Heath made a thread about getting more attention from gay/bi men and it had me thinking about something that I've discussed with one of my friends who is gay and (as far as I know) doesn't know I am trans.

I've noticed that I am more annoyed with women than I was before. I think because when I was living as a lesbian woman I tried not to make it completely obvious and had a lot of female friends. That seemed to make it easier to instantly gain trust with women. When women walked by me they didn't tend to give me a look and when I waited at a bus stop they would ask when the bus came.

Now it seems whenever I walk by women sometimes I will glance over for a second and then see that they have this look like they are thinking "ew why are you looking at me" kind of thing. Whenever I am out somewhere and am polite saying please and thank you most women are very short and "whatever" still, like they don't even buy it. And when I am walking down the street I hate being behind a girl because I can tell she is walking faster. There is this girl at my work who is a skinny blonde and all the guys want her and I could care less but she'll make conversation with all the guys but I find I keep it short because I don't want her to think I am drooling over her.

I feel like no matter where I go or what I do that women always assume I am hitting on them or trying to creep on them. It's really annoying. It's not like they are questioning if I am trans or not because I have facial hair and a male voice so I know it's not about that. Is it maybe that I look young and dress like a high school kid maybe? Is it just because I am a male in society and women are just like that? Do I look like all the other douche bags? Or am I really that much of a woman repeller? (Not that I want to attract women) I just don't want a "hello" to come across as "I want in your pants".

I get annoyed by women, because I don't understand them and the way they communicate. I just don't understand it even thought I was raised as a female. I think like a male so that is probably why. All the people who have hurt me deeply in life were female. Teachers, friends, family and exes and they were all women. Yeah some guys have upset me but we would wind up cussing eachother out and we would get over it.

I also get annoyed with them because the women around me try to treat me like "one of them", well the ones that know I am female do anyways. It is annoying as all get out. I don't look or act anything like them so what makes them think I want to be recognized as one? I very much enjoy their company but I am not a female.

Yeah I totally get that too. Some of my female friends who know about me and are mutal friends with my twin sister will be like "heyy lets have a girls night! ohh... but I guess you don't want to come... or do you?" like they feel weird, guilty or uncomfortable with leaving me out. If they saw me as a guy that wouldn't even be a question.

Quote from: Mr.Rainey on March 16, 2011, 12:11:54 AM
I get annoyed by women, because I don't understand them and the way they communicate. I just don't understand it even thought I was raised as a female. I think like a male so that is probably why.

Got you completely on that one lol. I found it a lot easier to listen to women bitch and complain and not say how i felt before T, but now my disinterest and irritation over female babble/bitchiness whatever it is, shows no matter how hard i try to hide it. My fiance is constantly getting on me about not listening to her or how I could at least pretend to care about this purse she wants to get. I love women but am finding it harder and harder to hang out with female friends versus male friends.

It's just part of being a guy.

Yeah that's true. It's just weird.

Thatman: hahahah my girlfriend does the exact same thing. I always thought it was a stereotype for guys not to listen but I've gotten so much worse about it.

I have a female friend at my work who is one that I can stand (besides my girlfriend). She is really open and says whatever she wants and isn't a snob. But she is also a bisexual who well "gets around". This causes problems because my girlfriend hates when I talk about her but then she will tell me to invite her over. It's stupid mind game crap. I have no interest in my friend and she doesn't know about me and doesn't hit on me or anything.

yeah what is up with the mind game ->-bleeped-<-? why the hell to women say one thing when they know that they mean another? I have NEVER done that ->-bleeped-<- even before transition, just the other day my girl read into something I said and I basically explained to her that I say wtf I mean period, but apparently I was kind of an ->-bleeped-<- about it lol. But i just dont get why they do that ->-bleeped-<-.

I know, I can't wrap my head around it.

I never did that either but it's funny how when we explain ->-bleeped-<- before girls never really said anything about it but now we are ->-bleeped-<-s.

