a therapist once in 1976, aged 16, and the only outcome was to confuse and irritate him, and needlessly force me into an unwanted de-transition when I had been lucky enough to more or less have my childhood in "almost" correct gender. (no mean feat back in the 1960's) His logic was that my parents had been wrong to allow me so much freedom and that I needed to try "manning up" before I did anything irreversible. His argument for this was that I had happily grown up as a bit of a tomboy girl - but that he didn't consider me "feminine" enough to justify surgical reassignment.

Frankly that sort of twaddle still does make me spit blood. You don't have to be at the extremes of gender polarity to want and be happy in a female body.

When I finally re-transitioned in the early 1980's I did so completely without therapy and I even found a way to bypass the need for formal HRT and SRS letters. My surgery was done without any formally monitored RLE, although because of my childhood it must be admitted I had by then had plenty of time living as female. The only thing I would say about not visiting a therapist is that if you don't then you have to be willing to accept responsibility for your own actions, but like Rabbit I was always towards the upper end of mental ability so I don't have a problem there.

Ultimately I hold myself up as living proof. If I had stuck with the therapist I would probably be dead now. As it is I am happily married and enjoying life. So while I agree that the "no therapy" route isn't for many, there are some of us who it genuinely is the right path for.

Everyone who treads the road of gender transition is an individual and the key to success is to follow the route which genuinely fits your individual needs. So please don't make the mistake of assuming that we must always all follow the same path.

I certainly didn't and we don't! After well over half my life lived highly successfully in target gender, with a stable home life, financial success, happy and respected within my community you would have to be pretty nuts to try and tell me that the unconventional way I did things was in any way wrong for me!

  I think it's just plain irresponsible to encourage someone to be "unconventional" when talking about HRT or suggesting that it's OK to deliberately sidestep the resources available that have been specifically designed to help us.

Quote from: JessicaR on February 25, 2011, 11:26:26 AM
  I think it's just plain irresponsible to encourage someone to be "unconventional" when talking about HRT or suggesting that it's OK to deliberately sidestep the resources available that have been specifically designed to help us.

Err sorry but after 30 years of successful life I am simply not up for debate on that.

We will just have to agree to differ. WHEN and if you have a similar track record perhaps we can compare notes.

All that I did was to effectively adopt an informed consent model years before it became common place. Thus I sidestepped things which were not helping me. ENDOF! You have to bear in mind that I do not have a traditional trans narrative. I grew up mostly as a girl at a time when the therapy simply wasn't designed for that. This matters! It makes a huge difference.

I also REJECT ABSOLUTELY any charge that I was in any way irresponsible.

ALL my HRT was supplied by a registered doctor, and my SRS was done by the top UK surgeon, both on informed consent. All that I sidestepped was all the silly paperwork - and incidentally back then the SOC were still not written! So on the contrary I took full responsibility unlike some who hide behind their therapists and doctors. (and then to add insult to injury often try to sue them when things go wrong for them).

I by contrast have walked the walk and talked the talk for 30 highly successful years. When you have done the same you can perhaps criticise me, and expect me to listen, but not until.

Ok I have said my piece - so have you. I have no intention of getting into a pointless argument here.

I am now out of this thread. I will say no more.

ahum... don't think the point of anyone here was to get into hurting each other...

The discussion (and emotions) remind me of the debate around the inclusion (or removal) of GID in the last DSM revision. And, subsequently, the question: what is wise or not.

And though I would say @Rabbit: use (and abuse)  the system (experience, expertise...) which nowadays is abundantly available, I'm also very aware that in the earlier days, one had to be "pioneeringly" unconventional to walk the path.