I just got an e-mail from my therapist, the Ph.D. she works for would like to come in and have a talk with me on next Thursday. I'm excited!

What I also know is that I'm ahead of the curve. I started therapy just before joining Susan's and becoming a serial poster. So, that makes it right around 1.5 months of therapy instead of the traditional three. My therapist said that I am an amazing woman, an incredibly fascinating transgendered person, and one that's very realistic regarding the possible outcomes of HRT. The fact that I stare at the hardships that transition may cause straight in the face without blinking gives her confidence.

Regarding that, I don't really have a choice. I was ready to crash and burn this male body hard. I was looking forward to a heart attack by forty, I even had a quarter million dollar life insurance policy prepared for the benefit of my baby because I KNEW I would die young. HRT gives me hope and it scares me at the same time. I'm going to enjoy living to the fullest for the first time in god knows how long, but I will have to sit and explain why it was that I just didn't really enjoy living - baby, good job, wife, facade and all. Ah well, I'm ready to swim, as they say! It will be difficult, and it will undoubtedly be totally awesome. Wish me luck!

Rock on, Emma.  You will begin the downward slope of the roller coaster call transition.

Sorry about the no update- it turns out that the doc was not in. I didn't want to appear as though I'm in a massive hurry and making a rush decision though (I've only been wanting to do this for years  ), so I didn't fuss. My meeting was moved to March 8th.

Ahhh, the waiting game

The waiting is the hardest. It is kind of funny to think back on my early posts here. I was complaining about things taking so long. Since about January, I feel like I have been strapped to a rocket! Everyone said things would pick up and boy were they right!

Hi Emma


9 days left to count.....only 9 days( sound not as long as more than 8 days)
You'll get there girl, you'll get there.

stay strong, patience and healthy.

hugs

annette

Quote from: EmmaM on February 27, 2011, 01:26:35 PM
Sorry about the no update- it turns out that the doc was not in. I didn't want to appear as though I'm in a massive hurry and making a rush decision though (I've only been wanting to do this for years  ), so I didn't fuss. My meeting was moved to March 8th.

My endo appointment is on March 8th too.  I'm totally going to race you now.

Thanks Melody and Annette!

Japple: Sadly, it's not the endo. It's just the Psych giving me my letter. It's okay, you can have the head start, you'll need it girlie! 

Wishing you some small measure of patience.  Once you have the letter and start HRT, you'll do nothing but blossom and flower beautifully.  I'm absolutely certain of it. 

Thanks Caith 

Dangit! The appt. is to ask me about going more full time. (Which is okay, I guess)

I told the counselor: I'm wearing a wig, my voice sounds like hell from some weird throat condition, I still have facial hair, and my wife's ignorant family is surrounding me throughout the area I live in (and they're the violent types, and I have to come out to them still). If you take any two of those away I'll be full time the second I step through this office door.

I don't get it. I can function fine as a woman, I don't have to prove that to myself, I've lived it. I left the office as Emma and went to the liquor store, held a conversation with the cashier, came back, and made several more friends in the office.

At least we addressed my anxiety. I do love my counselor, and I will continue to go even after the letter is issued; I'm just chipping away at these standards of care and it's slow. I understand the idea, and I will respect the procedure...

At least one more month of counseling. Just one more. Where's the sighing face? Gotta stop thinking like a little kid "I WANT! I WANT!" 

Holy monkey I have a headache.

Posted about this in the MTF forum, but I got it! Calling docs tomorrow 

Good luck! It is a thrill, but still a roller coaster ride.

Bye-the-way, if that is a pic of you, you are a very beautiful woman.

That's me!  Thanks!