My girlfriend has called me an ->-bleeped-<- more than I can count since I was about 1 year on T.

yeah i guess it just proves they think all guys are ->-bleeped-<-s lol. my mom even got me a shirt the says "I am an ->-bleeped-<-; if you don't want your feelings hurt don't talk to me". Everytime i turn around either my girl or my ma or some other female is telling me i'm an insensitive ->-bleeped-<-. Oh well, I'm a happy insensitive ->-bleeped-<- lol

This thread is hilarous. I can relate to you guys. I haven't started on T yet but I have a hard time understanding why women get mad over the littlest things. If they ask how they look, God forbid you say the wrong thing. You can't win. And if you don't compliment them on their hair when they just got it cut or permed or whatever - look out.

Troy

Quote from: Thatman on March 16, 2011, 12:37:40 AM
Everytime i turn around either my girl or my ma or some other female is telling me i'm an insensitive ->-bleeped-<-. Oh well, I'm a happy insensitive ->-bleeped-<- lol

Hahahah exactly. My girlfriend is actually moving out because "I don't pay enough attention to her". She wants to see how often I will go out of my way to see her now.

Quote from: TroyRyne on March 16, 2011, 12:40:14 AM
This thread is hilarous. I can relate to you guys. I haven't started on T yet but I have a hard time understanding why women get mad over the littlest things. If they ask how they look, God forbid you say the wrong thing. You can't win. And if you don't compliment them on their hair when they just got it cut or permed or whatever - look out.

Troy

Hahahah yeah. I just thought guys were full of crap when they said this stuff. But now I have a girlfriend who makes me feel exactly like they do.

I guess they will always going to be social tension between men & women, some women just dont trust men or vice versa , because of their history with them, its hard to gain that kind of trust when you have been burnt to many times.

QuoteI also get annoyed with them because the women around me try to treat me like "one of them", well the ones that know I am female do anyways. It is annoying as all get out. I don't look or act anything like them so what makes them think I want to be recognized as one? I very much enjoy their company but I am not a female.

Yeah i know. Its very frustracting when people try to force a gender identity on you. i don't know, but some mean spirited women will act like you are selling out to the other "team", abandoning them, and in turn they will act resentful and cold toward you for transitioning. Fortunately not all women are like this.

I don't know I think in my case its hard for them because even tho i was never "sensitive" I had the ability to show my emotions and since starting T im very non emotional, even when I want to be emotional lol. Sometimes it's kind of expected to cry and ->-bleeped-<- (like when my dog died) and i just cant. But I think you're right Marvel there will always be social tension between men and women no matter what we do. There is no one way to make a woman happy, cuz as soon as you do there will be something else to do. I love my girl and can't wait to make her my wife, even tho she drives me crazy and doesn't always get me. But she's been my rock for 8 years, so if she wants to call me an ->-bleeped-<-, so be it, doesn't hurt my feeling lol. I've told her if she's not happy i won't stop her from leaving but she said she's invested too much time in training me lol and for some reason she loves me so we'll take it day by day.

To no small degree your nOObs at playing a game that most of the guys around you have been learning to play since first grade.  Girls never give more attention then they are receiving, you can bet on that, so if you want their attention, you have to work to get it.  And to the degree that all the guys around you are playing it (even when they don't mean it), and you're standing back from the crowd just sort of watching - yeah, it's creepy.

Hahahahah oh no. If I ever become single again I am ffff to the ucked.

Quote from: tekla on March 16, 2011, 01:22:16 AM
And to the degree that all the guys around you are playing it (even when they don't mean it), and you're standing back from the crowd just sort of watching - yeah, it's creepy.

Wait, I thought it was the attention that was coming across as creepy, not the lack there of.  That's it, I give up and am going to bed.

I've honestly never found it easy to listen to women bitch. There's just too many double-standards so many women perpetuate that I end up being bitter towards the whole lot of them in general, no doubt influenced by my trans-ness and hating the body I'm in.

I've never been able to relate or even barely get along with most women, to be honest.

Hahah nooo kidding. :| it's the mind games again.

When you pay attention to them they're like "ohhh you're soo funny let's get togetherrrr" but then they just run to their friends and go "eeeww he's such a creep omg why does he like me??"

^Exactly, man. That's why I've always gotten along with guys better, if a guy doesn't like you it's going to be pretty apparent pretty fast. With most girls, you've got no ->-bleeped-<-ing clue WHATS going through their minds, so it leaves me constantly paranoid...
..Ah hell, I'm just paranoid in general, so that kind of invalidates my commentary on the subject lol.