It's not much different from my usual life since I'm most of the time referred to as a guy. I used to have a lot of problems because of my looks & weight, from both angles. People would be hostile with me in public because either they perceived me as a bull dyke or because they thought I was just a fat young boy who would be an easy target to physically attack. But that went away in recent years, like beyond the age of 27. I've said that it's the pain & agony of my life that finally shows in the dark circles around my eyes, since I've finally began to look older and pass for an adult.

So my boyfriend went back home in hopes of getting a job there since it's pretty elitist in regards to socioeconomic class here, and I got my taxes back today so I went out for one last good meal before I deprive myself of everything good in yet another effort to lose weight.

So I sat there in the restaurant feeling pretty awkward and wondering if my mannerisms are guy-like enough. I've never really thought about it before. Also, I shaved my head last night, shorter than normal. #1 all over. So in thinking about my mannerisms, I don't think they're either manly or feminine, they're just socially awkward as always. I tried to observe guys sitting at the bar to make note of their mannerisms & posture without it being noticeable that I was looking. The waiter was a guy and perceived me as a guy and I could really tell that he was talking to me like a guy. I ordered a huge meal with the intention of taking half of it home, and ended up only having a few bites before feeling full and asking for a take out box. And he joked with me and said he'd have been impressed if I had put all that away. And for once, I didn't have that awkward moment where I'm asked to show ID because of the female name on my debit card. He took the card as payment and didn't question me or say or do anything to make me feel awkward like it usually happens in situations where you have to hand your card to someone else rather than swipe it yourself. And it felt good to just be another guy.

Nice man, must be a good feeling. I'm similar - If I'm sitting in the Metro I kinda have to think 'am I being manly enough, or is this how girls sit?' You'll probably start getting more and more of these moments... the confidence boost I'm sure you got will help!

<<last good meal before I deprive myself of everything good>>

I should think it would make losing weight harder than it has to be if one has that feeling.

You aren't "depriving," you're "helping" yourself.  The "good" stuff should be the veggies and stuff you crave which will give you a more healthful diet.

Think of it as a lifestyle change, for YOU, by YOU...not a deprivation sentence.

You'll feel so much better once you get rolling! Good luck!

I  never did the 'one last good meal' before my diet. I thought about it but I figured it's just more to work off. It's a good thing to want to lose weight, but with the motivation to be healthy as well, makes it a lot easier. I went raw vegan personally, which for me gave me all too many reasons not to stick with it. I think the best thing to do so you don't feel like your missing anything is to start off with only foods that are incredibly healthy. You lose some weight in the first week and suddenly you have lots of motivation to keep going. I know it all can seem like such a drag, I crave so many things all the time and it doesn't help that I have a massive appetite thanks to T, but after just a month I've dropped all the weight I gained since being on T. I find as long as you do something for a month, even if it means the way you eat, it becomes a habit.

Anyways, good luck with everything.

Well, Congrats and good luck first off. That kind of comfort is rare, but when it comes it's one of the greatest things in the world.
As for weight loss, I don't know what your usual eating habits are like but I've realized time and time again I can NOT be one of those "screw everything, I'm dieting" people. I hate 95% of vegetables, don't have the money to buy my own groceries and cook entirely too well for my own good. (If you don't cook than this is pretty much pointless) What I've been doing though is trying to slowly introduce better stuff into our usual food, though ("Our" being myself, my girlfriend and my best friend) mainly through this wonderful thing called a fooooood processsoooorrr.
I love that thing. I used to have to practically mash up onions and then fry the hell out of them to even stomach them, since I've been processing them though I just boil them a little bit in with everything else and I'm more than happy to eat em. My girlfriend's even finally turned me onto mashed potatoes, which is a huge deal for me (I'm weird, I HATE potatoes unless they're fries usually).
Sorry for the food rant, that was...pretty pointless in retrospect.
I'm still postin' it though.

