Hello everyone.

I discovered this site several days ago, and have been popping back and forth since then, and today I finally got up the courage to create an account and post.

I am a 43 year old (although in reality very young) 'Female' trapped in a male host.

My host hasnt really been aware of me for his entire life, but over the last two weeks due to some news items, chats with people and a whole lot of soul searching, he woke up and realised what has been 'different' about him all these years, why he didn't feel he 'fit in', why he was so unhappy, why he was so 'ill' with life and finally realised that I was within him... calling 

My story is long, and I still don't have all the facts, so am not going to post much more for now.

However, I do know now that there is a road I must travel, how far I get along it remains to be seen, but this is one of the first faltering steps along it.


Miss Placed

Cute nick! Miss Placed,

Welcome to susans! I too lived many years miss placed and in denial. susans is a very cool place to learn about youself by reading and interacting with others here.


Lets visit,

DebTV

Hi DebTV and thank you 

I just realised that I should have posted this in the Introductions section 

Hi Miss Placed,

I wouldn't worry to much about where you have posted the important thing is that you have taken the opportunity to become part of Susans by taking the first step and posting.

I thinkyou'll find this place full of lovely peole willing to help you along the road to where your going. You'll also find the WIKI helpful as it's full of information and terminology.

So I hope you, like me, enjoy your time here with us at Susans.

Shelley 

Welcome to Susans, Miss Placed. 

All of us have had to come to recognition of whom we really were.  Some found out young, some when older.  But we do all finally figure it out.

Then the big thing is to move forward, and I am happy you have decided to come out and find out more about who you really are.

Sarah

Hi Shelley and Sarah Louise,

From the posts I have looked at over the last few days I could see that this was a kind and caring community, hence part of the confidence to post.

I meant to mention in my reply to DebTV that I do in fact have proper chosen female name, Miss Placed is a temporary name.

However, I am beng ultra ultra careful at the moment, as I don't want to come 'out', or be 'outed' by anyone else, just yet anyway.

My chosen female name is one that I have used for a number of female characters that I have played in several Massively Multiplayer Online Games (ie EverQuest, World of Warcraft etc), over the last 5 years, and it is an unusual spelling.

I thought that knowing my luck someone would spot it and it would be someone I knew. Yes, I am being paranoid :p

Hopefully one day I can drop Miss Placed and use my chosen name.

Hello there Miss Placed,

May I take my turn and welcome you to Susan's as well.  As the others have already mentioned, you will find Susan's to be a great place to hang out, chat and meet new friends.  Don't be afraid to join in the forums, and be sure to post any questions that you may have.  You will find that if it's one thing that we are full of, and that's "Advice" 

Your confidentiality will be respected here, so you should feel safe in your postings, but be aware that your internet travels can be monitored by those who wish too, so be sure to clear out the "history" in the web browser that you are using.

So relax, browse around, and be sure to read the rules.

Again welcome, and I'm sure we'll chat later 

Steph

Hi Miss Placed,

Well I couldn't think of a more appropriate thing for your first post than to be misplaced. 
Welcome to Susan's. I think you will like it here. So let me give you my traditional welcome.
Fix yourself a cup of tea, or other relaxing beverage, sit down, take your shoes off and set a spell.

Good Journey,

Cassie

Hi Stephanie and Cassandra,

Thank you both for your welcome.

QuoteWell I couldn't think of a more appropriate thing for your first post than to be misplaced.

Yes, rather apt wasn't it 

Quotebut be aware that your internet travels can be monitored by those who wish too, so be sure to clear out the "history" in the web browser that you are using

I got hold of a copy of CyberScrub and have a bit of background in IT, but thank you for the warning

Amazing thing happened today, I came 'out' to my dad, he was fantastic, and even shared with me a secret of his own.... seems I have a half-brother not much younger than I 

My father is a great guy, he was for many years a Relationship Councillor, I would never have opened up to him at such an early stage if he wasnt who he was.

I feel a lot better for it.

Hello Missplaced.

That's really good news about your dad, he sounds like a wonderful person.  It's so important to be honest and up front, as it will prevent a lot of problems in the future.  Of course you have to be very carefull on your timing, and how and who you are coming out to, as the consequences could be tragic.  On the possitive side though, it is a great relief when you do come out to different people and they accept you.  I know that I felt that great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  Just remember that one of the most important keys to all of this is communication.

Chat later

Steph

Great to her about your Dad Miss Placed,

It's really helpful to be able to come out to someone and not all find acceptance inthose we come out to.

Don't worry about the name thing, we do what we have to to protect ourselves and it doesn't matter to us here what you call yourself just as long as your happy with it. The important this is that your here and joining in.

Shelley

Yeah I feel really good about telling my Dad, although I will admit late last night I felt a bit 'odd' about it, that maybe I should not have done, but in the cold hard light of day I am now cool with it.

The news about the half-brother still hasn't sunk in though, always knew me old Dad was a bit of handsome devil, the old rogue 

My emotions are on a rollercoaster atmo. One minute I feel like jumping up and down for joy full of excitement over the amazing things the future could hold for me, the next I feel really low when I think I may never have the drive, determination, guts and self respect to move forward. I've had bad mood swings over the last few years, but not as bad as this.

My parents jet off for two weeks holiday (vacation) tomorrow, I may just spend the entire two weeks laying naked on the floor and screaming my head off! 

I started a blog at blogspot, but am not entirely happy with their set up. A friend uses Livejournal. Anyone else got any recomendations for 'TG safe' blog providers? I do admin some websites of my own, and have an hosting account, but would rather use a third party atmo.

Anyway, time I stopped being lazy and created a proper signature!

Well, there is always the blogs section here in a pinch

Hello there Miss Placed,

QuoteMy emotions are on a rollercoaster atmo. One minute I feel like jumping up and down for joy full of excitement over the amazing things the future could hold for me, the next I feel really low when I think I may never have the drive, determination, guts and self respect to move forward. I've had bad mood swings over the last few years, but not as bad as this.

I think everyone here can relate to that rollercoaster.  Once you get on it's kinda hard to get off, unless you're brave enough to jump.  Just be patient, and wait till it slows down then decide on how you would like to/need to go.

You have a lot of decisions to make that could have a dramatic effect on your future.  So as you mentioned in your first post, get all the facts that you need and then start from there.

Chat later

Steph