So last week I told my friend I was trans, and I was really glad too. She was supportive and she told me I could count on her no matter what, and that I should go ahead with transition if I really wanted it.
But when we met again today she started off by telling me how it was a bad idea that I began transition because I'd just be ruining my body and I'd never be really a man. That I should just stick to dressing male and "be a lesbian". It was kind of insulting, and I told her it was and she just said it was for my own good because no one would ever accept me if I transitioned, that my family would reject me and that I'd never have someone love me. And then she completely changed the subject and acted like we'd never had that talk in the first place.

A lot of the things she said, losing my family, being alone all my life, it's all things I'm afraid of, that have kept me from going forward for years, but listening to her say all that is kind of like a slap in the face. I just feel like absolute crap right now

Sorry about the rant, I just needed to vent for a bit... I hope it's alright.

You rant away. That girl is a ass.

Losing your family. Happens, but to those of us that it has, we've survived.

Being alone in life. Believe me, everyone has that fear.

It's your life. You live as you see fit. Or, you could allow others to live your life for you. But frankly, that's just voluntary slavery.

It sounds more to me like she's afraid of losing you as a friend, and is just 'projecting' her fears. You could always point her over here to see lots of examples of people who are happier, and still very connected with their friends and family . You're not responsible for her security, but if she's your friend it's worth working this out with her - so long as she's willing to take responsibility for her own fears.

yoxi makes a really good point. Kinda wish it had occured to me really.

thanks for your responses
When I am less pissed off at her I will probably link her here and some other places... really I am just angry she can be so self-centered, and tell me I'M wrong about transitioning and she knows what's best for me. And even calling me a lesbian when just last week she was so set on using male pronouns when referring to me.

I was so stoked about having someone I could trust but I know I lost that for sure.

As far as I'm concerned, a FTM can never be a real woman, so why pretend to be, when it feels so wrong? How about you ask her that.
She needs to realize she is asking you to disregard of who you really are.

It is very insulting indeed when people seem to assume you haven't quite thought things through. She could have asked you what your thoughts about risks like loosing family were... but she didn't even want to hear.

Thanks Wraith. I told her that today, and that I don't take it very well when she tells me I'll just be pretending to be a man, and she said I was an idiot for thinking like that. So I don't see this going anywhere... I don't have anyone else I feel comfortable telling so I'll just hope she doesn't out me for this.

Sad to hear it's turning out that way
Makes me really wonder what she was thinking at first when she was supportive. Did she think it was a game?
Would it help at all to give her a link to some informational site about being born with a male brain but female body?

I did give her several links but I don't think she bothered, her reply was near instantaneous. She was probably pissed I was disagreeing with her and just rushed to call me an idiot. But whatever, I was kind of expecting a negative reaction in the first place... I'mjust moving on really. Thank you

Sometimes moving on is the best thing you can do. Friends aren't like family. If you need to, you can drop them. Harsh, but you're two completely different people. You may have had some things in common, you may have seen eye to eye with each other, but you're going through something she's never experienced and she can no longer see eye-to-eye with you. Until she steps up and sees you for who you are, you need to stand strong and be there for yourself. Maybe her lack of understanding will give you time to reflect on your own life and help you figure things out.

This happened to me too. And I have to say ditching the bitch was a good choice. She still thinks I'm wrong, I'm making a mistake and probably laughs about it with one of my oldest childhood friends. I'm not letting that slow me down.

Don't listen to your friend. Don't let her words bring doubt. You WILL find other people who get you, and often where you least expect.

Some people just cannot accept. It's sad. But it happens. Unfortunately we just have to move on.

Sorry

Cindy

Ryan it sucks that your friends turned their backs on you.. and

Thanks for your support everyone