I've recently moved and I'm wondering how to introduce myself to people.  Do I use my male name or female name?  Or go with some gender neutral name?  I'm pre-everything and it looks like it's going to be a loooong time before I can get on T, as there's just not any resources where I live and I'm having a terrible time finding a therapist covered by my insurance who understands gender issues at all (I've had some really ignorant stuff said to me by some of them).  So I feel kind of stupid using a male name when I don't pass very well (especially once I speak).  And a friend of mine told me to definitely not use a male name, because we live in a very close-minded area and she was afraid for my safety.  But the thought of using my (very) female name just makes me cringe.

There's no gender-neutral nickname for my female name but I've been using a gender-neutral name online that I picked out and am using it to introduce myself with to new people in real life, but I feel like I'm lying when I tell people that's my name.  And I don't want to explain to them how it's not really my name, and have to come up with some story about why I'm using it instead of the name I was born with.  And I definitely don't want to tell them I'm trans.  I guess I could just say it's a nickname if the issue comes up.  So now I've got people who know me by my female name (from my past who I haven't come out to), my male name (who I'm out to), and my gender-neutral name (new people who I'm not out to).  Thankfully, my social circles don't cross much.  And I have considered still using the gender-neutral name even after I transition.  But I like having a name that's definitely male too.  Ugh, confusion.

Hmmmmmm  Seems to me you have been here for a while, jmaxley.  That being said, I think you know the TOS and how to be have.

So  all you get is welcome.

What does this behaving thing mean? 

I guess my post was kind of confusing.  I have that gift.  Mainly I've just been confused about what name to give people I meet in person.

How do you wish to be know.  A name can carry a reputation.  We know you be you ID here.  If we were to meet in person I would call you by how I know you.

If you don't mind me asking, what male name do you prefer?  I know that in my case people who read me as female don't seem bothered when I introduce myself as Lee.  A lot of names seem to have a bit of gender wiggle room where people will think "that's an odd name for a girl/boy" and not really give it more thought. 

The male name I had picked out was Ethan.  At the time, I wanted something that was definitely male. 

I want people to see me as a dude, but even with a male name, until I can get on hormones, most people just aren't going to.  Even the people I'm out to hardly ever use male pronouns; some refuse outright (those of course probably won't see me as a guy even with the hormones).

Hi Ethan

Welcome to the forum dude.
When some people don't see you as a male, that's their problem, for us you are a man.
It's not your fault being born in a body that don't suit you.
But inside you're a man right? So, here you will be a man.

hugs
Annette

I'm confused.  Why is everyone telling him welcome to the forum when he has over 850 posts?

Cuz we confused.    my fault.  I misread his OP.  And that set the tone.

  Janet's been working too hard in the introductions section.  We appreciate it though!

Maybe some of the people there aren't that close minded. You would be surprised. Just talk to people and if you think they would be okay with it then tell them.

Hey Ethan,

You got a good opportunity to not have to drag that female name around everywhere.

When I was in HS, my family moved. I started using my initials, which got shortened into a nickname. My family never took to it. They continued to use the girl name while everybody at the new school called me the nickname (which was awesome). This is how it has been for the last 30 years. Whenever you have a chance to claim some more freedom for yourself, take it.
Now I have a male legal name, family still calling me the girl name, and some friends still calling me the nickname. As it turns out, the nickname goes with the male name, too. That has turned out to be a good thing.

Ethan's a great name - do you pronounce it with a short or a long E? I've heard it both ways...

I go by Brent in class. I've gotten a few "she's" but mostly people see me as male. I don't think its too masculine. One transwoman I met said she met a girl with that name too. I just like it. I'm hesitant to introduce myself as Brent for now though.

Hi Ethan,

I'm glad you asked this so you can get a new perspective on names. You've chosen a great name and I'm certain that even in a conservative city people would think nothing strange about it.
I just hope you can live up to the name!
Thinking about ethan allen and the green mountain boys!

And lee, these days I actually know more women named lee than men! It's something how names can change genders even more readily than a fish ;-)