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-CRaSH's thread

Started by Sarah Louise, April 08, 2011, 04:14:34 PM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

-CRaSH-

Quote from: Serra on April 08, 2011, 06:26:51 PM
But if some random white person on the street called you the N word, how would you take it?  Not to put too fine a point on this, but you're not our friend.  We don't know you.  Could you be a friend some day?  Sure!  But right now you're a new person in a new place with unfamiliar rules, and frankly you don't appear to be making much of an effort to learn or follow those rules.  You're bulling around in a store full of fragile china and not really seeming to care much.  You may not be INTENDING to offend, but the fact of the matter is, you ARE.  If you want people to take you seriously and not get offending every time you touch your keyboard, start actually reading and processing what people are telling you.
That said she did overreact a bit.  But I understand why she did, and it's because of the above paragraph.
It seems like even if I try to be really nice, you guys just still can find some way to see what I said as negative, and get angry about it. I've actually recieved a hate PM from a user that I haven't even interacted with on this site. I've never been around such emotional people beofre(not saying that it's bad to be emotional).

And Concering the N word. Well... I wouldn't really be angry if some random person called me that.
Let's just say that when I fight. I'm very, very lethal. Therefore I rarely allow myself to get angry enough to want to fight someone, or as angry as any of you guys have been at me. I'm dangerous. I have so much control of m anger, that I can ... Uhhh... Look at me. I've already said too much.
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-CRaSH-

Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 07:24:15 PM
Hi Crash

Sorry that your having a bit of a rough time there... You have mentioned that you find T women intriguing and/or fascinating, but this is kinda new territory for you

I can understand you're desire to participate in various discussions... Participation is a large part of learning... But as some of the girls have mentioned, you have put your foot in your mouth a couple of times

Maybe it would be best to just chill a bit and observe for awhile and then try participating a bit more later on... If you see an angry bee above your head and then a couple more start buzzin' 'round is it wise to bat the beehive about?

Ladies... Give peace a chance... The guy did apologize for comments made that were deemed offensive
You know the funny thing is, the FtM don't have a problem with me at all. They may be envious, or hate me because I'm a CIS male(a couple of days ago I had saw a topic from a FtM saying that they're jealous, and hateful towards men... For obvious reasons. That's understandable).
Just seems like the MtF community are the ones that have a problem with me.
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-CRaSH-

Quote from: Tracey on April 08, 2011, 07:28:18 PM
Hi Crash, I didn't reply to your intro because you said you weren't staying, welcome to the site! Your own thread, nice! I hope you took the time to read the rules, I did, and truthfully someone owes you an apology, only Susan and her staff can ask someone to leave. Just remember, this is a support site, myself and many others come here for just that supportive atmosphere. Hugs, Tracey
Lol hey  ;D, I know that a few people owe me an apology, but its not a problem.
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V M

Quote from: -CRaSH- on April 08, 2011, 09:47:06 PM
You know the funny thing is, the FtM don't have a problem with me at all. They may be envious, or hate me because I'm a CIS male(a couple of days ago I had saw a topic from a FtM saying that they're jealous, and hateful towards men... For obvious reasons. That's understandable).
Just seems like the MtF community are the ones that have a problem with me.
I'm sorry you feel that way... I was actually trying to help
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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-CRaSH-

Quote from: Andrew Alexander on April 08, 2011, 08:48:30 PM
Welcome to the site Crash and Tracey pretty much said everything I would have. It sounds like you have said a few things thus far that could be taken offensively but having someone who is interested in learning is nice. So please don't take it offensively if some of us correct you, it's understandable to not know you said something offensive when trying to learn. It's like fouling someone on accident in the middle of a basketball game when you don't know the rules.

Good luck with your research, I hope you get the answers you are looking for. As I'm male I'm not much help with that research.
Well I did visit the FtM section of the forum, and I was going to stay there for a bit, but I kinda got side-tracked with everything that's been going on concerning me and the MtF users.
Though I'm not specifically studying one type of transexual over the other. I'm just observing you guys as a whole.
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 09:52:20 PM
I'm sorry you feel that way... I was actually trying to help
No, not you in particular, but the community as a whole.
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V M

It isn't particularly you

Some Many trans women are rather sensitive and many are quick to go on the defensive... Remember we are a group of people who have been dealt allot of persecution, discrimination and abuse

Being transgendered is somewhat the last frontier of human rights... We are seeking equality much like many others who have had to fight for equal rights
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: Virginia Marie on April 08, 2011, 11:14:20 PM
It isn't particularly you

Some Many trans women are rather sensitive and many are quick to go on the defensive... Remember we are a group of people who have been dealt allot of persecution, discrimination and abuse

Being transgendered is somewhat the last frontier of human rights... We are seeking equality much like many others who have had to fight for equal rights
The main reason that I think I've gotten so much negative stigma is because I'm a CIS male. CIS males(from my understanding at the moment) are the main group responsible for the violence towards T's. It is reasonable that some of you are afraid of me, hate me, want me gone ETC.

