This will probably end up a rant like most of my posts XZ Sorry...

So I'm super duper sick at the moment, my mother dragged me out of the house this morning so I could go to the doctors and get a note for having the day off work, when the doctor told me I absolutely couldn't go to either of my jobs for a week because I'm highly contagious

After that my mother needed to go and fill a script for me, so I sat at a bench in the middle of the mall. A boy (maybe twelve years old?) walked past me to put some rubbish in the bin beside the bench and stared at me the whole way, he literally turned his head right back to keep staring at me as he was walking in the other direction, then kept staring as he walked back past me.

It was then I heard his mother practically yelling, 'Don't stare! Don't stare!' really loudly, she grabbed his arm and hurried off with him, but it left me feeling really terrible...more terrible than I was already feeling.

I'm pretty oblivious to everything around me, but I went shopping with my step-father a few days ago, and while we were standing around eating ice-cream and waiting for my mother, he kept commenting on how everyone who walked past us would stare at me. I never notice it, but as soon as he pointed it out it was really obvious.

Kids are the worst though, them I notice. Pretty much every child I see now stares at me, it makes me so uncomfortable. I'm sure they're trying to work out if I'm male or female, and it just makes me wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

I understand that kids don't realise what they're doing is rude, but adults? Do they honestly not realise how horrible it is to stare at someone just because they're different? What about that mother? Di`d she think yelling out 'Don't stare!' in the middle of the mall was helping me feel better about her son staring me to death?

-sigh- I just wish I could blend in...is that too much to ask?

  I know how you feel...

  Early on in transition I would get those stares... especially from kids. It's like they pick up on self-consciousness and target you. I once had three older ones, in line with me at Taco Bell, openly discuss what I was as if I couldn't hear them.

   It was starting to piss me off so I started staring right back at them... Then I'd make a funny face, cross my eyes or stick my tongue bar out at them. I don't know if it will work for you but for me, laughter trumps awkward 99% of the time. Sometimes, just smiling and waving "hi" can be very disarming.

  It gets better....

happens to me ALL THE TIME. pisses me off when the kid is old enough to know better than to stare. i don't have advice for you on it, just wanted to let you know you're not alone in it 

I've had that happen to me too! Worst was one day when I could hear a bunch of kids trying to figure out what I was-- and decided I was a girl! One of those awful moments when you almost pass but don't. Bummer. I'm sure the awkward stage will pass someday, though. Stuff to look forward to!

I get the same thing, all the time. However I'm weird because I don't question if they are questioning my gender (unless they are old). I've got piercings and a tattoo that covers most of my forearm so I just assume that's what they are looking at. Sometimes I get vain too and think they are just attracted to me or something.

You could always just wear a really big oversized sombrero and then you don't have to worry about them questioning your gender, since they'll probably be to interested in the hat.

That happened to me before when my hair was kinda spikey-- it was more of a female cut, but I looked pretty andro or just like a really butch lesbian.  I didn't like it and it was one of the reasons I grew my hair out long.  But I think the haircut I have now is working pretty well.  I haven't gotten any stares since I got it.  I wish I could keep it.

One of the things that I fear most are children, they are way too observant, things that adults don't see, they do. Such as my adams apple, if I catch a kid staring at me too long I know they are trying to work out some details, I keep my face pointed more at a downward angle so as to hide that darn giveaway protruding from the front of my neck, or sometimes if I'm in the mood just stare back at them, they don't like that too much. I really don't know how the adults don't see it, I guess its because they are all in their own little worlds, whether shopping, checking out at my register at work, or chatting on their cell phones, yep, gotta be that, too involved with their own selves to even give anyone else any notice, thank goodness for me. For years my youngest nephew, before he was told what I was, would point out my adams apple to me every single time my mom and I went up to visit, he ask "what's that lump in your throat?", he was always fascinated by it, and every single time I would tell him that its a mess up, a deformity, or such, but he wasn't satisfied with anything I told him, and it wasn't for me to say the truth until his mom approved of his knowing.



