My cousin just had a baby, and I was actually invited when my mom told me me and my girlfriend were invited to the "meet the baby" event. I like kids, I absolutely love my cousin and the rest of my mom's side, so I was really looking forward to this...
Until my mom tells me earlier this afternoon that Ben can't come. Because it's an "all girl" thing. And I'm going.

So...it's not really a huge, huge deal because my mom knows I'm out, my cousin and my aunts know but still...I'm gonna be the ONLY DAMN GUY THERE.
I'm going to lose my mind.

And some of my extended family is going to be there, and they don't know (and probably won't anytime soon, not out of any nervousness but we're not close at all) so...I'm going to have to deal with my 'slave name', being called 'girl', all that BS that makes me incredibly pissy. My only hopes is that my aunt has her usual stock of wine so I can get something good out of it.
Baw.

I had the same problem, I wasn't out to my sister at the time, but she wanted me to come to an 'all female' baby shower. I rejected and thankfully she ended up canceling the whole thing. Anyways, good luck to you man! Hope it isn't so bad.

It shouldn't be too horrible, I'm usually pretty quiet as it is it's just...eugh.
Such a crappy situation, I'm just glad it's the first time this kind of situation's come up though.

Well if you are out to your mom can't you tell her that since your a guy you should not have to go? Since other guys in the family are not going you shouldn't eather.

They may "know", but it doesn't sound like they "get" it

Sounds like a good time to suddenly catch cold.

All kidding aside, I get irritated when trans folks are out to people who just don't get it. I think Wraith is right. If your family did get it, they wouldn't invite you to an all-girl affair.

Perhaps you should ask your cousin why this is being called an all-female event, since you're invited--and why she can't just open it up to everyone. I understand that baby showers are traditionally all-girl affairs, but I've heard of some that weren't. So why can't she make this an inclusive meet-the-baby event?

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit pissy at the moment.

I would either simply demand I'm not going for no reason.  or I'd do this:

Quote from: Mr.Rainey on March 27, 2011, 02:17:49 AM
Well if you are out to your mom can't you tell her that since your a guy you should not have to go? Since other guys in the family are not going you shouldn't eather.

Either identify as male and not go to an all female gathering or have an attack of diarrhoea. No one will want you around a baby with that.

I agree with other posters. You're a guy, and will be the only guy there at this "all girl" gathering, so you should opt not to go. Say something came up, get sick, just say you can't go because you're a guy.

I'm having a similar problem... kind of. My aunt's wedding is in May and I'm not out to my family yet, so they still perceive me as only female, and I'll have to go dress shopping if I don't come out. I don't think I could handle that but I also don't feel ready to come out yet. 

just say you aren't a girl, so you can't go. they can't force you, and if they tell you "but, you are a girl..." say that, "i don't bind my breasts and come out to you so i can be called that." sometimes you have to be rigid with this, and stand your ground, because if you don't. she'll probably just think she's "getting her daughter back."

Well, I ended up going. The initial reason my cousin invited me is because she specifically doesn't know. My other cousin and the aunts I told, I told not to tell anyone else (specifically my dad).

I'm going to go ahead and assume that's the main reason I got invited in the first place.
What's actually kind of funny is that my dad ended up sticking around, and my aunt's boyfriend "crashed the party" halfway through so I ended up sticking around him and my younger cousin. I had a sobby-emotional moment with my aunt though, while I was leaving she hugged me and told me "I'm glad you told me, I'm glad you came in spite of it." I cried like a five year old but it was just nice to have that actual, real-life confirmation.
I'm just gonna have to get the balls to tell everyone, close or not, so I can actually logically decline next time this happens. That, and one of my hugest fears is running across a family member out somewhere and having them scream out my legal name (as they tend to do).

Huge kudos to telling them. And for being accepted.
I was worried at the beginning of the thread how you were going to fair, but I'm glad it turned out alright.

Nah, my mom's side is great actually. I'm not worried about telling any of them tbh, I just don't talk to so many of them except once or twice a year I haven't gotten around to it/haven't really felt like I need to.

hah I ended up at a thing like that for a friend a few years ago before I was out to anyone. 

It ended up being me and my lesbian companions sitting at this little tykes plastic table being awkward while all the straight women were all over the place being enthusiastic.

mad awkward.

I hope it is better for you.  Though it doesn't particularly sound like it will be.

Yo N.Chaos,

You did what most loving men would do.

You accepted that female territory is sometimes (always) too weird for guys to follow. But guys being guys just put up with it. Which allows all the females to roll their eyes and say, Guys just don't get it.

And there is totally nothing wrong. odd or unmasculine with guys loving babies, particularly their own, their family members or any. 
If you look at history guys have putting their lives, their emotions and their ambitions on hold to defend children and women. It's a guy thing I'm told.

Sorry if that sounds sexist. It is. There is a difference between how men and women think. As we know.

Cindy

Sounds like it turned out okay after all. But I don't envy your needing to come out to all of those people. Maybe if you change your name legally and train everyone to use it before you come out to them, you can avoid those potentially embarrassing confrontations on the street.

Lol Arch, that's one way to do it. I'm probably just going to tell my aunts to tell everyone else when I'm ready, and leave it at that. I literally see these people at Christmas, and if someone unexpectedly comes to visit (which is once, maybe twice a year, if that). So it's definitely not a pressing matter to me. The people that I see constantly and needed verification from, I've got it, so I'm more than happy with that.

Cindy, it's all good, it's not sexist because it's a fact (At least IMO).