This may exist somewhere around here, but I'm curious about the varied ways that y'all go about explaining yourselves to people who are curious, confused, or just plain ignorant.

Here are a few things that I've used:

- It's like being thrown in sewage water every morning and having to walk around while using the effluent as camouflage.
- My body is like quicksand.
- Everything I do that benefits me is approached from the female perspective.
- I feel more free as a woman. I feel like a prisoner and prison guard as a man.
- [I've recited the whole "identity region of the brain" study]
- F*** it! I'm a girl in a man's body! You simple...
- I'm just a human, I like myself better when I look and am treated like a woman.
- I'm a totally awesome experiment that God is conducting regarding sexism and gender bias.

Any others?

Separately: Lately I've been in a mire. I'm having a pity party and I kind of wonder if anyone actually feels totally awesome about being a transsexual. It may be rare, but I want to believe these people exist, I MUST know they exist. Okay, I don't really, I'm still going to plow through and transition even if I never meet these people, but I was just wondering if it is at all possible to come to a point in your life where you feel you are completely at peace with yourself and your past.

I'm struggling with this as well.  I guess the easiest way to explain it, is I just feel better about myself as a female.

I usually tell people about how I used to get phantom boobs and witter on about how when I was growing up I would have gladly swapped body hair and shaving for periods.

People tend to get the point after that.

as for feeling awesome about being TS...it's barely part of my identity really, I increasingly see myself as female and a woman before I'm trans anything

Quote from: Helena on February 28, 2011, 04:52:19 PM
as for feeling awesome about being TS...it's barely part of my identity really, I increasingly see myself as female and a woman before I'm trans anything

You're right there. Female is easy to grasp, all of that other business is the realist in me trying to appeal to other people's logic. The more I say: "I'm female," the better I feel.

It's just hard when I have to look in the mirror...

You'll be amazed at how quickly the boy burns away. I know I was.

I told my parents "well, what if you were trapped in someone else's body?  Of the opposite gender?"  but that didn't seem to convince them.  Pretty much I think the best way to tell anyone is "I'm not a man!"  Along someone's usual train of thought, that would imply I must be a woman, unless they're sarcastic and make a joke about me being an alien, gorilla, etc.

It's funny lately I haven't thought of myself as a boy either, it's finally clicking into place permanently.  The only reminders I have are when i have to go explain myself, or the fact that i'm still walking around in a boy suit and i cant find the zipper.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 28, 2011, 04:59:38 PMIt's just hard when I have to look in the mirror...

Every damned morning for the last 46 years, the face in the mirror looks blank, empty, vacant, like it's missing a lot.  Makeup provides such a huge comfort, but it's rare and fleeting for me.  My avatar photo isn't me (obviously!) but it was chosen to represent how I'd rather look and feel. (I wear a shorter red wig when dressed.)  Electrolysis is taking too damned long, waiting weeks for surgery referral letters has been Hell, and hair transplant surgery is still at least a year and $15K away.  At least there's been progress on scheduling orchiectomy.  That's one serious positive in my life, and I wish it could have happened 20 years sooner.

- "I'm a female maybe not an ordinary one but I'm a female never-the-less"

To females
- "Imagine if your voice broke you grew beard and your hair fell out.
That's how much this situation sucks."

To males
- "Imagine your dick fell off and you bled every month.
That's how much this situation sucks"

I'm understating it because it would then require the medical establishment to then ignore them and there condition for 4 years.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 28, 2011, 04:29:11 PMHow have you described your condition to others?

Normally I don't, unless people are genuinely curious.  I find that many people have "selective hearing" if you know what I mean.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 28, 2011, 04:29:11 PM
..... I kind of wonder if anyone actually feels totally awesome about being a transsexual. It may be rare, but I want to believe these people exist, I MUST know they exist.

