I am new to this site and forum, so please forgive me if I am posting in the wrong area.

So...I realized who I really was almost 2 years ago. Since then, I'm still acting. I am trying to establish steady income so that I can move forward with me, but here in California right now, it's pretty difficult. As of right now, I'm working in advertising and am looking to bartend as well.

I would like to get some advice on how I can be me and move forward, without losing what I am trying to work out. Feeling like a big change is necessary though. I really feel as though I should really focus on me and my GF and what really matters in life, but a job and income is sooooo hard to give up and move on.

Take your time Bethy. Beleive me when I say, this is the place for support.

Welcome in Bethy! as long as you're an MtF, you're on the right place to post anything you feel like talking about, sorry if i cant be realy helpfull about your issue, i dint realy start transition either and i'm in canada so i dont have to be worried about income for that <.<

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BUT YOU CAN DO IT! <3   good luck in that and you better post again about whatever you feel like talking

If you're permanently employed with insurance benefits, you should begin seeing a qualified gender therapist to help you understand and act on your feminine feelings in a responsible manner that is beneficial to your personal growth.  You don't want to "stall out" and delay acting on your needs. 

Oh, and WELCOME!!

I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but if your TS and you want to transition, you have to be willing to give up everything that you hold dear.

Transition isn't a maybe kind of thing, its an all or nothing kind of thing and is the hardest decision you will make in your life.  If your not ready to lose your family, friends, relationships, career, and yes even your life.  Then transitioning should be put off, because you could lose any or all of those things while doing it, and the results of which are uncertain, although you can scew them in your favor with things like youth and taking care of yourself.

So what do you get out of it? Well, for those that make it out of transition you definitely become a stronger person, the problems the world throws at you are simple in comparison of what you just went through.  You also get an inner peace that is just about the most satisfying feeling you could ever get.  Externally however it doesnt fix anything and in fact makes your life more difficult, so if your expecting it to fix all thats wrong with you life that is not the case, it will just fix the conflict inside you which make it easier for you to deal with the outside world since you dont have to fight yourself and your nature constantly.

Was it worth it?
Yep, for me, i have never felt as good as  i do now after living over a year and a half as a woman.  There was a time i would have given the rest of my life for just 1 day... to think i lived for over a year and half so far... and it keeps getting better.

So please take transitioning as seriously as possible, and should you choose to, give 100% of everything you got to making it successful is my only advise.

Just want to say welcome....Lots of good people that understand well..Good luck and be blessed.
Hugs, Christy

Welcome! You definitely found the right place. When people ask me where to start, I usually suggest seeing a gender-specialized therapist....someone with whom you can use to help you explore these feelings and see how far the rabbit hole goes

Hey Bethy, a milestone had been achieved, you know with certainty who you are and want to start to get the rest of you on the plan, awesome girl!
First things first, you are already you, just on the inside, gender therapy helps to establish continuity and peace of mind to some degree. Then hormone regimen to allow body to morph into what mind already sees. All that will take necessary steps, and without a "good" professional help it is nearly impossible to achieve. It does not have to be expensive aether, talk to therapists and if you like what you hear tell them your situation and I am pretty sure most will not refuse to work with you because of few less dollars, I know, I've been there. As the girls point out our task of transition is one of the hardest things anyone can undergo and still come out the other end unscathed.
Wish you strength, all the love you can get, and lots of hairs, cause you'll be pulling some in the process:)

Quote from: Izumi on March 10, 2011, 10:34:00 AM
I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but if your TS and you want to transition, you have to be willing to give up everything that you hold dear.

Transition isn't a maybe kind of thing, its an all or nothing kind of thing and is the hardest decision you will make in your life.  If your not ready to lose your family, friends, relationships, career, and yes even your life.  Then transitioning should be put off, because you could lose any or all of those things while doing it, and the results of which are uncertain, although you can scew them in your favor with things like youth and taking care of yourself.

I couldn't disagree more.  I believe everyone must start a transition.  Maybe not to living in the opposite gender of birth but all of the steps that transitioning takes can help others.  It's can be a journey, not a destination.

I was afraid of talking about it, afraid of coming out, and afraid of being on a runaway train.  I was afraid of ending up a freak to society and a "guy in a dress."

I told my family, my wife, my friends, my employees, and no one cares.  Totally anticlimactic. My therapist and doctor put my on HRT with not concerns about whether I knew where I am going or not.

