I wrote this article awhile ago. It is definitely my perspective on men. I deleted the first part because it was a rant against Susan Stryker and Julie Serrano. Try and keep an open mind, this was written for cisgender people.
First of all, let me say that being in a relationship with one of us is complex. We were raised one way, but aspired to be something else. We can't change what we're born as. I am covering this from the HOMOSEXUAL TRANSEXUAL perspective. But really, all the relationships are more or less varying degrees of homosexuality/bisexuality. NONE OF THESE GUYS ARE STRAIGHT. None at all. Sure, someone may resemble a woman superficially...But go deeper and you'll soon see. This goes from ones who started before puberty to late starters. There is no differentation between the two. Nor does if the person has SRS or not, because yeah they'll have a surgically created vagina but still male genetic characteristics(bone, muscle, hand and feet size, etc all subconciously affect relationships and attraction). Also, most guys don't care whats in your pants if you aren't attractive to them. Men crave more than the vagina, they crave the person it's attached to.
There are two types of men: Men who have fetishes and men who have relationships. Then little subgroups within. There are people who do want relationships with transsexual women, but they are part of the second sub group. This also includes straight men who "didn't know". Also, it should note that finding someone attractive regardless of gender doesn't make you gay or straight. People like attractive people and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The fetish group is defined by men who attracted transsexual for their parts, the varying degree of androgny, or sexuality.
1) ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s- This is the most common type of guy. Many of the guys are attracted to them for fetishes. Because the girl has a penis, boobs, etc. These guys don't want relationships because they aren't technically gay. They persue them on varying degrees of androgyny...some are into manly ones, other ones femme ones. Again, you have to actually look at the person you are screwing.
2) Cazwells- More or less a gay identifying ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-. They'll do transwomen because in their mind, they are boys who resemble women. They tend to have drag queen fetishes that go too far. You wonder if most of them didn't ask to screw their boyfriend in drag after he performs at night.
The relationship group is bi/gay who have problem with a girl's past.
1) The exception to the rule: My b/f falls in this category. He finds very few ladyboys attractive. To quote my friend, "If a man is enamoured enough with a transgirl, he'll make exceptions". My b/f wants nothing to do with gay men or drag queens or their culture. But sometimes two people connect. These guys are rare. Honest to god, you can be a total knockout and a lot are. But the guy has to be secure in himself and his reputation. You won't be considered "straight" afterwards and don't be surprised if your buddies tease you. These guys often have to be the most secure in themselves, because guess what? People notice. Sure some won't care. But people do notice that the girl you're with was born a male.. Thus it helps to be secure and not take crap from people. In addition to this, most of this guy realize they won't have a natural family, marriage would be difficult, and there is still going to be the former gender.
But to the men who do this, they are seen as gold in the community.
2) The bisexual: Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes. To them, man and woman are fair game. They actually do exist and it's uncommon for a lot of men to have bisexual tendencies. These men have more or less dated women, but if a transsexual woman is hot enough and they are attracted to her...they'll go for her. They have no reservations about it. Most of the men who are in long term relationships with us, are bisexuals. They seem to be the consistent in relationships of this nature.
3) Gay men: Believe it or not, men who are gay are into transsexuals. So many tranwomen have told me, "Gay men like chest hair, chiseled features, and muscles". There is so much wrong with that statement, I could pontificate on it on another note.
The current gay scene is imbued in hyper masculinity. Sure, a lot of the men act like queens and Scott Thompson said, "Gay men are so delusional". But as long as they appear to rival straight men in social roles, it will continue. It's long been said that gay men hook up with others who appear like them. Feminine men aren't popular, because much of the community feels they enforce "that stereotype".
But here's the truth. Men are as varied in the gay scene as straight men. Some transwomen reduce the wants of a homosexual man to a simple statement rather than realizing variations of the truth. It helps them feel better when that gay man picks up on them in the bar. Gay men are into several different types of men. There are men who date femmes exclusively, having had an A4A account...I can say that a lot of men are attracted to them.
But let's be honest here... A lot of MtF transsexuals are just gay men. Remove the hormones, plastic surgery, etc and you'll get a femme boy. Really it is very much in the head. Now I am only addressing the stereotype and juxtaposing it with people i know. Every transsexual I know who is into boy began their life out as an awkward, feminine guy. It didn't work, so they went the extra route to correct things.
So it may not be out there. But there are many men in the Castro and other parts of the City I've encountered who are gay and have relationships with transsexual women. To them, transgirls are another form of men just at the feminine extreme. These are homosexuals who love femininity in all it's forms, but a lot of them wouldn't dare touch a geneticl girl. A genetic girl doesn't appeal to them. Maybe the lack of exaggeration or the fact that she's always been a female...doesn't appeal. To a certain degree, they are superficial bisexuals only attracted to women in the abstract.
So that is it. I think I've wrapped up my notes on gender, sexuality, gay vs straight, and how it all connects to the trannsexual community. Again, these are just observations.