Well I can't say that I have been overly thrilled about being TG over the years, to say the least. But since coming to terms with it, and starting transition, my BFF (Stacy Beaumont) and I have both decided that if we're going to do "this", we're going to do it right and with style. We joke and laugh about what we're going to do with this daily. We have laid out professional and personal goals and plans and worked out budgets and funding requirements. So yea.... we are going to rock being TG....(it's much better than suffering through it)

I would never say "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body."  Whenever I hear that I don't get it.  That brings to mind a different person living inside of you..and telling someone you have a different person living inside of you is what crazy people do.

I also tend to avoid "woman" all together.  I say female. It sounds more scientific. I also want to illicit sympathy. 

"I have always though I should be female but shutdown when puberty came on..it was a nightmare. Medical advances can help"
"I knew I was female since age four but my father called me sissy and beat me so I tried to be as much of a man as I could."
"My hormones are crazy town, I am seeing someone about getting it figured out."
"When I was little I wanted to be a girl and it's caused me a lot of pain.."

That sort of thing. 

Thank you Rabbit, really, everyone. I am making good progress, I really am. Soon I'll be capable of full time appearance mode (within the year) and I may not have moments like this after. Luckily, my wife and I can co-exist as two women in the same household with a child. Un-luckily, it can't be this household at this time.

Gotta stop worrying or I'll make my hair fall out (or turn it all gray  ).

Japple: That woman trapped in a man's body business is cliche (and inaccurate), but it's often the very first thing that they ask. Most times I cave and tell them yeah because I don't have much of a window to explain it in a way that they can understand otherwise. At least they got the woman I.D. right.

I just say I was born defective and doctors are just now finally working to fix it.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. So far it is only my closest friends that know about it. I am not yet ready to tell my parents/ family yet because I am still working out a lot of other issues as well, and need to wait for the appropriate time to do so. However with my friends I usually say something along the lines of

Ever since I could remember I always felt different than the other boys, and hid a lot of who I was from the world. I grew into a shell, and suppressed so much just to survive. I was bullied miserably just for being the class cry baby and very very sensitive, because of this I held back an awful lot. I remember wanting to play with the girls throughout elementary school yet never tried to join in because I was an outcast. Then High School came and although gender seemed less important at this age because everyone was past the "cooties stage" it was not really. I could never relate to men and how they viewed girls so I always found it awkward to be around them when they displayed all this macho behavior while I was very very timid with my secret. At the same time I felt even more stronger of a desire to just sit with the girls and join in on the gossip. I remember trying to use this interest in girls to prove to myself that I was heterosexual, but my thoughts were always wanting to be part of the group and when I did have fantasies about girls it was usually in a kind of sisterly way. I never wanted to "do girls" like the other guys but instead wanted to have a romantic relationship and hold cuddle and embrace that person write poetry and trust her with my heart and soul. Yet at the same time I never actually tried like the other boys to get a girlfriend. I just had no desire to court a relationship and impress girls by being macho or flirting in the way guys do. I would just sit there awkward knowing about my secret but thinking. "ok I can be attracted to girls, they are pretty and omg that dress is so pretty" I'm not attracted to guys so therefore must be strait. even though I was secretly sneaking onto TS boards at night and reading up on the experiences of other ts girls transitions and just needed so badly to experience the things they describe about being seen as a woman, passing and hormones etc.

Another very big thing also is this intense brain/ body disconnect as though certain bodily sensations are wired in my head as fantom sensations of other parts. I reacted to this by thinking I was a deviant or some sort of fetish, however a fetish doesn't last an entire lifetime.(depending how deep I am going) I remember being younger like 11 years old and wanting to castrate myself, as a kid I would try to push my penis up into my body cavity as though it felt right. I remember when no one was around wanting to sit to pee because it just seemed right.. I knew I was a girl from a very young age but due to the situation was just an awkward kid that wanted to be invisible.

As a teenager I never went out to the bars like the other people because although I wanted a social life, and to not be an outcast. Nothing about being a guy interested me, it just felt empty and since I couldn't be 1 of the girls chatting to a friend and having guys come up to use etc. I was supposed to be "the guy" so I just never had any incentives to do that sort of thing.

