Hiya Aylx,
It's quite a journey, this finding out who and what we are
It sounds like you have been doing a bit of thinking about this for a while. When it comes to who you are, there are no commandments from on high. Nobody can tell you that you must be this or that you cannot be this or that (or this AND that). All we have is what we feel inside.
Some feel they are male, some female, some both and some neither. Others just go with the flow and act however they feel at the time, whatever that is.
Quote from: Alyx on March 27, 2011, 05:57:40 PM
I feel, in my heart of hearts, that I am definitely genderqueer, but there are times when I think I am trans, too. My question is this: can you be both at once? How do you come to terms with feeling like you are both genders at times, neither at others? If you want to "pass" as an effeminate male, but you don't mind if people read you as a butch female, what does that mean? Is the answer to my gender identity really about genitals or is it something more?
So, the short answer to can you be both is "of course".
How do you come to terms with how others perceive you? Well, that's a little tougher, but to me it all stems from accepting yourself as you are. If you are happy with how you perceive your gender, then it really doesn't matter what other people think. (It can hurt quite a bit sometimes, tho)
What does it mean if you want to pass as a male but don't mind being read as a female? It means you are awesome! (I'm so jealous). It sounds like you are looking quite a bit like who you are...someone who lives outside the gender binary.
As far as your gender identity and your genitals...the only thing they have in common are they both start with "gen". Sadly, most of us are raised as if they have to match and this often causes a lot of pain and frustration.
The point is, nobody displays traits associated with only one gender...we all are a mixture. The fact that some people believe themselves to be boys or girls is great. But, sadly, they are the ones who are missing out on the glorious freedom of casting off the shackles of gender restrictions, bursting through the roles and expectations that have held us all captive for too long, and knowing the true peace of being yourself.
(Now, if you'll just make a little donation Reverend Laurry's ministry as the plate is passed around...sheesh)