Are they?  are women too sensitive?......
I am female born with male body right and have had to alter my life as such growing up?
Did i have the benefit of being a girl and a guy and seeing both sides of the coin?
Am i sensitive like a woman is generally but also not as much cause i was/am living as a male?
I work with natal females and have lots around me and for better or worse it seems women are soo sensitive about things, anything everything?  Like they take things personally all the time?
Is this a female character trait?  What does anyone think?
Men as a rule seem to be less obsessive about being offended or emotional and do not generally get as offended or emotional as women do?
Case in point cross a guy at work, the issue generally dies right away cross a woman and you gamble with your life it either never goes away or she makes a mission out of screwing you then?
I always wondered this being born female internally but having to present as male living and growing did i mutate some of this or never just had it and am one of those "girls" who is not emotional or takes things soo personally?
I dunno this was just on my mind and am curious what you guys and girls think
Ricki

I'm bad about that one. I may or may not say anything, but cross me and an elephant will look forgetful.

Rikki,

I don't know if you are on estrogen.

Since I got on estrogen I leaned that the answer is...
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Testosterone dulls your perception to the things estrogen shows you.

Bri-lala

Well...

I find that the more and more I deconstruct my male socialization and become more publicly in touch with my true feminine self, the less crap I take from people.  Seriously, I'm not a doormat like I used to be.  I get mad at people for treating me wrong, and while I'm capable of forgiving, I tend not to forget (especially when it comes to employers abusing my good nature.)

Pre HRT... I was a brick wall.... nothing got by me but nothing really bothered me that much... id get mad but not stay mad....

Sence HRT....  I can let even more things slide, but some few things get past and really REALLY tick me off... also Ive found my memory for everything to be about 10k better than it ever was before....  Im remembering things from pre my "first memory"  and I dont forget those that cross me.....

Im more ballanced and less likely to explode on you... but push the right button enough times and you might as well wish you were dead.... I wont kill you but I'll go out of my way to make your life miserable in every way I can......  But dont worry, its hard to get me to that point....

Also Im much more likely to let you know what Im thinking or feeling, especialy if you offend me, its not so much that Im upset, but an accnoladgement that you did something to upset me so you wont make the same mistake again....

Well, I am genetically female and I think I'm pretty insensitive.
I don't show emotion in front of other people and I would rather they wouldn't do it in front of me... it's just awkward. This is probably because I often don't really understand why people get upset about the things they do.

Wow, wonder what will happen when I start T? lol.

Quote from: Brianna on January 19, 2007, 10:46:00 PM
Rikki,

I don't know if you are on estrogen.

Since I got on estrogen I leaned that the answer is...
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Testosterone dulls your perception to the things estrogen shows you.

Bri-lala

What perceptions do you get back?  Is it physical - like will my sense of smell partially return?  Is it emotional?  Something else?

Chaunte

Quote from: Ricki on January 19, 2007, 10:11:37 PM
Are they?  are women too sensitive?......

Generally? Maybe, but mostly because they've learned show it. Men usually hide or disguise any hurt. But specifically I would say no because I've met a lot of insenstive women, some more type-A and alpha male than any man, and senstivity wasn't in their vocabulary. I think sensitivity may go along with women's evolution but it's changed a lot and it's also more related to personality and temperament which is being human.

--Susan--

We are all emotional some more so then others.  As far as men or women being any more or any less emotional than each other is totally subjective and depends solely on the individual.  During their up bringing men learn to hide their emotions as it is not cool to express any emotion that may indicate weakness and men risk being ridiculed for showing emotion, men are strong, hunters and defenders, but are they less emotional - no of course they are not, one only has to witness tough, battle hardened soldiers crying over their fallen comrades to realize this.  Women on the other hand were/are considered the fairer, weaker sex, and were expected/allowed to cry, be emotional and I still think that to a large extent it applies today.

I don't think that we can learn to be emotional and I also feel that emotions can't be measured.  We are born with our emotions and how we display them or allow them to affect our lives is up to the individual.  Many feel that HRT affects their emotional state making them more sensitive, allowing the free flow of emotional expression.  I'm not sure if there has ever been a study done on how HRT affects us, but it would be interesting to find out.  Personally I believe that as a MtF transitions we realize that we are now free to express those emotions and do so more than we did in the past.

