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Crazy Mom Lets 7-Year-Old Son Become a Girl (VIDEO)

Started by Shana A, March 03, 2011, 09:23:43 AM

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Shana A

Crazy Mom Lets 7-Year-Old Son Become a Girl (VIDEO)
Posted by Janelle Harris
on March 2, 2011 at 5:52 PM

http://thestir.cafemom.com/big_kid/116944/crazy_mom_lets_her_7yearold

What if your 7-year-old son liked to wear sequined dresses, preferred to play with Barbies instead of WWE action figures, and wanted to be referred to by a girl's name instead of a boy's? Where would you stand? How would you feel?

Lisa Ling's new show, Our America, on the Oprah Winfrey Network, introduced the country to a first grader in "Transgender Child: A Parent's Difficult Choice." His parents named him Harry. But when Harry was 5, he decided he wanted to be called Hailey because he felt more like a girl than a boy. His mom and dad, not knowing quite what to do, indulged his request.

Now the child has completely taken on the identity of a little girl.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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joshany12

good on her knowing what she wanted that early, and good on her parents being as supportive as they are XD
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joshany12

on futher inspection, this article in incredibly negative about the family. they refer to the mom as crazy (no mention of father figure at all), as well as assuming someone doesnt know what gender they felt. i know if i at that age had had the freedom to express myself freely it wouldnt have taken me 19 years to make this desision,and almost left it too late for me to smoothly transition (still undergoing puberty.
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spacial

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joshany12

i saw it by using a program that hides my country, ill try download and re-upload it for those of us outside the US.
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Joelene9

  At least the non-Jerry Springer press is showing this condition more these days. Back in the late 50's and early 60's when I grew up, this was unheard of.  The children that had GID were taken to a therapist to evaluate and then try to steer them to their born sex.  Most of us that had GID at the time stayed mum about it due to the parental and peer pressures at that time.  I see quite a few of us on Susan's that lived through that era.  I was taken to a therapist when I was still in elementary school.  I was that skinny kid that others took advantage of and I didn't get along with others that well.  I did not tell the therapist of my desire to be a girl though, she evidently didn't pick that up either. The pressures "to be a man" back then were too great to admit this to anyone, including God!   
  As with children such as Haley and Jazz, they are getting the better treatment for this condition than we had as adults.  One of my therapists in the late 70's wanted me to exorcise this condition.  However, the parents should not be too accomodating to this with their very young GID children.  Certain rules should be set e.g, wearing the proper clothes at school, church and certain family functions.  I mentioned "school" because some parochial schools and school districts still have no provision for crossdressing as a therapy for GID.  These rules should be in place for the very young because some of them may change their mind.  That change should be the the decision of that child, on his or her own and in their own time, and not be 'guided' nor cajoled into it!
  A healing Joelene-
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LordKAT

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 03, 2011, 02:32:55 PM
parents should not be too accomodating to this with their very young GID children.  Certain rules should be set e.g, wearing the proper clothes at school, church and certain family functions.  I mentioned "school" because some parochial schools and school districts still have no provision for crossdressing as a therapy for GID.  These rules should be in place for the very young because some of them may change their mind.  That change should be the the decision of that child, on his or her own and in their own time, and not be 'guided' nor cajoled into it!
  A healing Joelene-

I question what you call proper clothes. If a child is born male  and ID's as female, do you think the proper clothes involve a suit or a dress?
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Joelene9

Proper clothes, that depends on the situation.  There are some situations and people not accomodating to crossdressing and the birth sex of the child is known to those.  Remember, I said this of the very young (birth-8, depending on physical and mental development), not the older child, society may have to put up with those. The young child's brain is still developing at a rapid rate and they are learning the rules of human society that will take them to the rest of their lives. The dress code is one of them.  There are some companies abolishing casual Fridays and having a more rigid dress code with non-op crossdressers being amongst the first fired during layoffs, even when no bias can be proven in those cases.  This is the world we now live in.
Joelene
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regan

I watched the show the other night.  Aside from the fact that it trucks out the usual narrative on the transgendered child, Haley does appear to be a well adjusted normal girl.  I don't see any problem with that.  I think Jolene's approach is more appropriate to children like Princess Boy who do not have a fixed gender expression.  Even if Haley changes her mind, if wearing a dress to school is how this child learns best then we have an obligation to support that.

