Background: I graduated from high school in 09. Went to community college for a year then stopped going so that I could work/transition. Now I consider myself "full time" (even though I still wear "male" clothes. I kinda like my androgynous style sometimes. Skinny jeans and graphic tees etc. But I pass 98% of the time) Well I figured after the summer I need to go back to school, only thing stopping me is seeing people from high school. Most likely I'll be outed, even if they don't mean to. Worst that could happen: word will get around and then the whole school will end up knowing and I'll end up getting verbally or physically hurt. I thought about online classes but I took one of those before and I always ended up slacking and I dropped the class. But I'm really scared and I don't know what to do. I wish I could go away to school where I don't know anyone, but that isn't an option for me. 🙁

Look I don't know if it is different in the states, but here in the UK if you present people with a complete package which looks right and makes sense, and moreover you come across as comfortable with yourself, mostly people will accept it at face value and/or just live and let live.

THE ONLY time when you get grief is if people sense that you are not comfortable with yourself or they think you are putting on some sort of false persona/act. Then they will give you a hard time in order to try and unmask "the real person".

So - make sure you are comfortable with yourself. Don't be too "in your face" about anything, be a nice person, and generally things will be ok. Oh and it helps if you can manage to ignore or laugh off any little comments that you get - because any bully looking for a victim will only pick you if they get the impression that you care or are isolated. Thus the best defense is to be amiable and easy going with a devil may care attitude.

As I say things may be different in the states - but over here, in my experience, a college or university environment is way way way the EASIEST one to deal with and if you cant hack it there then you will almost certainly also struggle in real life because in real life people are often far meaner than a bunch of students.

I think 90% of the fear of this is in your own imagination. I do hope that is of some help.

A community college in the US, particularly in Cali is NOT a college or university environment.  It's more like high school in some ways than high school was.  It's all the people who couldn't get into college or universities.

Yeah I usually have the "Hope for the best & expect the worst" mindset and I let the worst scare the hell out of me. I do fine at work and when I'm out shopping or something that's not my issue. I'm just worried about running into old school mates who knew me before. They'll hear me being called Britney and will be they'll either be oblivious if they don't recognize me or know something "weird" is going on.

And Tekla some people choose to go to community college for general ed.  going to a university for that is a waste of money.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on April 25, 2011, 12:56:05 PM
Yeah I usually have the "Hope for the best & expect the worst" mindset and I let the worst scare the hell out of me. I do fine at work and when I'm out shopping or something that's not my issue. I'm just worried about running into old school mates who knew me before. They'll hear me being called Britney and will be they'll either be oblivious if they don't recognize me or know something "weird" is going on.

And Tekla some people choose to go to community college for general ed.  going to a university for that is a waste of money.

Your mindset mirrors mine, but I have experience going to CC campuses as Emma, and I can tell you right now, as long as you act cool they'll be okay with it. You are protected from discrimination and harassment there by law as well.

That said, Tekla is right. A CC campus is a lot like a high school campus until you get into the requisite core transfer courses for your university's bachelor program. As soon as I stepped into a chemistry lab I knew I was relatively safe from the judgment of HS minded nitwits.

Quote from: EmmaM on April 25, 2011, 01:34:36 PM
Your mindset mirrors mine, but I have experience going to CC campuses as Emma, and I can tell you right now, as long as you act cool they'll be okay with it. You are protected from discrimination and harassment there by law as well.

That said, Tekla is right. A CC campus is a lot like a high school campus until you get into the requisite core transfer courses for your university's bachelor program. As soon as I stepped into a chemistry lab I knew I was relatively safe from the judgment of HS minded nitwits.

Yeah I keep telling myself I'll just be me and invest in some mace and a rape whistle or something. Just to be safe. Plus I need to keep reminding myself I'll only be in school 4 more years at the most (I HOPE lol) and after that I'll get to leave this town forever xD

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on April 25, 2011, 01:46:50 PM
Yeah I keep telling myself I'll just be me and invest in some mace and a rape whistle or something. Just to be safe. Plus I need to keep reminding myself I'll only be in school 4 more years at the most (I HOPE lol) and after that I'll get to leave this town forever xD

I carry weapons. Pepper spray is very inexpensive and comes disguised in the form of a pen. I also use flashlights that have a crenelated bezel. Subtle, useful devices for protection.

The best protection you will have against anyone is backbone. You never know whether you can do a thing until you've tried. It'll be like diving into FT all over again!

Quote from: EmmaM on April 25, 2011, 01:55:52 PM
I carry weapons. Pepper spray is very inexpensive and comes disguised in the form of a pen. I also use flashlights that have a crenelated bezel. Subtle, useful devices for protection.

The best protection you will have against anyone is backbone. You never know whether you can do a thing until you've tried. It'll be like diving into FT all over again!

What is a crenelated bezel? And I've definitely developed one hell of a backbone from a lifetime of being hated and teased for being gay, I just don't want to get beat up.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on April 25, 2011, 02:09:31 PM
What is a crenelated bezel? And I've definitely developed one hell of a backbone from a lifetime of being hated and teased for being gay, I just don't want to get beat up.

I understand. I never, ever liked to fight either 



That's a crenelated bezel. I admit, it's not very womanly, but it sheds light and it hurts to get hit by it. You'll never know when you will need to blind someone or be able to I.D. them.

