Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 11:47:55 AM
This is coming from a CIS male. I'd say it's definitely important for you transexuals to resemble the gender/sex that you want to be.

If you don't look the part, then you won't be as accepted by your CIS peers.

And sometimes when a CIS is open to dating a transexual that transexual must look the part. Not trying to be rude, but I will not date a MTF pre-op or post that doesn't look feminine enough.

I hate to break this to you but even as someone who does "pass" I don't give a flying <censored> what anyone thinks, and I certainly wouldn't date anyone arrogant and shallow enough to expect me to conform to their standards, who judged everything by appearance. Such a person would be frankly several major species beneath my contempt. (Probably better belonging somewhere in the species kingdom of fungi)

I am me - I did what I did 30 years ago for MY satisfaction, not theirs, and anyone who doesn't like me now can simply go hang!

Short answer no!

As it happens I pass perfectly as myself, and that's all I am interested in doing.

The only thing that is important to me is keeping people like that on the other side of the world from where I am.

Quote from: tekla on April 07, 2011, 02:24:23 PM
The only thing that is important to me is keeping people like that on the other side of the world from where I am.

Way to go Tekla

I know that I came off as mildly offensive in my post(that was an accident), but what I'm getting at is if you look more like the gender/sex that you wish to be you have a higher chance of being accepted by your peers, thereby being happier. I'm sorry that is a fact. My post wasn't targeted at anyone nor was I saying that of you don't look the part then you're a failure.

I said nothing like that. Since I've been on this site, I've seen some people that look the part, and some that don't. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.

And in terms of attraction if I date a transexual they need to look feminine enough for me to be attracted to them. Instead of being angry, I'd be happy that there are CIS's like me that even give transexuals the time of day.

I get the empression that you guys think that I. Judgemental, and that I'm the kind of person that will get violent if I find out later on that my GF is a T. This is not true. No I will not get violent, we may break up because she lied to me, but that's the worse that it would get.

For a group of people that doesn't want to be judged, you're certainly judging me alot.

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 02:28:21 PM
And in terms of attraction if I date a transexual they need to look feminine enough for me to be attracted to them. Instead of being angry, I'd be happy that there are CIS's like me that even give transexuals the time of day.

My point is that for the past 30 years I haven't identified as transsexual, because quite aside from the fact that I was actually technically intersex, I regard the successful completion of treatment of the condition as an end to it. I became a "post-corrected cis".

Furthermore I think you are VASTLY underestimating the general level of acceptance that now exists. Even back in the early 80's when I was newly postop I successfully dated both men and women who were quite happy, and even back then I always declared my history because for me it is a point of trust. If they failed my test and backed away then I didn't want them in my bed. Even back then NO ONE did, and things have gone on from there. Of course as I now have a partner that I have been with for 23 years its now pretty academic.

Ok I live in the UK where we are perhaps in general slightly more relaxed about this, but even so don't kid yourself that you are in any way unique...

that there are CIS's like me that even give transexuals the time of day.

I already own a watch.  Matter of fact, as Jenny can tell you, since I'm usually the stage manager, I really own the only watch that counts.

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 02:33:34 PM
For a group of people that doesn't want to be judged, you're certainly judging me alot.

Ever had the experience of walking into a bar and hearing it all go icily quiet?

Well this is perhaps one of those moments...

It's usually a good time to either do some rapid rethinking - or maybe to quietly find a different bar to frequent.

And for the record I am NOT saying you should leave. Merely that if you want to fit in with the crowd in this particular bar you will need a bit of a rethink on some attitudes.

Quote from: rejennyrated on April 07, 2011, 02:38:29 PM
My point is that for the past 30 years I haven't identified as transsexual, because quite aside from the fact that I was actually technically intersex, I regard the successful completion of treatment of the condition as an end to it. I became a "post-corrected cis".

Furthermore I think you are VASTLY underestimating the general level of acceptance that now exists. Even back in the early 80's when I was newly postop I successfully dated both men and women who were quite happy, and even back then I always declared my history because for me it is a point of trust. If they failed my test and backed away then I didn't want them in my bed. Even back then NO ONE did, and things have gone on from there. Of course as I now have a partner that I have been with for 23 years its now pretty academic.

Ok I live in the UK where we are perhaps in general slightly more relaxed about this, but even so don't kid yourself that you are in any way unique...

I live in the U.S, yes. The publics general acceptance level of T's is very low(due to their portrayal on TV). so we can't really talk to eachother about this.

Quote from: Valeriedances on April 07, 2011, 02:39:09 PM
I'm sorry Crash but your statements come across as superior and arrogant. In your opinion we, as in me (since I fall into the group you are referring to), should be happy that you give me the time of day.

Let's reverse that for a sec. How about changing that to you should be happy that I give you the time of day.

Why is one person more lucky than the other? How is that relating to each other? There is no relationship possible with that model. But, I'm sure you realize it, so I dont know why I'm bothering to post.

If I saw you at a club and heard you say what you said, you wouldnt get past hello.

I didn't mean it like that, but let's be honest here. T's are rare, so are the kinds of CIS's that would date T's. Aren't you happy when a CIS says that they're open to dating a T? This gives you more options in selecting mates. There's no need to take offense to it. You should be happy about it.