As for the writer who proudly stated she allowed her child to dress herself (pick out her own clothes), I'd imagine she allows her daughter to wear jeans however gender variant that may be.
Our biograhies are our own and we need to accept our own diversity without being ashamed that we're somehow not trans enough.
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LordKAT

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 03, 2011, 03:30:33 PM
Proper clothes, that depends on the situation.  There are some situations and people not accomodating to crossdressing and the birth sex of the child is known to those.  Remember, I said this of the very young (birth-8, depending on physical and mental development), not the older child, society may have to put up with those. The young child's brain is still developing at a rapid rate and they are learning the rules of human society that will take them to the rest of their lives. The dress code is one of them.  There are some companies abolishing casual Fridays and having a more rigid dress code with non-op crossdressers being amongst the first fired during layoffs, even when no bias can be proven in those cases.  This is the world we now live in.
Joelene

You side stepped the question with a non answer. Practicing for political office?
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rejennyrated

@jolene9 when you talk about the young child needing rules about certain situations I must disagree. Thankfully when I was a child my mother decided to make a non issue of all this and allowed me pretty well complete freedom. The only result was a relatively early transition and me growing up with none of the hangups or other psychological issues that many transpeople have.
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Cindy

I've posted this in other threads

   
Making Girls and Boys: Inside the science of sex

Jane McCredie ,
9781742231006, New South, February 2011, 224pp, PB , 234x153mm
Availability: Plenty
Price: AUD$34.95 (AUD$31.77 ex-tax) NZD$44.95
Booksellers Discount Code: General   
 
What is it that makes a person a boy or a girl? From our cradles to our graves, a pair of letters, either XX or XY, will define much of our lives. "It's a girl!" or "It's a boy!" will be the first label applied to us, the first thing said about who we are as an individual. For every person in every society, gender has a fundamental affect on what we choose, how we live, and how we think about the world and how the world sees us. Sex is one of the most powerfully defining concepts that we have.
Of course, we assume that we know what this gender thing is: boys are boys, girls are girls. Sex is fixed, biologically determined, simple. But what if it isn't?
As Jane McCredie moves from laboratories to café tables, trying to find out exactly what sex is, the picture becomes much more complicated. Evolutionary psychologists, trans-gendered people, children playing with trucks and dolls, hormone specialists – they all have different stories to tell about what makes us girls and boys. These stories force us to stop and ask, 'is it really so straightforward?' Are we all really just stamped out in blue and pink? Leading us on a remarkable exploration of the ground where biology and culture meet, intertwine and ultimately blur, this book examines the new science which is helping us answer these important questions. Showing that we are far from "opposite" sexes, Making Girls and Boys will challenge everything you thought you knew about men and women.


Since the youngster is 5 yrs old she would have identified with her gender for about 2 years.

I have no financial or any other input into this publication BTW. :laugh:

I'm also fascinated by two close colleagues who have had their first babies at about the same time, well 1 day difference. OK a scientific expt can't use a n=1 but. One is male one is female. OK they get dressed in little boy and little girl clothes but their nature to the world is totally different.  Are we training 12 month olds to be boys and girls or is it totally natural. OK I and I think everyone else will say it's totally natural. So if a baby boy acts and responds as female, and a baby girl acts and responds as male; what do we do? And when do we do it? In hind site I can say I should have had SRS when I was born, OK I know I'm over the top, But when realistically do we make a call. I have a friend whose son wore and adored nail polish for years of his early life. He is definitely male. Do we seek council for boys who want to wear skirts and dresses, because their sisters do? Do we seek council for girls who want to pee standing up because her brothers do?   This is a very difficult area.  'Normal' people ( I hate that as well, I am normal) never think about these issues. It's only later when you realise that you have been sexually mis-identified that these issues and ideas arise.