I don't believe that emotions can be created or modified, but I believe we can be taught how to deal with them and express them, and it is in this way that men and women express them differently.

My thoughts anyway.

Steph

Quote from: LynnER on January 20, 2007, 03:50:24 AM
Pre HRT... I was a brick wall.... nothing got by me but nothing really bothered me that much... id get mad but not stay mad....

Take that to an extreme and you got me, I was like the schools punching bag, it got to me and made me miserable I just didn't show it at all.

In general women are more attuned to read the emotions of others than men are.  This may be partly due to the effect of hormones on brain and nervous system development and it may also be partly due to the way in which boys and girls are socialized differently.  All of us have emotions, but we don't all show emotions in the same way, and we are not always good at reading the emotions of others.  If I express my emotions in one way, then it is easier for me to be aware of the same emotional expression in another.  But if that other person expresses her emotions in a different way, then it may not be as easy for me to read her emotions.

Many times men relate to others in a competitive relationship (in business or sports) and connect in a more or less impersonal way.  Women often relate to others in a more cooperative relationship where attention to the feelings of others is important.  Some developmental psychologists say that girls and boys develop socially differently, but there is considerable controvery about this.

I don't know about anyone else, but I do take things personally and I can't help it. I also hold a grudge and I don't forget when someone crosses me. I can't help that either. I have tried to let go on matters, but I can't. Since being on hormones I do know that my emotions will come up more, meaning that if someone bothers me I will start crying as before I would get mad. I still feel hurt and want my revenge, but know that is rediculous. Revenge is not the way to handle matters. I just can't let go and given the chance I will get even in the long run and then I feel vindicated. I really don't like that part of me. It just happens. And if I don't talk to someone about this then it becomes an obsession with me. Like Gender Identity. I can't let go.
Sheila

I appreciate the feedback I do not know if i have an honest opinion either way i experience a lot in the work environment and in life, i cannot ever say that a guy has not been over sensitive or anything like that i've just experienced more ladies or women doing it.  which again may not measure to anything really.  It may be as much as a behavior or personality thing as anything else i was just wondering what others had as a take on this area. 

QuoteI don't believe that emotions can be created or modified, but I believe we can be taught how to deal with them and express them, and it is in this way that men and women express them differently

what Steph said is very good!  constantly at the workplace we're being told to change this behavior pattern or stop being this or reacting that way, etc...  I have my own female supervisors who claim they cannot change;"they are who they are" they claim?  I always protest and say that we are not asking ourselves to change who we are just how we recieve and relay the information and emotions back..
seems like an awful thin line sometimes huh....
well thank you a bunch for the thoughts and info!
kisses
Ricki
Oh i should add personally i was more of a wall or that typical male emotional person when younger in recent years while trying to develope myself and the female side i find myself being a little more emotional and sometimes taking things a little more personally but this is a balancing act and i usually can redirect my emotions or thinking-i've been very good about not being vindictive too!... Not bad huh   Especially since i am not taking hormones--does Vodka count? hehe...

Sensitive.... No

We are just less INSENSITIVE than men.

Also it is a womans programming to nurture, care, communicate and show more empathy if thats being sensitive then I love it!

The issue of mens perception of women being sensitive will be solved when guys learn to mind read, they would not upset us so much then.

Buffy

Back in 2003 on another board a few people insulted me, and I still remember their screen names, as well as the worst offender's birthdate, location, orientation, and more or less what he looks like.

I have to wonder if some of us are hard-wired one way or the other independent of hormones.

Quote from: umop ap!sdn on January 21, 2007, 01:12:12 AM
I have to wonder if some of us are hard-wired one way or the other independent of hormones.

Yes, it's personality and temperament. I had two successive bosses.

The first was quiet, reserved and wanted to be liked, and everyone to agree on issues. They liked conversation and talking about all the facets of something, often long meetings without any resolution except for another meeting. They hated making decisions, especially when others would express disapproval of them or dislike about the decision. They wanted everyone to enjoy work and be happy.

The second was agressive, made quick decisions, hated disagreement especially with their views, bullied people who disapproved of their decisions, threatened people when things failed or people missed deadlines, even to the point of yelling in public, the word no wasn't in their vocabulary, and made it clear who was the "boss".