I'm the opposite, as in, I can't cook worth a crap. I come from a non-cooking family and was raised on fast food because my parents never felt like cooking. My family also has the belief that kids are stupid & helpless and so I was never allowed to fix my own food either. So food was always given to me, in the bag or box that it came from. This gave me a taste for restaurant food since I can't make anything tasty at home. I don't mind veggies and I love fruit, so eating the basics is simple enough for me. There's just the matter of making it taste good. Because if it's not really good, then it's like a chore and you feel deprived. I do have a massive appetite to begin with though. I've always had a man's appetite. I crave meat more than anything and when I'm hungry, I feel like I could close down a steak house because I'd eat their whole supply of meat. So far, I'm so-so on the pepper & hot pepper flakes as seasoning for meats, which I cook on my George Foreman grill. It's alright enough to feel like a real meal.

Just thought I'd mention to anyone dieting, when you cook your food, your actually cutting the protein in half. Also things like mashed potatoes are very high in calories and have almost no nutritional value. I think if you're going to put something in your body, it might as well add to your daily nutritional needs rather than just take up calories. I think the best thing to do is to replace at least one meal a day with something 'raw'. Like a salad, fruits, or whatever. It makes things easy for people who don't like to cook, but there are ways of making it taste really good. Like personally I can find eating an apple every day a bit repetitive so I'll change up what I eat my apple with, or add some fresh squeezed lemon on it, or use a bit of cinnamon, whatever. You can get creative with the healthiest of foods and keep it healthy. I also find if you make your food look like something you'd be served at a 5 star restaurant, you'll psychologically find it tastes better. I'll set out really nice dishes for the most unappetizing meals and fix them up so they look very attractive I literally find it tastes better. Such as for me, peeling an orange and just eating it, it doesn't taste as good as when I take the time to peel it, set it out on a dish, add some other little fruits to make it look more better, I make my food look like art, or too pretty to eat.

Also potatoes are a nightshade, so to anyone who gets stomach problems (or chronic pain) it's best not to consume them. This includes tomatoes, paprika, peppers (not black pepper, things like bell peppers), and eggplant.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts for those dieting. To me this is a very important subject because as we all should know, T effects our cholesterol levels and our hearts! My diet is a diet that can reverse heart disease, and I've also been told by doctors my heart is literally in perfect condition. I have very low cholesterol, unfortunately not enough of the good cholesterol since I don't exercise much, do to back pain. Also for anyone who didn't know, you should really cut down on eggs/dairy when you go on T. It's advised by knowledgeable physicians because again of cholesterol and what not.

Not to worry there, I think eggs are disgusting! 

However.... I looooooove potatoes & sweet potatoes! Mmmmm! So not fair that they cause pain! Well, I'm not eating any lately though. If it doesn't fit in the grill, I can't be bothered. lol

But I am turning things around and eating more veggies. Real veggies. I'm particularly loving mushrooms now, which as far as I have seen online, are good for you. I'm also munching carrots & celery. So I'm quickly getting used to replacing all the junk food with vegetables.

So I pretty much just eat pasta and nightshades.


It makes since that eating raw foods would be better for you. I did have a salad yesterday, but it had a bunch of tomatoes, peppers, mozzarella, egg, and even potato chips in it(out of croutons).

Actually sweet potatoes/yams are not nightshades. I plan to try parsnips as a replacement, but I hate to try new things.

That's awesome about the eating vegetables, I wish I could do it. I don't know what it is about most veggies but they all make me gag. I remember I ordered a salad once at a restaurant and my friend who I was with couldn't stop laughing because of the faces I was making while attempting to eat it.

That sounds like the most unhealthy salad ever. 

I've never been too thrilled with most veggies either. But grilling them is a whole new world. They're actually really good. I've loaded up on veggies again today, along with normal sized portions of meat. And the veggies are surprisingly filling, so I don't feel like I need a 72 oz steak for every meal. 

See, there ya go! I'm so glad to hear this.

We knew you could do it! Keep up the good work. After you get a taste for healthy stuff, you'll start to wonder what was ever so appealing about junk food!