Last night the wife and I had the talk.  It was impromptu and unexpected, but I feel so much better for it.  Her reaction was that she still doesnt want to be with anyone else, and I feel the same.  She did a lot of crying, and I told her I understood if she just wanted to up and leave.  I told her she and my son would have all the support I could give them, to let her know that by bringing up the topic I was drastically changing our lives.  I know her parents won't accept me, I don't know if even mine will, be she says she wants to stay with me.  We are both optimistic, and love each other very much.  I love her even more now, because she didn't tell me to shut up, she didn't turn and run, and she wants me to be happy, even if it means changing her life to do so.  Thats the best I could have ever asked for from her :-)

Elena;

Wonderful-

Wonderful-

Wonderful, wonderful...

My hope for you is that your relationship with your spouse continues to be wonderful.  Many such relationships have, and I've seen several here where I live

wonderful--

Karen

Elena, that's so uplifting!  This is a very tough thing for a spouse to handle.  It seems you've done well in helping her with it.  I've always felt if others knew just how happy transitioning makes us feel the world would be 100% behind us.

It's going to be a difficult road ahead but it's something we must do.  I wish you all the best and hope things just get better.

Julie

Wonderful! That is great news. Things like this give me hope for the world that is slowly being sucked out of me. That just made my bad day a little better.

This is wonderful news, elena!  I hope your relationship continues forever.

That said, if I've learned anything from my spouse since this started is that I have to be patient, no matter how painful that patience may be, and slow down when she asks me to.  But I won't stop.

Keep talking and rush slowly!

hugs & smiles
helen

Congratulations Elena and my prayers for a continuous happy journey for you. I know your nervousness as I did the same as you. I did all the crying and my wife did all the talking, total opposite as I pictured it. I am so happy when I hear of others who are able to weather it and remain happy
                                                     Kim

As sort of a follow up, last night the wife and I shopped online for clothes for me to wear (she was the one who bought them for me).  I'm trying to go slowly , because I know so much change for her at once will make her feel lost.  She said she's okay with me getting the tracheal shave, so that's one step closer for me.  I'm also trying to find a local mental therapist that I can talk to so eventually I can make the decision to go to hormone replacement therapy.  You guys are so great for the support you give, and I just wanted to post my positive experiences up here to let you know that your advice is welcome and so very valuable!!! 

Quote from: elena on February 09, 2007, 06:14:20 PM
As sort of a follow up, last night the wife and I shopped online for clothes for me to wear (she was the one who bought them for me).   

May I make a suggestion?  Your wife is your soulmate, companion, and love.  She deserves so much more than the nomer "the wife".  Believe me, a change in that thought, will elevate your relationship.

Cindi

Quote from: elena on February 03, 2007, 09:39:25 AM
Last night the wife and I had the talk.  It was impromptu and unexpected, but I feel so much better for it.  Her reaction was that she still doesnt want to be with anyone else, and I feel the same.  She did a lot of crying, and I told her I understood if she just wanted to up and leave.  I told her she and my son would have all the support I could give them, to let her know that by bringing up the topic I was drastically changing our lives.  I know her parents won't accept me, I don't know if even mine will, be she says she wants to stay with me.  We are both optimistic, and love each other very much.  I love her even more now, because she didn't tell me to shut up, she didn't turn and run, and she wants me to be happy, even if it means changing her life to do so.  Thats the best I could have ever asked for from her :-)

as an SO of a TG I am proud of you for opening the lines of communication with your SO and so happy for the reaction you received.

Quote from: Cindi Jones on February 09, 2007, 06:28:06 PM

Quote from: elena on February 09, 2007, 06:14:20 PM
As sort of a follow up, last night the wife and I shopped online for clothes for me to wear (she was the one who bought them for me).   

May I make a suggestion?  Your wife is your soulmate, companion, and love.  She deserves so much more than the nomer "the wife".  Believe me, a change in that thought, will elevate your relationship.

Cindi

most excellent point Cindi

Quote from: HelenW on February 03, 2007, 11:36:10 AM

Keep talking and rush slowly!

really great advice

I couldn't stop thinking about this into the evening yesterday. I found myself happy for you but couldn't stop thinking about how much of a graceful graceful woman your wife is.

Wow you are a lucky person to have her!!!!!!!!



Sincerely,
Kristina

Congratulations on your courage and even more, for her courage. Once we transsexuals come to terms with who we are, often times, we can be very selfish -- wanting to get it all right as soon as possible. That means many times, we run over the feelings of those who love us and who we love. We're like emerging teenagers, self centered and wanting to make up for so many lost years. Because now we have to be the real "me".

Your wife obviously loves you and has demonstrated a willingness to listen and learn. Please go slow. Give her enough time to assimilate and understand. She has a million questions -- about your relationship as it will be going forward (and possibly as it was when she was unaware of the real you -- was it lies, was it disception, she may wonder?) about you -- the real you and about herself. Am I a lesbian, why didn't I see this, didn't know ... etc etc.

You are at a crucial moment and depending how patient and understanding of HER feelings you really are ... well, it may make a world of difference.

She truly is a special person. Good luck.

Quote from: elena on February 09, 2007, 06:14:20 PM
As sort of a follow up, last night the wife and I shopped online for clothes for me to wear (she was the one who bought them for me).  I'm trying to go slowly , because I know so much change for her at once will make her feel lost.  She said she's okay with me getting the tracheal shave, so that's one step closer for me.  I'm also trying to find a local mental therapist that I can talk to so eventually I can make the decision to go to hormone replacement therapy.  You guys are so great for the support you give, and I just wanted to post my positive experiences up here to let you know that your advice is welcome and so very valuable!!!

I realize this was 11 years ago... But I hope I have as much luck... Are you still together?

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