Often times when I'm yelled at on this site I didn't really do anything wrong, or they overreacted. But I can see why.
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Del

Crash,
I am a straight male. I came here to learn how to treat a co-worker that is transgender. In reading the various posts I have learned a few things that many straight people do not think about.

These people do not have the peace of mind that we have with a body that matches their thoughts. Some due to the economy may never have that peace of mind. They live a life of hell every day battling suicidal thoughts and feeling like outcasts while we go about our daily lives.

Because of this and the fact that they experience the same loving acceptance that the Negros did in Mississippi in the 60's it is very easy to offend them. I am sure that when you were in school you got a little angered in some history courses.

What I am trying to say is that just as the Negros can get a little hot about the "n" word and just as I can get a little hot when I see the word of God blasphemed these people can get a little hot when we word things wrong.

I hope you enjoy your stay here if you stay. But please just be considerate of these people as you would expect a white guy like me to be talking to you. If we want acceptance here I think the apostle Paul pretty much summed it up when he said, loosely paraphrased, to the Jew be a Jew, or attempt to think like those whom you interact with as not to offend them.

I hope that I worded this right.

Take care,
Del
  •  

tekla

Oh come on now, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Dana Lane

Quote from: tekla on April 09, 2011, 06:21:08 AM
Oh come on now, blasphemy is a victimless crime.

Damned good point you have there!  >:-)
============
Former TS Separatist who feels deep regret
http://www.transadvocate.com/category/dana-taylor
  •  

justmeinoz

I'm not offended. You are an American, you are allowed to be crass!  :laugh:
Seriously though, I have never heard of a domestic fatality between a cis-woman and a trans-woman, although there has been a bit of discussion on some local forums, and in magazines about abusive lesbian relationships.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
  •  

kate durcal

Is your avatar a picture of you? or is the signature picture you?
  •  

Sandy

Well, CRaSH, you've had a chance to make some points and I grudgingly admire your admire you efforts to discuss your issues in a way that tries at least to not to throw gas on a fire.

And to your question regarding cis-female violence against trans women has for the most part been answered, at least from the knowledgeable people here.

How about you do some more research?  If you have not already look through some of the lists here and try to understand the horrible things we have to go through.  And the joys. 

Look though the blogs.  Read about what some of us have been through.  Both in spiritual and material changes.  Do you realize the monetary expense that is involved in this?  The costs of our medications are astronomical, and the surgeries are usually paid out of our own pockets.  And if you throw in the loss that is incurred in divorce, it is usually debilitating for years if not the rest of our lives.  We are casually discriminated against and fired out of hand.  We are unemployed and underemployed because of who we are.  Does that ring a bell?

Immerse yourself in the larger LGBT world.  Check out some of these websites that talk about what being gay, lesbian or trans is all about.  No one is asking you to change (lordy no!  ;D) and you won't catch "teh gay" as some of our legislators think you might.  But I think you may have come here as a bit of a lark looking for some very light information.  Now I challenge you.  If you really want to know, look at what we have to live with every single day of our lives.  These websites are not pornographic, though some may have a bit of erotica on them, but you can just skip those.  I dare say you have never even thought to look.

Pam's House Blend.  Political activism at it's best:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do

The Bilerico Project.  Wide ranging reports of news, life and love:
http://www.bilerico.com/

Towleroad.  A site with homosexual tendencies:
http://www.towleroad.com/

My Husband Betty.  helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues:
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/

Andra James' TSRoadmap.  A place almost as good as Susan's for information about transsexuality  ;)
http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html

And Calperia Addam's site.  Calpernia's lover, Barry, was murdered in his barracks by his Army's team mates because he dated and fell in love with a transsexual.  Their story was told in the movie "Soldiers's Girl".
http://www.calpernia.com/

I throw the gauntlet down, -CRaSH-.  Learn about us.  REALLY learn.  This won't take more than a few hours of your time.  But really get to know what we are really like.  How we live and yearn to live.  And how we are treated.  To many, we are just ->-bleeped-<- on their shoes.

I don't claim to be an expert in black history.  But I lived though the sixties.  I experienced civil unrest first hand.  I watched the cities burn on almost an annual basis.  I watched the idea of civil rights become a cultural meme.  And I have read some books.  But I know that I will never know what you know.  Or what discrimination you have experienced.  But I learned, I have an idea.  Now I ask you to do the same.

I cannot become black, and you cannot become trans.  But together we could learn about each other.

-Sandy
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Following my bliss.
I am complete...
  •  

Devlyn

Bravo, Sandy, well said.
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: Del on April 09, 2011, 12:25:45 AM
Crash,
I am a straight male. I came here to learn how to treat a co-worker that is transgender. In reading the various posts I have learned a few things that many straight people do not think about.

