Well, lets see.
Currently, I'm 21 years old, my name is Daniel(ugh), and I live in a fairly small town in South Georgia. I began questioning who I am, at around...age 13 or 14. My parents got a divorce, and of course, the court ruled we stay we our mom..No biggie. Its then, that I discovered, I loved doing many of the things they did, and when they were out shopping or whatnot, I began to *explore*, at which, a few times my mother caught me, and the things she said..well, quite frankly, made me extremely depressed...my own mom..saying something like that?....*sigh*. When I was born, well, when I was still inside my mothers womb, the doctors thought I was female, and my parents picked out the name "Charity"(dont like that name, but oh well). Of course, when I was born, that wasnt the case, at which, my dad decided upon Daniel.
When I was little, my sisters, and some of there "girl friends" would play dressup, at which, being the only guy in the house, I was more than welcome to partake in the activities, at which, I usually did. Then of course..puberty hit..Oh man...My sisters quickly abandoned that activity, and only did it when they had "sleepovers", that I was never invited to..then, having only myself to do stuff..I watched TV, or went outside, or even played some Super Mario. I started going fishing or hunting with other guys in the family on a regular basis...at which, I tried to be as masculine as I could.
While in highschool, I thought I had the best friends a person, guy or gal, could possibly hope for. If we had problems, we comforted and supported each other, if their was a conflict, we took care of it. All the while, being extremely laid back and trying to have fun. I came out to one person who I thought was my closest friend, we had even went so much as to poke our figures and sign a contract in blood, stating we were blood brothers. Of course, after I revealed myself to him, he abandoned our friendship, and has yet to speak to me. I decided then, that this was something I needed to suppress, something I should hide...I have yet to tell anyone else. My family is extremely old fashioned, dad is a Preacher, mom worked at the hospital. Whilst, the other members of the family..Aunts, Uncles, but especially my Grandma, they despise people of difference races, and people like us..I guess they just dislike people who are *different* in general, which has made it hard for me, yet they don't even notice...
Looking back, its clear why I wanted to hide. I have very low self-esteem, and confidence, but surprisingly, my family has never offered help or support unless I was sick with a Flu or something. In my town, EVERYONE knows everyone, more or less anyway..And with it being a "hick" town. Guys are expected to work hard jobs, go fishing or hunting, get drunk and watch football. While gals are expected to be their mothers shadow, going shopping, helping with supper, and usually, working as a Student Teacher, Teacher, or a office type job. I have done all the "Guy" things, yet get almost no gratification from it. Hey, I played Football, went to the state championships, big deal? I've killed a few deers, woohooo, I've even caught a few Bass people dream about catching, and I worked in a very hard, sweaty job. As far as the "Gal" things. I love to cook, what can I say, Im not the best, but I manage. I now work at Lowe's, and while, its stressful, its easy compared to my old job. And due to my, guess I'll say Curse, simply because the burden is mine and mine alone right now, I've tried to look very masculine. I dont shave often, and Im a rather large guy by default, with an extremely deep, almost gruff, voice. And hey, it works..The people at Lowe's consider me a Grizzly Bear.
Anyway, Guess I'll explain why I want to be called Diem...About 8 months ago, I was lucky to have met a great woman, she from Thailand, was 24, and was extremely gorgeous. BUT, the things that attracted me to her...she was extremely supportive of my problems, very compassionate, not to mention, just...well...in my eyes, she was perfect. When I do transition, thats how I want to be thought of, just another very caring, compassionate woman, wouldnt mind to have a few people consider me attractive, but thats aside from the point.
Discovering these forums, I beleive, is a blessing for myself. In my eyes, the first step, is basically just knowing I have support from many people who have undergone, or are in the process of it. Typing everything I have...I'm nervous like hell just thinking about how you all will react, but the thing that scares me, is how my family will react...
Anyway..Guess I'll run for now...Good Bye Ladies, and Gents.