Brit, there are lots of trans kids here in Orlando going the CC route. I sincerely think this is the best path for your future. You will be fine, but attitude and a little foresight are important as the other ladies said. Proud of you hon. Stick to it and graduate.

My advise would be to look into night courses, they typically tend to be an older crowd that are there after work trying to further their education. You will most lickely not run into too many of your friends. The younger crowd tends to want to leave all their nights open to go party. Iin my night classes I'm normally the youngest one there and I'm almost 30. Just my thoughts.

<3 Teagan

Quote from: EmmaM on April 25, 2011, 02:22:31 PM
I understand. I never, ever liked to fight either 



That's a crenelated bezel. I admit, it's not very womanly, but it sheds light and it hurts to get hit by it. You'll never know when you will need to blind someone or be able to I.D. them.

That looks pretty good!

Quote from: Melody Maia on April 25, 2011, 02:37:20 PM
Brit, there are lots of trans kids here in Orlando going the CC route. I sincerely think this is the best path for your future. You will be fine, but attitude and a little foresight are important as the other ladies said. Proud of you hon. Stick to it and graduate.

Thanks Mel <3 I just keep reminding myself that I can do this, because I need to. I have no choice.

Quote from: Teagan E. on April 25, 2011, 04:49:26 PM
My advise would be to look into night courses, they typically tend to be an older crowd that are there after work trying to further their education. You will most lickely not run into too many of your friends. The younger crowd tends to want to leave all their nights open to go party. Iin my night classes I'm normally the youngest one there and I'm almost 30. Just my thoughts.

<3 Teagan

I did take a night class before. It was too scary leaving at night, my sister also had a run in with some creeps once. I prefer the day classes.

I'm 29, I started school at a Community College recently. Sometimes I've gone as me, sometimes I've gone as my female self. Most people... just don't care. Some think it's cool, some think you're crazy. I'm generally pretty uncomfortable around strange men as it is and I'm a Computer Science major, which is a field dominated by men. I've never gotten one negative comment from them. In fact, we've all joked around and laughed and had a good time. Point is, just find some comfort being yourself and you'll do fine.

As far as the high school front goes, I've had some experience there as well. About 7 or 8 years ago, I went back to my old high school in Orlando. Went to a movie with my former drama teacher and several classmates... while wearing a skirt. Mmm.. I really wasn't passable then either. And all throughout school, I played the role of a jock and a guy's guy. No one batted an eyelash. No one really cared. I still talk to old classmates all the time (albeit mostly the girls and quite a few who had crushes on me) and everyone is just excited for me. I think you'll get a lot more support than you realize. Besides, you look fabulous, honey. I think everyone will be impressed with the woman you've become.   😀

Quote from: Teagan E. on April 25, 2011, 04:49:26 PM
My advise....

Can NO-ONE spell advice! Haha, not being serious btw 😛

Quote from: SocialiteGypsy on April 25, 2011, 11:42:26 PM
I'm 29, I started school at a Community College recently. Sometimes I've gone as me, sometimes I've gone as my female self. Most people... just don't care. Some think it's cool, some think you're crazy. I'm generally pretty uncomfortable around strange men as it is and I'm a Computer Science major, which is a field dominated by men. I've never gotten one negative comment from them. In fact, we've all joked around and laughed and had a good time. Point is, just find some comfort being yourself and you'll do fine.

As far as the high school front goes, I've had some experience there as well. About 7 or 8 years ago, I went back to my old high school in Orlando. Went to a movie with my former drama teacher and several classmates... while wearing a skirt. Mmm.. I really wasn't passable then either. And all throughout school, I played the role of a jock and a guy's guy. No one batted an eyelash. No one really cared. I still talk to old classmates all the time (albeit mostly the girls and quite a few who had crushes on me) and everyone is just excited for me. I think you'll get a lot more support than you realize. Besides, you look fabulous, honey. I think everyone will be impressed with the woman you've become.   

That sounds great but people at high school didn't really like me. A lot of homophobia.

I was in the same boat.  But everyone I've talked to from HS has been pretty cool about it. You might be surprised.

Quote from: Maddie Secutura on April 26, 2011, 01:02:10 AM
I was in the same boat.  But everyone I've talked to from HS has been pretty cool about it. You might be surprised.

I know plenty of people won't have a problem I'm just worried about the kids who bullied me for being gay.

Quote from: Britney♥Bieber on April 26, 2011, 03:30:47 AM
I know plenty of people won't have a problem I'm just worried about the kids who bullied me for being gay.

Kids grow up.

Britney♥Bieber I have nothing helpfull to your school problem.....  but I just had to comment to let you no your Display Picture is absolutely stunning!

Quote from: justme19 on April 26, 2011, 07:00:19 AM
Britney♥Bieber I have nothing helpfull to your school problem.....  but I just had to comment to let you no your Display Picture is absolutely stunning!

This is true ... and it may also be relevant to your current predicament. I can totally understand and sympathize with your worries, but it does occur to me that you may be better off now than you were before, particularly if you present as female. After all, cute girls get treated a lot better, by and large, than what society deems as "sissy" boys  ... and if you act like a cute girl and look like a cute girl, well, I suspect that's how you'll be treated too.

Of course, you may have to deal with all the same creepy, bull->-bleeped-<-ting guys that other pretty girls have to cope with ... but every silver lining has a cloud!