I am doing this transition because I need to belong and feel at peace in myself. I do not want to be a perfect stereotype of what a woman should be, but I need to transition I need to socially be seen as female and have all the responsibilities that go with it. I cannot live as an "it" for the rest of my life because that existence is just too sad, and I dont feel male and am never going to fake it. I have nothing against men, and do not see any gain of being a woman, there are no social advantages or anything like that. Excepts for the fact as a woman I can be more genuine to express myself. I can share my feelings, I can join in in girl chat, I can dress pretty, and have nice hair, I am not expected to be an emotional zombie, and just feel alive.

I have to transition and my mind is made up on this issue. I will not change over night and expect it to take several years. There are so many issues associated with this I need to work out first. Also I need to feel secure financially if I can. But there is no choice in this.

I have 2 options.

Live as a man who does not identify as male and has no ability to do so. This life will most likely be living as a hermit and work/ money but no happiness.

OR

Transition to female, open up with the world feel at peace within my own body and be able to relate to the world as a woman and be able to enjoy the things everyone else takes for granted.

I CHOOSE TRANSITION!!!!!!

Apart from immediate family there are not many I have spoken too, but I have explained that we are all conceived female.   Then at about 14 weeks when the hormones make the body of some of us change into a male one, the brain doesn't always follow but continues it's previous, female development.  They seemed to get this, especially when I referred to the brain studies done in the Netherlands in the 90's.

My mind and body don't fit together.

One of the analogies I like to use to describe it is, when I used to walk by a mirror I wouldn't recognize myself. Almost as if I was looking at the reflection of a stranger. I'd be like wow, I really look like that? That's the best, most simple terms I can describe it in.

To add to something Pebbles said (imagine your voice cracking and your beard growing out) I've told a few on-line GG friends what my existence as a male has been like:

Imagine not wearing any makeup or jewelry or nice shoes or anything colorful for months, day after day after day.  Imagine not being able to express yourself in what you wear beneath your clothes, or the clothes you wear on the outside.  You're forced to wear boring white cotton underwear with absolutely no style whatsoever.  Your choice of pants is black, brown, blue, or khaki.  Your choice of shoes is black or brown. 

Essentially, you're limited by everyone else's very narrow expectations of you, and not allowed to live how you really feel.

I've always hated the trapped in the wrong body analogy.

I am a woman who was born with a male anatomy.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 28, 2011, 04:29:11 PM
Any others?

I describe it as a genetic condition that causes mutation of reproductive organs, including the ensuing hormonal imbalance. I read once that male biology actually is a mutation of female biology, so this is correct from a certain point of view.

Quote from: EmmaM on February 28, 2011, 04:29:11 PM
I was just wondering if it is at all possible to come to a point in your life where you feel you are completely at peace with yourself and your past.

I am at peace with myself and my past, though that doesn't include my present. This condition is not part of who I am or my past. To me it's no different than a chronic disease, though of course most other conditions aren't so stigmatized.

Quote from: Caith on March 01, 2011, 10:05:09 AM
To add to something Pebbles said (imagine your voice cracking and your beard growing out) I've told a few on-line GG friends what my existence as a male has been like:

Imagine not wearing any makeup or jewelry or nice shoes or anything colorful for months, day after day after day.  Imagine not being able to express yourself in what you wear beneath your clothes, or the clothes you wear on the outside.  You're forced to wear boring white cotton underwear with absolutely no style whatsoever.  Your choice of pants is black, brown, blue, or khaki.  Your choice of shoes is black or brown. 

Essentially, you're limited by everyone else's very narrow expectations of you, and not allowed to live how you really feel.

I understand what you're saying, but for me, to the outside world, that gets too close to sounding like a crossdresser.

I think you have to target it to their level of understanding, I've referred to HRT as my version of an anti-depressant in the past.  Or that despite everything that goes against the path we've chosen (to transition to some degree), how can you put a price or a condition on being happy?