Hi.
Coming out to people is very hard. You don't know how they will react and you don't know if the friends and loved ones will be there after they've absorbed the news.
I have been slowly procrastinating telling my friends about my transition for months. Yesterday, I decided I would torture myself again and start sending out some messages. I sent a message to one friend that I've known for probably 20 years but I've not seen in 15 years as she lives several thousand miles away.
She is very opinionated when it comes to politics and she can have a very conservative streak in her at times. Below is the message she sent to me:
QuoteDear <My New Chosen Name>,
I chose you as a friend because of your beautiful soul - the container/gender and the name you choose is irrelevant to me - you are still who you are and that is who my friend is. So no talk of "unfriending" or other such nonsense! I won't say anything until you're ready to come out. I know Seattle is a very open city, but you should come visit me again in San Francisco!
I think you're very brave to come to this conclusion and to let people know - it must be very difficult and I really admire you! You have my full support.
Love xxxxx :-)
This came within a minute of me sending my message to her. It made me cry a bit knowing that she was so accepting of me. She later sent this to me:
QuoteJust wanted to also let you know that I'm proud to be the friend of someone who is brave enough to examine and face her own soul - most people never do. I also know that <deceased friend of ours>, if she were here, would say the same thing. Ok, if you've got better legs than I do, can I secretly hate you?
This was sent a few hours later. This made me feel even warmer inside because she had time to absorb the decision and choice I was making and develop a real feeling on it.
The reason why I wanted to share this on the forum is because we sometimes get so bogged down with the negative ramifications of our choices. So many people have lost so much because of their choice to transition. That seems to be the only thing we ever seem to see on this forum.
There are people out there who love you for the person you are. They don't care about the organs between your legs or how you dress. They love YOU for who you are in your heart. There WILL be those that stop communicating with you, or decide your their new religious project. But there will be SO MANY OTHERS who just want you to be happy and feel loved.
Those are the people you need to embrace. Lament the loss of the superficial folks who can't accept your soul, but move on and embrace those who love you for the person you are.
I think that's what I was wanting to share, so I'll end my post here.
Peace,
-E
