Baby ->-bleeped-<-s

http://everquestingmind.wordpress.com/2011/02/18/baby-->-bleeped-<-s/
2/18/11
by Lorelei

Some get a free ride through the baby ->-bleeped-<- phase, experimenting in small ways through clubbing or various groups and scenes, transitioning young enough to just seamlessly blend in at some stage, or just somehow being cluey enough and having the right support networks to quickly develop and instantly being that woman-which-should-have-been. Others, like me, get all manly post-puberty and then try to become feminine, with some interesting results – something like this:

"OH MY GOD I AM A WOMAN I AM GOING TO START WEARING DRESSES AND SKIRTS AND NAIL POLISH AND EVERYTHING IS SO PRETTY AND SPARKLY AND THE WORLD IS SO AMAZING I WANT TO SING AND DANCE WHOOOOOO..."

The excitement and release of externalising identity crashes into a desperate desire to be as feminine as possible as soon as possible.

But what I think happens sometimes is that we develop this idea of femininity, this image of what being a woman entails and how we would look as a woman, and that image tends to lag our own age somewhat, especially with all the contributing emotional factors of a second puberty.

A young lady with a deliciously humorous perspective on the process of transition.  I am older by much, but have pictures that like her, I will not post about my early times out of the closet and into my current life. We do not come out of the closet in perfect form, and are a work-in-progress as long as Cis women can be, we just start out further behind.

My greatest regret in not transitioning younger is that I was never able to wear really fashionable clothes or short dresses.

Caroline

Yeah, we do have to hit the bricks running for the most part, don't we?  We are not given the opportunity of having an experimental phase of fashion and flaunting that young girls have.  We are expected by society to come out fully formed and appropriate for our age.  So as we try to come up to speed, we do have a tendency to look a little outre sometimes. 

In my case, fortunately I had the friendship of Julie and Juliekins who kept me from going too over the top while my wings dried, so to speak, and I am grateful to them for that.

But there were some clubbing episodes that I recall with just a little bit of embarrassment and can now look back in humor.

-Sandy