Dear All, have you ever heard of this? Everything I have ever read reports an increase in sex drive once on hormones. However, my FTM partner reports feeling dead sexually, and we hardly ever do it. He's just not interested; doesn't even masturbate. His levels have been checked and he is in the male range now for T. Despite this, no action on the nookie front. This is a major departure from our past sex life, which has always been very active. We hoped it would change once he started T, but it hasn't. Any insight? I'm getting desperate! thanks, Helios.

Could there be other things going on his life that might do this?

Is he on anti-depressives or some other medication? Those can completely kill off any and all sex drive.

What was it like before? I had no increase in 2 years. But I had always had a high libido. From your other post, it seems like your partner is worrying unnecessarily. Three months is a very short time to be on T. And since he has experienced expected changes for this time frame, doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with his dosage or response to it. Remember that everyone responds differently. Not every guy is going to experience the effects the same way.

Yes, I think he is depressed and anxious, and so this could be killing the sexual interest. However, he is not on anti-depression or anti-anxiety medication; paradoxically, I am--and my sex drive is higher! I agree with the comments that he is worrying unnecessarily etc; he doesn't seem to recognize or 'see' how much his body has changed. It never seems to be enough. I can't mention anything about how great he looks, because then he gets all self-conscious and feels 'under surveillance.' So it's basically a lose-lose scenario. Counseling does help, but he needs (we need) more help than that. I am trying to hang in there but all intimacy is too much for him, whether talking, including me in decisions that effect both of us, touching, cuddling, or sex. It's all off limits. Had hoped it would get better with T, but though things were looking better 3 weeks ago, they have been going downhill from there. And now his doctor wants new blood tests because he is worried about liver issues due to the T. He is already taking the max amount they prescribe. I don't know how to help him anymore, nor how to survive anymore in this relationship. But we have a son. I want to stick it out, but this is killing me. I've never had to withstand this sort of hurt for such a long period of time with so very little coming back. It's been about 8 months of this. Hope I am not oversharing. It's just so painful. My heart is breaking, and I love him so. But my love seems to mean nothing to him anymore. After 13 years together, I worry we're not going to make it. Helios.

My libido pretty much disappeared when I got on T and it had been quite substantial before that.
It takes me longer to get worked up and, well, I don't reach orgasm as easily as before even now and it's been well over a year.

I have not been to an endo for a followup check-up so I don't know if my levels are okay...
however..

in the last couple of months, I have been getting a little more libido, bit by bit...

Also, we tend not to see our own changes.
We look at ourselves every day and we just don't notice.
A recording of our voice and/or photos for comparison are things that make the change more visible as such.

Thanks for your comments everyone. My partner went to see the doctor yesterday and they are actively discussing both anxiety and depression as important factors in what's going on, so that's a good start. It is interesting to hear of Miniar's experience. best, H.