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Name Change. Should I do it?

Started by sascraps, April 26, 2011, 04:02:57 PM

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sascraps

Ok, the verdict's in. It costs $150 for a 1-inch by 1-inch blurb in the newspaper, and the court fee is $150 too. So, $300 to change a name here. Should I really do it? As long as I can squeak by and pass inspection this year, I could sell a few things to get the money.

So it's out that everyone in my town hates me and thinks that they have the right to hate me because "I bring it on myself for being different". My grandma's been cool with accepting me as a guy and I found out my mom's take on it yesterday, and it's not good. She has no problem with GLBT people, she just has a problem with me and I virtually don't exist to her now, because I've just gone too far in not being what she wanted me to be. So I'm nothing but an aggravation to her and someone she'd like to forget ever existed. It's not me being trans, it's me being so far different from the norm. (atheist, goth, black clothes, pagan, now a boy) Is it really my fault? Do I really bring all the hatred on myself because I don't fit in to the majority's idea of what's normal? Am I really to blame for being different? -SIGHS-  :-\

It's $3 to pick up the name change packet. I guess I can go get it just to see what's in it. -shrugs-
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emil

well it's 3000 where I live and after you pay for it a judge can still decide against a name change , so i'd definitely do it for 300. you're not bringing anything on yourself. it sounds like you live in a very small town. it also sounds like it's time for you to meet some new people who are not all biased based on who they thought you were before you transitioned. you're not to blame for being who you are and a name change is not gonna make anyone who already doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand you feel any different. if they hate you now they'll hate you then, there's no "that person is weird and i don't like it and don't want nothing to do with them but at least they haven't changed their name yet" in people's heads.

basically you should decide on whether it is what you want to do and whether you're sure you want to keep that name....regardless of what some narrow-minded neighbors might say about you.
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N.Chaos

Dude, it sounds like you should just get out of the damn area. It's doing nothing for you, and being surrounded by ->-bleeped-<-s isn't gonna get you any further in transition or life in general.

As for the name change, I agree you should go for it.
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Kohitsu

$300 for a name change sounds reasonable. It's costing me $200 to change mine. If you are happy with your new name that you picked out, then go for it! And even if you don't like your new name in the future, you can always change it again.

I'm sorry that some people treat you like crap because you're "different". I get the same kind of treatment because I am "different", and I always have been, and I always embrace it, no matter what others think. If you are proud of who you are, then screw the people who pick on you for being YOU.
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Renate

Don't forget to ask at the court house about a  Financial Waiver Affidavit that can cover the cost (including the ad) of a name change.
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Megan Joanne

Wow, I can't believe how much it costs. I had my name changed back in 9/7/2001, only cost me $29. I went down to the courthouse in Alexandria VA with my mom (she drove me there and was my support so I didn't feel alone in this), went in there, asked to get my name changed, they gave me the paperwork to fill out, I did so, turned it in, payed the fees, didn't have to wait long, was no hassle at all.
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bojangles

QuoteDude, it sounds like you should just get out of the damn area.

Sounds that way to me, too.

Name change is $89 here. Was worth every penny.

Consider moving to a place where it costs less and nobody cares.
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Squirrel698

I changed my name for $550 and it was completely worth it.  Sadly my partner makes to much money for us to qualify for any waivers.  All the same there is nothing like the feeling of having a legal ID in your pocket that matches your identity. 

Not to mention credit cards, pharmacies, doctors offices, everywhere will refer to you by your proper and legal name.  It is a really great boost. 

My Mother is still not speaking to me and since she broke off contact I've never been happier.  Don't let anyone hold you back from yourself.  Life is to short to live it for other people. 
"It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul"
Invictus - William Ernest Henley
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JohnR

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Corey

Definitely get it changed if that's what you want. Move away from that place too xD
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tekla

Change your name, then move.  You'll be male when you arrive where ever it is you're going.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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Radar

No, it's not your fault. None of us ask for this.

If it's true that the majority of your town hate you for being transgender that opens you up for alot of hate crime. Staying where you live could become dangerous for you.

However, I would recommend you change your name before you moved. Most counties and states won't let you legally change your name until you've lived there for a certain amount of time- usually 6-12 months. So, unless you move to the same state and county your wait could be longer.
"In this one of many possible worlds, all for the best, or some bizarre test?
It is what it is—and whatever.
Time is still the infinite jest."
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