As many of you know, I think with my fingers. I'm happy to debate this topic. I'm particularly interested when people think when and why we should intervene in a childs' sexual versus gender outlook.  Should we? If so what do we do?
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spacial

At the risk of harping the same tune, I take the position, in the case of children, that it's about self expression.

If, allowing children to express their appearance differently from their gender norm, is going to make them confused and gay, then we would expect to see many more confused, gay women.

If this is only a problem for little boys, then perhaps we need to look at why little boys are so insecure with themselves that they need their gender enforced in a way that isn't necessary for little girls.

When I was small, I recall young girls being quite proud of being quite flattered with being tom boys. While a young boy being called a cissy was an insulting putdown. I rather liked the idea of being a cissy, though I didn't understand the modern conotation of course, but peer pressure meant I had to resist it.

I believe that the problem is more acute for young boys. They need their gender reinforced because society continues to view young boys as potential warriors. I don't accept that most young men want to or are capable of killing. They are forced into this role, by up bringing and the state.

More, competitivness is a personality trait. It seems to affect females as much as male. Competitive females are generally pushed back as being too pushy. (Women should be demuir and submissive). But many, most people, boys and girls, are not naturaly competitive. For many, it is a learnt behaviour. That is the source of so much disturbance among young adults, expecially substance abuse, especially alcohol.
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regan

Human beings by their nature are competitive.  Boys are socialized to be more open about their competitiveness, but women's sports are not about cooperation.  A fremeny is purely a woman's domain.  Women climbing the corporate ladder are cutthroat with eachother (their competition).  As much as boys are encouraged to be competitive, that same nature is trained out of girls.

School districts have an obligation (legally) to educate children in an environment in which they are capable of learning.  There is a legal obligation to modify the school environment to adapt to a child's learning style.  If a male bodied student needs to present as a girl at school and vice versa, the school has an obligation to create an enviroment in which that is possible.  Accomodation may mean a private bathroom for the child and other such accomodations (being excused from gym class, etc), but the school has an obligation to educate all students, not just the gender normative ones.

I do think it should be viewed as a last resort, that it is a path to follow when all other interventions have failed.
Our biograhies are our own and we need to accept our own diversity without being ashamed that we're somehow not trans enough.
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justmeinoz

If the child is adamant that they are a girl, at that age, and happy and secure, and the parents are coping ok, I think everyone else should just take a chill pill and relax. 
If this is just a develpomental phase the child will pass through it,  if it is not they have a head  start on socialising as a girl, prior to puberty and HRT etc.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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spacial

I understand that humans are comeptitive by nature. I should perhaps, have been clearer.

I was referring to the personality trait, where some people are particularly comeptitive while others less so. (Have to choose my words here. Being competitive is one of those traits that is often seens as being something to be proud of).

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juliekins

Having read the comments that followed the article, it was interesting again to witness an interesting fact. 90% of the negative posts were from those self identifying as Christian. They all used God and Bible verses as much of their basis of opinion. One woman even said that bullying and physical intimidation against this child in school should straighten 'him' out. Nice, huh? I believe many ignorant and sometimes religious parents/teachers look the other way to bullying and violence against LGBT kids. These parents, school board members and administrators believe that kids will 'correct' this misguided, gender confused child.

My question still stands-where can we send all of these bigoted parents? Which island in the middle of the ocean?
"I don't need your acceptance, just your love"
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: Joelene9 on March 03, 2011, 02:32:55 PM
  However, the parents should not be too accomodating to this with their very young GID children.  Certain rules should be set e.g, wearing the proper clothes at school, church and certain family functions.  I mentioned "school" because some parochial schools and school districts still have no provision for crossdressing as a therapy for GID.  These rules should be in place for the very young because some of them may change their mind.  That change should be the the decision of that child, on his or her own and in their own time, and not be 'guided' nor cajoled into it!
  A healing Joelene-

It's Anti-Gender Expression Transsexual to the rescue. 

The proper clothes for someone who is female identified are female clothes.  Teaching a female identified child that male clothes are proper clothes is going to just make them think there is something wrong with being trans. 


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justmeinoz

Juliekins-not my island thanks! Maybe just half way to an island in the middle of the Pacific.  >:-)
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Cindy

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