These people do not have the peace of mind that we have with a body that matches their thoughts. Some due to the economy may never have that peace of mind. They live a life of hell every day battling suicidal thoughts and feeling like outcasts while we go about our daily lives.

Because of this and the fact that they experience the same loving acceptance that the Negros did in Mississippi in the 60's it is very easy to offend them. I am sure that when you were in school you got a little angered in some history courses.

What I am trying to say is that just as the Negros can get a little hot about the "n" word and just as I can get a little hot when I see the word of God blasphemed these people can get a little hot when we word things wrong.

I hope you enjoy your stay here if you stay. But please just be considerate of these people as you would expect a white guy like me to be talking to you. If we want acceptance here I think the apostle Paul pretty much summed it up when he said, loosely paraphrased, to the Jew be a Jew, or attempt to think like those whom you interact with as not to offend them.

I hope that I worded this right.

Take care,
Del
From what I've seen. The best way to treat a T-woman is to treat the like a woman.
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: justmeinoz on April 09, 2011, 07:33:10 AM
I'm not offended. You are an American, you are allowed to be crass!  :laugh:
Seriously though, I have never heard of a domestic fatality between a cis-woman and a trans-woman, although there has been a bit of discussion on some local forums, and in magazines about abusive lesbian relationships.
I'm not just focusing on MtF's being victims, I'm also concerned with the FtM victims. I've seen CIS women become violent with FTM, but I e never heard about them murdering them.
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: kate durcal on April 09, 2011, 10:40:21 AM
Is your avatar a picture of you? or is the signature picture you?
My avatar, and sig are pictures of the same person. It isn't me. But i do look like him a little bit.

Why do you ask?
  •  

-CRaSH-

Quote from: Sandy on April 09, 2011, 11:01:42 AM
Well, CRaSH, you've had a chance to make some points and I grudgingly admire your admire you efforts to discuss your issues in a way that tries at least to not to throw gas on a fire.

And to your question regarding cis-female violence against trans women has for the most part been answered, at least from the knowledgeable people here.

How about you do some more research?  If you have not already look through some of the lists here and try to understand the horrible things we have to go through.  And the joys. 

Look though the blogs.  Read about what some of us have been through.  Both in spiritual and material changes.  Do you realize the monetary expense that is involved in this?  The costs of our medications are astronomical, and the surgeries are usually paid out of our own pockets.  And if you throw in the loss that is incurred in divorce, it is usually debilitating for years if not the rest of our lives.  We are casually discriminated against and fired out of hand.  We are unemployed and underemployed because of who we are.  Does that ring a bell?

Immerse yourself in the larger LGBT world.  Check out some of these websites that talk about what being gay, lesbian or trans is all about.  No one is asking you to change (lordy no!  ;D) and you won't catch "teh gay" as some of our legislators think you might.  But I think you may have come here as a bit of a lark looking for some very light information.  Now I challenge you.  If you really want to know, look at what we have to live with every single day of our lives.  These websites are not pornographic, though some may have a bit of erotica on them, but you can just skip those.  I dare say you have never even thought to look.

Pam's House Blend.  Political activism at it's best:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do

The Bilerico Project.  Wide ranging reports of news, life and love:
http://www.bilerico.com/

Towleroad.  A site with homosexual tendencies:
http://www.towleroad.com/

My Husband Betty.  helen boyd's journal of gender & trans issues:
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/

Andra James' TSRoadmap.  A place almost as good as Susan's for information about transsexuality  ;)
http://www.tsroadmap.com/index.html

And Calperia Addam's site.  Calpernia's lover, Barry, was murdered in his barracks by his Army's team mates because he dated and fell in love with a transsexual.  Their story was told in the movie "Soldiers's Girl".
http://www.calpernia.com/

I throw the gauntlet down, -CRaSH-.  Learn about us.  REALLY learn.  This won't take more than a few hours of your time.  But really get to know what we are really like.  How we live and yearn to live.  And how we are treated.  To many, we are just ->-bleeped-<- on their shoes.

I don't claim to be an expert in black history.  But I lived though the sixties.  I experienced civil unrest first hand.  I watched the cities burn on almost an annual basis.  I watched the idea of civil rights become a cultural meme.  And I have read some books.  But I know that I will never know what you know.  Or what discrimination you have experienced.  But I learned, I have an idea.  Now I ask you to do the same.

I cannot become black, and you cannot become trans.  But together we could learn about each other.

-Sandy
I'll be sure to look through those websites, thanks. But in terms of personal discrimination, I've gone through none. I was born in 1991. I'm only 19.

And I actually could become trans if I wanted :p.

I just don't want to.
  •  

~RoadToTrista~

This makes me wonder if I could become black if I wanted to. Ooooo the possibilities..... :P
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