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my sister thinks she's "losing me"

Started by Jeh, April 02, 2011, 04:38:33 PM

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Jeh

My little sister, who's away teaching in the United Arab Emirates, sent me a facebook message after I sent her one informing her I was starting T. She's known for a while that I was planning on doing it. She started off telling me that she was so proud of the things I've done and that she's looked up to me ever since we were little kids and that I'm her fantastic, beautiful, talented sister. She then said that she was sad and confused because I was transitioning and that she had hoped I would change my mind, and that she felt like she was losing me. She then told me that God wanted me to stay the way I am now, the way he created me. She then filled the rest of the message up with about 10 Bible and religious quotations.

  :'(

I don't know how to answer.

And what if this is really how the rest of my family feels, they just aren't saying it? What if once the changes start happening, they get upset because they're "losing me"?

I understand that the feeling of losing me is a reaction that might happen. My dad just keeps saying that it's my life and I'm the one who has to live it. My mom hasn't said much about it. My other little sister might have a similar reaction to my first sister, I don't know. My brother is awesome and I think he'll be ok.

How do you handle it when a family member gets upset because they're "losing you"? Especially, how do you answer when someone pulls the religion card on you?
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Devlyn

<Big hug> I'm afraid your sister may be right about losing you, and I say this because of the posts in the "significant others" section. You might want to read some of them. As for the Bible part, good luck, religion and superstition are the two most dangerous things in the world. Hugs, Tracey
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xAndrewx

My mom also said she was loosing me and in some sense she did. She lost the insecure person who didn't want to laugh, always wanted to cry, and was uncomfortable. Did you do "female" things that you will no longer do with her? If that is the case then try to be understanding if shes upset she can't do those things. I think some family tend to expect this HUGE drastic change so maybe over time she will realize you don't change much other than the confidence and some physical stuff. My mom now helps me do my shots, calls me her son, and tries hard to support me because she sees it was for the better but that did take time.

As for the rest I wish I could help. For me there was no other option in my mind than transition so I hoped for the best. If your family does that then talk to them. Explain it to them, that's all you can do man.

Make_It_Good

I must disagree about Religion being one of the "most dangerous things in the world". I think in terms of this, it is how people take things that is the problem.

I am sorry Jeh to hear about what your sister said.
I did have a similar situation years ago. I have a twin sister, we have always been so close, as she is my best friend. My whole familly struggled with this,even having known for a long time.
Me and my siblings and Mum are all Christian, and they did view my transition from this point, even to the point where they worried about me and my faith (and I admit, transitioning does still effect me and my faith, making it shaky at times, but Ive just got to press on and try  not to be weak I guess :p)
My Mum said she felt she was losing my, and my twin did. They felt that this wasnt what God had made me for, I shouldnt change what He created.
  My twin went to uni (I took a gap year) and once she left, and I started T, she said she doesnt think she will ever be able to see me again with T effecting me etc.

That broke my heart.
But I still kept on, I felt I was losing my family, the only people I had at the time. But not transitioning was no option for me. I tried to keep them in my life and I can say, that hopefully my life can be viewed as a story with a positive outcome. Hope paid off.
Though at the beginning, my friends left me and I was made to move out and my Church didnt accept me, now, me and my family are very close again my sister and Mum have come round to it all, they accept me (and so has a new, better, less judgmental Church)
Though I know my family fully felt and meant what they said at the time, they just needed to see how much better I could and would do after beginning transition, and that you were NOT doing anything wrong. And most of all, that you are the same person, only happier, more productive and still able to be loved by them.

Easier said than done, but you need to stay strong, show them you can get through this. I think things would have been much better with their acceptance, but if you dont have your families, then, respect how they are feelign but do this for yourself and try to keep in contact with them, so they can be brought through it all along the way. The changes are less drastic that way.

I hope this has been of atleast some help.
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