Yes we can be judgmental.  Because we have been look upon as freaks, perverts and other assorted non-conforming derogatory name.

We try to blended into your binary society.  You may not think some of us are as you say "that look the part", and I can tell you we are not trying to "look the part".  We are women, regardless of what you may think.  You need to find out more about people before you start throwing saying offensive terms.

Quote from: rejennyrated on April 07, 2011, 02:48:32 PM
Ever had the experience of walking into a bar and hearing it all go icily quiet?

Well this is perhaps one of those moments...

It's usually a good time to either do some rapid rethinking - or maybe to quietly find a different bar to frequent.

And for the record I am NOT saying you should leave. Merely that if you want to fit in with the crowd in this particular bar you will need a bit of a rethink on some attitudes.

Lol, I understand, what you're saying, though I'm constantly trying not to sound rude. Maybe it's just my delivery i guess.

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 02:54:38 PM
I didn't mean it like that, but let's be honest here. T's are rare, so are the kinds of CIS's that would date T's. Aren't you happy when a CIS says that they're open to dating a T? This gives you more options in selecting mates. There's no need to take offense to it. You should be happy about it.

Actually if you bothered to look it up.  Some studies say the MtFs are 1 in every 100, and the FtMs are 1 in every 200.  That is not rare.  That is a pure fact.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 07, 2011, 02:55:57 PM
Yes we can be judgmental.  Because we have been look upon as freaks, perverts and other assorted non-conforming derogatory name.

We try to blended into your binary society.  You may not think some of us are as you say "that look the part", and I can tell you we are not trying to "look the part".  We are women, regardless of what you may think.  You need to find out more about people before you start throwing saying offensive terms.

Let's be honest here. The whole reason that T's even exist is because there are people who feel as of they were born the wrong gender(this is understandable). So you guys put yourself through all of these medical operations/take horomones/etc, so that you'll one day look like the gender/sex that you feel like you are.

Your actions alone tell me that you do infact want to look the part.

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 02:54:38 PM
I didn't mean it like that, but let's be honest here. T's are rare, so are the kinds of CIS's that would date T's. Aren't you happy when a CIS says that they're open to dating a T? This gives you more options in selecting mates. There's no need to take offense to it. You should be happy about it.

You have a way with words Crash, even when your trying to explain yourself you come across as arrogant.  I'm sure that isn't your intent.

The issue isn't if we should be happy someone is willing to date us.  Your not doing us a favor by dating us.  If you want to date a transgendered individual, do so.  Don't brag about it.  Don't even think of them as transgendered, think of them as someone your interested in.

Transgendered/transexual/etc are just terms the medical industry has assigned to us.

We are Women or Men, nothing more, nothing less.

See you still don't get it, do you?  It isn't about looking the part for us, it is for people like you.  You have no idea what we got thru, and it isn't the hormones, surgeries, clothes or makeup.  It is the self loathing, the depression, the suicide attempts.  and All over that because of narrow minded people.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on April 07, 2011, 02:59:26 PM
Actually if you bothered to look it up.  Some studies say the MtFs are 1 in every 100, and the FtMs are 1 in every 200.  That is not rare.  That is a pure fact.

Umm that's pretty rare.... That's 1% for MTF's and .5% for FTM's

that's pretty rare. Rarer than homosexuality.

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 07, 2011, 03:04:51 PM
Let's be honest here. The whole reason that T's even exist is because there are people who feel as of they were born the wrong gender(this is understandable). So you guys put yourself through all of these medical operations/take horomones/etc, so that you'll one day look like the gender/sex that you feel like you are.

Your actions alone tell me that you do infact want to look the part.

For the record we are not all the same in respect of the treatment we need. I had just one corrective operation to a part of my body that only a sexual partner would see.

Some of us got to enjoy childhood spent at least partially in our "correct gender" too. I did.

I agree that it is nice to blend in, but it isn't by any means the primary objective. The primary objective is to be comfortable in one's own skin.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 07, 2011, 03:08:59 PM
You have a way with words Crash, even when your trying to explain yourself you come across as arrogant.  I'm sure that isn't your intent.

The issue isn't if we should be happy someone is willing to date us.  Your not doing us a favor by dating us.  If you want to date a transgendered individual, do so.  Don't brag about it.  Don't even think of them as transgendered, think of them as someone your interested in.

Transgendered/transexual/etc are just terms the medical industry has assigned to us.

We are Women or Men, nothing more, nothing less.

Any sane person would be happy that someone is willing to date them. I know
i'm happy when I ask a girl out, and she says yes. And I know that's she's happy that I asked her out.

Like if I asked a t girl out, and she said yes then I'd be happy that she said yes. There's nothing wrong with this.

It's about how we feel rather than looks. It isn't a beauty contest lol

I "pass" (such an ugly word denoting conceit) well enough that the men I date never guess about my past unless I tell them. I can walk through a crowd of teenage girls and never get a second look (some call that the ultimate "pass" test). That said, I never worry about passing anyway. Why? Because I'm a woman, therefore I "pass".