If I find myself wanting to go all the way..great.  If I don't..great.  Either way every single step I've taken on this road, this forum, coming out, talking to a therapist, talking to doctors, has put me more in touch with myself and made me a better and happier person.

Some people are going to have it very hard, some people are going to have it a lot easier..but everyone must transition.  Maybe to a woman..maybe just to a better person.   Every part of the country is different.  Every social group is different. 

Bethy.  Get started.  Go to a GREAT therapist and spill.  If you're working you may be covered.  I haven't had to pay for a thing yet, insurance covers 10 months of therapy and hrt.  (no copay)   You don't have to know where you're going but you should reach out for help from people who will give you the best support and advice to make the most honest, non obsessive, non desperation drive...decisions that will give you a better life.

Quote from: japple on March 10, 2011, 09:34:37 PM
I couldn't disagree more.  I believe everyone must start a transition.  Maybe not to living in the opposite gender of birth but all of the steps that transitioning takes can help others.  It's can be a journey, not a destination.

I was afraid of talking about it, afraid of coming out, and afraid of being on a runaway train.  I was afraid of ending up a freak to society and a "guy in a dress."

I told my family, my wife, my friends, my employees, and no one cares.  Totally anticlimactic. My therapist and doctor put my on HRT with not concerns about whether I knew where I am going or not.

If I find myself wanting to go all the way..great.  If I don't..great.  Either way every single step I've taken on this road, this forum, coming out, talking to a therapist, talking to doctors, has put me more in touch with myself and made me a better and happier person.

Some people are going to have it very hard, some people are going to have it a lot easier..but everyone must transition.  Maybe to a woman..maybe just to a better person.   Every part of the country is different.  Every social group is different. 

Bethy.  Get started.  Go to a GREAT therapist and spill.  If you're working you may be covered.  I haven't had to pay for a thing yet, insurance covers 10 months of therapy and hrt.  (no copay)   You don't have to know where you're going but you should reach out for help from people who will give you the best support and advice to make the most honest, non obsessive, non desperation drive...decisions that will give you a better life.

^ This

Go for it, honey!

The others above have told you how.  By the way, I'm totally on board with JAPPLE and JERICA as above.  In the beginning, I had built this whole transition thing into SUCH a big ordeal and trial.  Guess what?  It's not. 

Like the Nike commercial says:  Just Do It.

Like JAPPLE above, I'm finding that most people just don't give a darn.  They are too wrapped up in their own lives to interfere with yours.  Of course, stay away from possible dangerous people and situations.  Just be you. 

JERICA above has had a great transition for what I know of it, and you can to. 

Know that we are here for you.  You've found your crew.

Peace & Happiness to You       Lacey Lynne

Thank you all so much!

It's nice to talk to others about all of this. Yeah, when I first realized who I was, I told my gf and my best friend. Gf had a bit of a hard time but I think we're fine now. I was very worried about my friend of 17 years...he didn't care. Such a relief.

Such wonderful advice and believe me, I truly appreciate all of you.

I have decided that my next steps are getting some money together and finding a therapist (professional to talk to) in my area.

<3 Bethy

I'm currently in a similar situation, I am just out of college from last spring and am currently back living at home with my parents for the time being. My last year has been very difficult and I just came to accept it all last October. I need to start acting on my feelings and exploring also, however I am not quite at the point yet to come out of the closet yet to everyone and especially those I am close to, with friends it is a lot easier though. I'm planning on moving to Ottawa sometime this spring and once I am back on my own and living in a larger city it will be a lot easier to explore. I am planning on seeing a gender therapist as soon as I can. But right now being stuck with parents it is not going to happen until I am on my own, and it is driving me nuts. I'm a totally repressed person and it hurts infinately. All these years I tried to cope by cutting out anything feminine from my life, I was an only child and thus did not have a feminine roll model, at the same time my mom was always kind of "Tomboyish" so it wasn't until I was 14 that I started to get suspicious and then "denial denial denial" but here I am today a more open and accepting person who hopefully one day will be able to experience transition and the joys and pains that come with it. Right now I am also majorly depressed some of it related to this, and a lot about career, money and lack of friends. I am a total recluse at the moment and need to at least blossom a bit before I can journey on my road. My reasons for doing this are mostly social reasons as well as the whole feeling trapped in the wrong body thing. But I need to know I am safe, and have some security before I will leap into the water. I have to be able to adapt to the feminine role and let go of all that old armor that has been repressing me. I am so inhibited it is aweful. My whole life seems to have been about keeping silent and hiding, becoming withdrawn and isolated.