You are not alone Kitty... We are all with you... When you feel afraid, close your eyes a moment and visualize us there holding your hand with our arms around you

If someone is able to go and physically be there with Kitty... Please do so

My heart breaks for you.

I feel tears coming along as I type, because I can only imagine what you are going through.

Don't give up..... fight with all you have and you just might have a happy ending.

I am here... always if you need someone to talk to, or a virtual shoulder to lean on.

You are my sister, so few people know what we go through on a day to day basis.. but you do and for that I love you.

Don't hesitate to reach out, I promise I will always be around to help out anyway I can.

Nothing but the best.....

<hugs>

So sorry to hear this

Don't give up and try to stay positive, best medicine there is.

~Sara

Quote from: superkitty036 on March 21, 2011, 09:57:13 PM
Well, ive been thinking about it all day. And though because I am an impulsive person and almost got crazy. I didnt, and havent. I am feeling ok right now. You know, you guys make it real difficult to be careless and self destructive. I will go back to the hospital and listen to what they have to say.  ZThough i will tell you that i am soooooooooooo scared! I DONT THINK I HAVE EVER BEEN THIS SCARED IN MY Entire life. I wish more than anything i had someone that loved me to hold me and soothe me...... but i will get through this,,,,,,i hope

Dear Kitty,

We are here for you all the time, there are people on at all hours of the night and day. There is no reason to be alone my friend. Take care you can beat this go for it. With treatment you have a chance, without, it is unlikely to just disappear. It is very frightening I know, but give it a go.  Oncology staff are wonderful and know the horror you are going through.

All of my Love and Hugs

Cindy

I am so sorry to hear that kitty. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong.

Quote from: Virginia Marie on March 21, 2011, 10:38:44 PM
If someone is able to go and physically be there with Kitty... Please do so

if i were in LA, i'd totally be there.

so.... imagine me being there doing my lame attempt to make you laugh- i'ma  gay nerd; it's easy to laugh at me

and please laugh if you can. you can get better! just stay strong - your mind is SO powerful!

Kitty, I always have found your posts so much fun, and you are always full of life! Don't let that beautiful spark you have run out of it's fuel! Fight this girl! We are all here for you!
MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE

Girl sorry to hear about Tumor

be very possitive I  had my self deal with a very bad cancer and im ok and well now
so was my sister and nephew and  my mother with cancer a same time  but they are now recover too
my sister go brain tumor was remove then chimo and she had recover
the surgery and chimo is horrible but we pass that . try to be very possitive we are very strong
and we can hundle many batles so dont give up

all the best  God bless you

Wish I was there to give you a big hug too Kitty.  We all want to read more posts from you, so hang in there and take whatever help they can provide.  As Cindy said Oncology staff are vary caring people and will do all they can to help.

Lots of love and hugs, Sandra.

Jez, they arent pussy footing around with this. I will be admittted to the hospital tonight and they want to do a biopsy in the morning. im still scared, but,,,, well i just remembered that I am scheduled for my 16th hormone shot in the morning at 6:30am.....hhmmmm looks like the biopsy is going to  have to wait another day.....i REFUSE to miss that shot, cuz if i miss that appt, I have to wait one whole month. You know i have thoughgt about it and I will fight this tumor. tHOUGH MY INITIAL REACTION IS ONE OF COWARDICE, fear, and panic,,,, I have a LOT of heart, im a fighter and I do believe i can not lose, I really do. PLus im WAY WAY WAY too stubborn to give up or concede in any way. I really am. That said, i have wondered if the hormones created this issue. See what happens, is the brfain is completely developed shortly after birth, and its cells go into a sleep like state where the cells stop dividing. When the dividing process is started back up a tumor is born. The speed at which the cells divide, is......i dont remember the words he used to explain, but in my own words, the faster the cells divide the worser the tumor.............however, if they tell me that its tyhe hormones, i Wwill NOT, stop. NO WAY JOSE!!!i may change type and delivery, but there is NO way i am going to watch myself become a man again. I have decided, that if it is the hormones i will continue my HRT AND fight the tumor with everything i have.....and if i lose the tumor battle, then at least i die a woman...... I dont want that to happen, i dont, but if i do, then i can live with that.....wrong words, if i lose that battle then im ok with it. At least I can go with peace of mind.....not that im all that cuz i know im not and am not saying that my transition is successful, cuz its not.....but there are enough changes now that i feel good about it . KNow what i mean? Yeah, my boobs could be bigger, my waist smaller, my face not so manly but I choose to look at it like i have WAY bigger boobs nows than when i started, sexier more feminine shaped hippies (hips) and my face has changed shape,,,,all of this starting dinosaur old (36) I am more feminine than a lot of women so im cool you know!!!!!
OK. IM good now.....im still scared, but my head is up, shoulders back and i am defiant as heck in the face of a tumor...please, a tumor cant kill me,,, i have no one here in LA, parents are dead, single child i am. Still, watch and check this out....i will fight, and fight to win. It has been 18 hours since i sxmoked the last cigarette i will ever smoke....in terms of food, well cant worry about that till i get paid on the 30th, but i have always eaten healthy......still feal scared,,,,,what if i stand no chance? what if this is all in vain? ok ok, still very very very scared

We are here for you.
If you need someone to talk too send me or any number of your friends here a PM.
You can live through this and I am confidant of your tenacity.

hugz and luv,
Cynthia

Kitty. Missing one dose isn't going to make a lot of difference. But missing your hospital appointment could.

Do the sensible thing and go to the hospital.

Spacial
i will make a huge difference in my head. Im serious, its critical that I get that shot.

OK love, but remember to tell the hospital. Explain why. Suggest you do it now

Not taking an estrogen shot won't turn you back into a man I understand why you feel such fear but you need to goto that apointment you will die very quickly if you don't start treatment right away. The quicker you act the better your prognosis.

I'm so sorry your put in this situation. *offers hugs*

Kitty, I agree with Spacial.  Tell the hospital that you will be there after your shot.  Or see if they will give you one.  But the biopsy is more important than the shot.  If you will be out in a day, just postpone the shot for a day.

it doesnt work that way, if i miss that shdot I have to wait until next month. but it doesnt matter cuz I just talked to my dr and rescheduled the biopsy for thursday

Thursday sounds fine for the biopsy.  I really doubt one day one way or the other is going to make that much difference in the size of the tumor.

owwww kitty you've made me really sad, my very best wishes to you.

Good luck Kitty. You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. I can understand the sentiment that you would rather go out a woman than a man as I feel the same. Positive thoughts and I hope you keep us updated on your progress.