A couple times, because I'm not much of a talker to begin with, also quiet spoken, having talked too much, greeting customers at work, telling them how much they owe for their purchases, thanking them for shopping, it can get pretty tiresome for my throat, and a few times I had my voice crack or kinda go out on me, one time I thought I wouldn't be able to get it back, had to keep trying to clear my throat, scared the hell out of me, damn little boys (it happened twice with two different boys while at work) had to point out that I sounded like a boy (I just thanked them for their rudeness, just so their parents should know to do their job in making sure their kids have some manners, one I guess was so embarrassed she went to another line).

Young kids are ok, they don't mean anything by it and usually sticking your tongue out/pulling a face causes hilarity when they either laugh or run into something because they're not looking where they're going. Kids that are old enough to know better get stared back at, adults engaged.

That happens to me whenever I'm around small kids.

This one boy was around 5-6 in line at Subway was staring at me for a dead 3 or 5 minutes until his dad told him to move up in the line. I don't think I pass too well around little kids, but every time a group of people are arguing about my gender, there are more people in the group assuming I'm male.

For example, today, at school in the hallway, this group of loud girls had this conversation:
"I didn't know that was a girl."
"No, that's a guy."
"It's a girl."
"That's definitely a guy."
And then the other girls just came to the conclusion that I was male and the other girl was lying. I'm wondering if I'm too hard on myself because I feel that I never pass and that I never feel masculiene enough, even though I almost always pass.

Happens occasionally and my best advice with the adults is stare back. Usually they look away ashamed or give you a questioning look and stop staring. The key with that is confidence. If they keep staring I do my best "Why the ->-bleeped-<- are you staring at me" look.

With kids JessicaR nailed it. Sometimes it's just that kids are curious and that funny face makes them totally forget if they were questioning to begin with. Plus try to remember that younger kids are still being taught "gender norms" so they sometimes stare questioningly at the most "manly" of men who are wearing a pink shirt so try not to let it get to you.

Wow, I didn't expect so many responses, I guess we all get this now and then

Young children I don't mind, like everyone else is saying, they don't know any better. But when they're old enough to know it's rude and do it anyway, then I have a real problem. I try to stare back, but sometimes I'm not confident enough.

The adults especially I don't like...I should have the right to go through my everyday life without being judged and given the once over by everyone I walk past... 

most adults are courteous enough to quickly look away when they notice you notice they're staring. with little kids though, i don't stare back at them. i just smile and look for something else to turn my attention to.

I used to get stared at all the time by adults who wouldn't try to hide what they were doing. It made me feel like an alien specimen. I have a hard time staring back because I would rather not engage someone who clearly has no respect for me.

This hasn't actually happened in years; it happened the most often back when I was in middle school and completely insecure of how I presented to the world. Now that I know I'm trans I haven't noticed anything of the sort. I'm assuming the confidence that comes with that self-realization takes the doubt out of strangers' minds.

The closest I've come to this recently was at a cafe. There were two guys around my age at a table and I caught one of them looking at me, so I made eye contact and kept it. He turned to his friend and said, "That's a guy." I guess they were debating about it. Rather than take offense that they questioned me, I felt kind of good about it. Not bad for a pre-T, five foot tall person like me.

Not really any problems with adults staring, but a couple weeks ago I was out with a friend and this little girl was staring quite intently.  My friend and I both smiled and waved at her.  She smiled, waved back, and then lifted her skirt over her head just as bold as can be.

My friend and I wound turning our heads away in embarrassment...

When people stare at me, I stare back. It usually makes them uncomfortable. If I'm with friends, I get them to stare too. That's what really gets people xD.

If kids are staring I usually make a face at them or wave. I like making them smile so it doesn't bother me xD.

My response to this was to develop the perfect death stare.
Also, giving them the big ol' psycho grin helps.