I nicknamed them Charlie Brown and Lucy in the extreme, and in reality the first was a man and the second a woman.  Both were hated by almost all of the male employees and most of the women because they thought the man was too soft and feminine thinking and the second too hard and masculine thinking and acting. It was an interesting study in gender perceptions.

Well, I clicked on the thread because of the word 'too' on 'Women are too sensitive'.

Compared to what?  Is there a 'never exceed' threshold as in 'You can be this sensitive but no more'?  Are there Sensitiveness Police lurking about to arrest you and mete out retribution should the Sensitivity boundary be exceeded?  Could we first please define what constitutes 'too sensitive'?

Even in denial, I was told by many people that I took things 'too' personally (compared to them, of course.)  In fact, it was my realization that: a) I was incapable of 'letting things slide' like my bosses/coworkers/family suggested I should do and that; b) this was very much a common trait of the female brain -- factored into my decision that transitioning was probably the best life-choice I could make.

Ricki, your differentiation of male and female 'sensitivity' places me squarely in your 'female' box.  No wonder I've had trouble in the past passing as a guy.  I think the times when my work world was at its best was when bosses and coworkers let me behave in a normal-to-females manner and didn't try to judge my behaviour by the Stoic Male model and punish me for my transgressions of that model.

Yep, males and females are different in that respect.  It's natural.

Karen

Thanks Karen that was good what you posted...
I am not sure if i have a good gauge to measure the "too" part?
I mean i only have examples of me and how i interact with people and others around me? 
Example:  my sister who i try and be in-the-in-with usually is busy or more so always busy but after a week or so of attempts ill get an odd call at an inconvenient time for me and when or if i say like "Hey ___ i just pulled into work i cannot talk" then i get the Icy cold-okay well fine but i was only returning your call you called me four times this past week...(never minding the four times i called her she was busy watching a movie, just about to run out to the store, driving with the kids not able to talk, and not feeling good call me later..)
so to me i did get offended more so was i being too sensitive and feeling rejected or should i have not worried about it>?
I dunno i could list bad examples all night i guess its more complicated than what one would think?  The mood of the person, the current situation they're in(maybe busy or having anarguemnt with a loved one) stressed from daily issues?  Maybe as i started this post to see if it did have anything to do with gender maybe it in reality does not have as much to do with it as i thought?  Maybe gender has nothing to do with it and everything else does? Wonderous thought!
I had a boss who was always stating she's the type A personality and likes confrontation and says things immediatly or on her mind, etc.Wants to resolve conflict by conflicting it immediatly.... I think i may have been like that when younger but i think when lifes works and working as a manager who almost always had a boss who was not type A i changed some of this i hold back (probably for good reason and i think it's probably served me better than worse all these years)..
When type A's clash there seems to never be a good 50% compromise either?
I do not know.. But thank you all for the input and feedback its appreciated very much!
Ricki

Some of you gals have been saying that you have gotten more sensitive and a tad more emotional since starting hormones, right? So one could reach the conclusion that estrogen just evokes that kind of response in most people depending on the levels of estrogen in their system.

Me....I'm pre-t and probably more sensitive than I ought to be. I'm very "feminine" in that sense, and it makes most guys think I'm gay because I'm openly emotional (mostly because I can't help it and am terrible at hiding my feelings). I'm also extremely receptive to other peoples' emotions around me which I've never really found to be a "guy" thing. I'm hoping that T will help me be a little less over-emotional, but I don't really mind being so receptive anymore. I used to; I thought it took away from my masculinity and therefore I wasn't "man" enough to be FTM. But no, then I met a few sensitive bio guys and felt a bit better.

I have to agree with Tinkerbell, Steph, and Buffy's points. That it depends on the person. Some people are more sensitive and/or emotional, and some are not, regardless of gender.
The main difference, I think (other people have already touched on this), is that from an early age, men are taught to show less emotion and sensitivity. Women do not have these boundaries nearly as much and feel a lot more free (in general) expressing what they are feeling at the moment.
Now all this could be blamed on estrogen LOL, as there are certainly other drugs (non-hormonal) that make people behave in a more emotional, sensitive, and more passive manner, but I doubt it's just the estrogen.
I think FAR too many people use the 'it's the estrogen' complaint for ANYthing a woman does or says.
Kind of similar is the fact that if you are a drug addict, EVERYTHING you do or say is automatically blamed on the drugs.