All,
  I had witnessed an incident the other day that is another nail in the coffin of being male.  I was at a Walmart the other day and was waiting in line for my purchase.  There was this oriental couple in front of me and the husband turned to look back and I saw a face that I have seen a quite a few times in my life.  It was an oriental version of the caucasian hard beaten man, like the type that you see in some of those Appalachian coal mines and similar hard occupations, a face of a certain type of hard beaten man.  A face that tells me that he is someone who could be civil with strangers but not with his family.
  Sure enough, as soon as the wife put her purchase on the counter, he inspected it.  He first lifted up the panties his wife selected high up so everybody watching could see it, inspected it closely, said something not too good sounding in Vietnamese. He then put it down to lift the price tag, lifted it up again and appeared to complain to her about the price.  He then repeated the same with another 2 pairs of panties, high up, inspect, complain, high up, inspect, complain.  All this time with a type of scowl I seen only on caucasian men.  The wife was both passive and embarassed and bowed slightly with every completion with every complaint.  He didn't make her take them back but paid for the purchase anyway. 
  I had a dad in my neighborhood of the family whose children played with my younger siblings.  His favorite word was "no".  He was hard with his family but civil with strangers and co-workers.  Corporal punishment was a daily occurance there with his large brood and sometimes his wife.  This was at a time that there was no such animal as child and wife abuse in law or rarely enforced.  He had that face.  Be he mellowed later and lost that face, I even worked with him at a shop awhile.  He was nice to me then.  But his childeren did not fare too well later in life.  There were drugs, early pregnancies with his daughters with no discernable father, police problems.   One of his sons was the first recipient of my states's "Three strikes your out" judgement and sent to prison for life with the largest "years" sentence in my states's history. 
  I saw in that man in the store through the looking glass darkly, at an image of my future turning into a hard beaten man, a real crankcase after being civil all of these years!  Of turning into someone I really feared as a kid and I was turning into.  This was a confirming incident that made me thinking that I was going into the right direction with this transistion and not turning into a bitter, complaining crankcase.  I just don't want to be a guy any more, I have had it!
  "Please Jesus, my redeemer, help me with the rest of my life here on Earth.  I want to someday enter Your Kingdom with my soul whole and restored.  In Your Name, Amen."
 
  How about your confirming incident?
  Joelene.

Hi Joelene

I know the type. You see and meet them each day. I try very hard to counter them. I try to be a bit of sunshine and speak and talk and help people I meet. I try to teach? people how to be human.
The first time you are in a supermarket/store whatever and an elderly or 'poor' person is in front of you and you just say to the cashier, can you put her bill onto mine please. For no reason. And they look at you and say why? And you reply, because it's Saturday. And move on. When you do a random act of kindness it stops that bad person arriving. It stops that bad person very quickly.  It can be as simple as buying a bunch of flowers for a few dollars and giving them to an neighbour. When they ask why you just say I thought you would like them, and walk away.

Keeping the evil Cindy under control has not always been easy, but feeding the nice Cindy has been delightfull.

Cindy

Cindy,
  If I would of done what you said, The man will be incensed and embarassed by that act of kindness because of his Vietnamese pride being broken.  They are from a different culture than the western European style versions we grew up with.  My neighborhood is mainly Mexican nationals, African-Americans, some whites and Vietnamese.  A lot of cultures, a lot of different styles of etiquette involved.  There has been some friction due to the misunderstandings of that here.  The best solution is to let the man vent. 
  I have a nice woman across the street who is a little older than me and have some limited mobility, but she still works and does her own shopping.  We do things nice to each other.  I give her some garden goodies, shovel the snow off of her driveway and walkway,  move her rubbish bin to the curb and back, replaced her water spigot at cost of parts, jump her battery, etc.  I also shovel the snow off of the adjacent properties when thay are vacant or the family is away on vacation, etc.  I never used money as an act of kindness, just deeds.  I get fed once in a while of the excellent soul food she prepares, she brings a plate full over with a whole pie at times.  She also took me to the hospital once when I was in extreme pain and thought it was intestinal blockage, but was a $1,600 case of gastritis (irritation of the stomach lining but not an ulcer), which would have been cured by a few cents worth of Pepto-Bismol!  That was caused by something I 'et!
  That man just reminded me of the bad experiences of my past, that I would not be a part of now or in the future.
  Joelene

I had quite a few confirming incidents through my early years, from a mixed-up puberty, to falling for a boy, my response the first time he kissed me, to easily passing for a girl but it was a "breaking incident" that brought everything to a head a few years too early (before SRS was available) and that was when I held my sister's newborn baby. The flood of emotions and feelings that hit me like a ton of bricks was totally maternal and I knew it. There was no more doubt after that moment.

By watching this man he told you everything, in his actions.I see these people everyday and i think it is on the rise.They get "being in control of your life" all ass-backwards.They think it means controlling everything,even his wife's panties.This is like serving a life sentence in prison,that is why they look so hard.They don't know any other way to live.I used to think being T was hard,but maby it saved me from this kind of life.I too have elderly neighbors and i love them and help them in anyway i can,and they help me.I believe this is the way it is suppose to be.As a result i feel free.I know i will be the elderly person next door someday and younger people might be living next to me.I do not want to grow old and hard.It is no way to live.