Do you think we as transgendered are selfish? I know for myself that I would yes that at times I am, I tend to get carried away sometimes with all of the emotinal and physical changes that I forget it overwhelms my partner to the point where he says will you give it a rest.

Not any moreso than anyone else.

There are things about me I see as selffish but nothing about transition is. Most other people get there birth defects fix without being called selfish. ( my wife called me selfish for it) Being trans is irrelivant to me being selfish. I like very fast boats and they cost money. So there I admit it. I spent 1/3  of my income ( sometimes backwards of that)on fast boats for a wile.

Wierd how we can change.

It's hard not to be preoccupied in times of change. I suppose that someone's being selfish if they have a choice about how that makes them behave towards others, but don't choose to take the others into account - but sometimes in the moment, you don't have that choice (but sometimes we can fool ourselves that we don't, when we actually do).

I don't think you can describe any group of people as selfish, any more than you can describe a group of people as selfless - you have to take individuals on their own merit, and you have to know them well over time to be able to make an evaluation like that. And people can change .

I know my partner does a very good job of making me feel selfish. But I don't know what the real answer to that is. Is it selfish to try to be yourself? In a way yes, and in a way no. I think everyone needs to be a little selfish at times.

Quote from: Rachael on April 04, 2011, 03:55:11 AM
Do you think we as transgendered are selfish?

If you can still ask this question, you're being less selfish than many people in the world.

It's healthy to focus your energy on yourself when you are the one who needs the help. You can't help others if you don't have your head in the right place.

Transitioning requires a high degree of self-awareness in order to proceed at a healthy and comfortable pace. You're doing hard work to change your body and bring it in line with your self. Also, cisgender people your age have had that many years to experience all this stuff and find their emotional balance with it. You're getting the ages from 12 to 20 compressed down to a couple years and dumped on you at once. I don't think it's fair to expect you to take it all on the chin.

At its core the definition of selfish is to be concerned for ones own welfare which is not in itself a bad thing.  Only when it's taken to an extreme that it begins to takes on the negative connotations that are commonly associated with the word in modern usage.   

So I would say that everyone is to a degree not just "we as transgendered".  The key is to find that balance point where it does not control you or make those around you overly resentful. 

Agree or disagree as you will, but Ayn Rand did some interesting essays at one point on th virtues of selfishness. 

You're getting the ages from 12 to 20 compressed down to a couple years and dumped on you at once.

When I first read that, I didn't know whether to pee myself in fear or laughter . But now that I think about it, I didn't really get to do 12-20 the first time round (I was sort of in neutral/neuter for safety purposes), so getting the accelerated program is way better than not getting it at all.

In the end, I decided to pee myself with fear and laughter! At least when this "second adolescence" happens, I won't also be at school at the same time .

Spending a lifetime, totally forsaking your own sanity, pretending to be someone you are not, just so others are comfortable is the selfish part.  Selfish on the part of the one calling you selfish.

Being true to your self is not being selfish, unless someone loses what they think they desire.  They then are the true selfish one.

Quote from: yoxi on April 04, 2011, 09:34:23 AM
You're getting the ages from 12 to 20 compressed down to a couple years and dumped on you at once.

When I first read that, I didn't know whether to pee myself in fear or laughter . But now that I think about it, I didn't really get to do 12-20 the first time round (I was sort of in neutral/neuter for safety purposes), so getting the accelerated program is way better than not getting it at all.

In the end, I decided to pee myself with fear and laughter! At least when this "second adolescence" happens, I won't also be at school at the same time .

I hope you absolutely love it!

I get called selfish, I sometimes think I am, but it's a totally new feeling that everyone else gets to experience their entire lives. Why not me?

Quote from: Serra on April 04, 2011, 04:07:40 AM
Not any moreso than anyone else.

i second this. i can be selfish at times, but as a person, not as a trans-woman.