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Doubleminded ?

Started by Del, April 01, 2011, 05:41:15 AM

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Del

I was just wondering about something.
Do you ever have your thoughts go back and forth about if changing sexes is a mistake?
I ain't asking to ridicule or say you folks are wrong.
I just know that there are certain things people think, say and do that they go back and forth in their mind about.
Hope this question doesn't appear offensive.
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rejennyrated

There are some that do have regrets, some that do change back. Such occurrences are thankfully relatively rare as far as I know, and one can only feel sympathy for the individuals affected.

However as a personal thing I have now lived the last nearly 30 years as a female, 26 of them postop. I also lived partially as female for about 15 of the first 25 years of my life and I can honestly say that I have never had any such doubts.

I think one reason for this is that, unlike some, I made no effort to change my lifestyle and behaviour other than altering my physical body. Thus I did not seek to become some stereotypical "little woman" but merely a physically female version of the person I already was. Thus I gained the peace of mind I sought, but without sacrificing much that I had from my previous lifestyle.

I hope that helps to shed some light on at least one possible approach and answer.

And no the question is in no way offensive - the only time it would become offensive is if someone then tried to use the fact that some people do have regrets as a basis for arguing that because some had clearly made a mistake then others like me, who plainly did not, should be prevented from following their own life path. We all have to take responsibility for our own decisions on this.

Finally, because I know you come from a profoundly spiritual background, let me say that if there is a last judgement I will stand before my maker with head held high and I will thank him for the wonderful life adventure that he gave me in this. I am sure that, whatever others may think, he will not condemn me for doing something which has enriched my life. Does God make mistakes? No. But to some of us he grants the rare privilege of finding our own place on the gender spectrum. :)
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Randi

Jenny -  :eusa_clap:  very nicely put into words.

Randi
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Del

Thank you for the input. I do greatly appreciate it.
I imagine that some would use a person changing back to say all shouldn't change to begin with. That's the same train of thought that took away our right to not wear seat belts. Just because one is afraid to die in a car accident doesn't mean their feelings and fears should be forced upon all. Some of us look forward to the hereafter. It's our hope of something better to come while in a world we don't fit into.
Not suicidal however. Been accused of that. Just patiently awaiting something better according to my beliefs.
I hope all works out for you all.
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Padma

I like to think that transitioning one's gender is not so readily equatable to driving without a seatbelt :).

What comes to mind (and this isn't meant to be a perfect analogy, it's poetry, just try it on for size!) is that gender transition is more like a second marriage. Just because some people's second marriage is no better than their first (and is what George Bernard Shaw called "a triumph of hope over experience" :-\) is no reason to say it's never right to marry someone new.

For most people, once they know themselves better, they are happier with the right person, second time around. It's the same with transition, somehow - except in this case the right person is our other self, and the first marriage/gender has just been a "marriage of convenience", just to get us out of our parents' house in one piece... ;)

I don't mind if this sounds like crap to you, it's just something that popped into my head reading what you'd written.
Womandrogyneâ„¢
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Del

It doesn't sound like crap. I can see where you are coming from with it.
Actually I worry about my posts appearing in the wrong light.
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Padma

's okay, I knew you weren't actually comparing transition to dangerous driving, I just have a very associative mind ;D.
Womandrogyneâ„¢
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Del

Thank you.
That's cool. Better than taking life too seriously.
By the way, I was going to leave after 15 posts since I am a straight guy but I have found more acceptance here than in most churches I have visited. (and gotten thrown out of)
Plus, I am a househusband after being disabled. While trying to find a site for househusbands all I seemed to find were filthy ones or those where they see househusbands as being lazy, effeminate, perverted or disgusting.
I guess being seen that way is nothing new for some here too.
No offense. Just saw a similarity I guess.
Maybe Susan should add a "Straight Disgusting Househusband" section.
Once again. Thank you.
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annette

Hi Del

you wrote: I was just wondering about something.
Do you ever have your thoughts go back and forth about if changing sexes is a mistake?


I can give a short  answer.....no

For the last 30 years I'm living as a woman, before that I didn't have an identity.
That's the whole point, what are you, I couldn't live and fit into the man's world and biologically I was not a woman.
Very confusing and I'm gratefull that with the hrt and srs I was receiving a life.

And....it's a good thing to stay, why should you leave? There are more straight guy's in here and they are more than welcome.
For me it's important to read questions and comments from different corners also from straight guy's.

hug
annette
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