So this weekend my mom and I are driving down to see my girlfriend, and I'll be spending the day with her, her mom, and my mom. I'm worried that I'm going to not pass at all. Any suggestions on how I should present myself to her mom?This may seem like a silly question, but I'm self-concious.

well will your mom refer to you as her son or her daughter? from my experience, when you're introduced to someone as male, they're not gonna doubt it, i've been in the same situation before, was introduced as the new boyfriend and the parents never doubted it.

Does your girlfriend know and her mom doesn't?

I'd just, be confident, make sure your mom has your back and it should be fine.

Why are the four of you hanging out if you don't mind my asking?

My mum is indeed behind me and she said she'll treat me as her son and call me by my preferred name. And yes, my girlfriend does indeed know while her mum does not, to my knowledge. And it's the four of us is because this is the first time I'll be in her town, and my mom doesn't want to let me roam it alone with her.

Maybe ask your girlfriend if she's told her mother?

I'd say just rock it, go in with confidence high, be more concerned with being polite than worrying about passing and I'm sure you'll do fine. Where your favorite clothes so you can feel comfortable and just, know that you're a guy. Your attitude will speak louder than your appearance.

if you have your mom to introduce you as her son and your girlfriend who has always said 'my boyfriend' ... then is there a reason that her mom will doubt that you are a boy? the most she might think is 'what a cute boy' in her head.

does your girlfriend plan on telling her mom/think her mom will be ok with it like your mom is?

i am dating an ftm (1 year, 7 mos) and i do not ever plan on telling my parents that my boyfriend is ftm. not because i don't think they can handle it, just because i don't think it's that important. the most i might ever say is that because of a birth defect, he can't father children... but maybe only that if we got married.

i know that this phrase often brings negative reactions, but in some situations 'don't ask, don't tell' really *is* the best option

Dang dude, trying to hide that sucks yeah but maybe you should really ask your girlfriend if her mom knows about it. If her mom does not know then just be chill about it. You do act like the dude you are inside most of the time anyway right? So it shouldn't be any different just because her mom is around. Lucky for you, you do have your mom who is willing to call you her son. So I would say just be you dude. Don't think too much into it.

Today was the day we met up. When we all met I didn't know whether or not her mom knew. But we all continued, I tried to act as calm as I could, and I was just me. Nothing was really said about me being trans. When my mom and I got back to our hotel room, I had discovered that my girlfriend had told her mom that I was trans yesterday. It upsets me though, that even though I came out to my mom in May of last year, and she fails to even comes to terms that I'm dating a girl, she told me that if we were to kiss today, that she'd have a problem with it. She say's that we're only long distance friends. Oh well, I know what me and her have though so whether she accepts this or not, that doesn't determine our relationship. Thank you all for the advice, I greatly appreciate it.  🙂